Were you raised by your grandparents?

Question

And if so, do you think it worked out better for you than if your parents would have? Do you always feel like you're missing that family feeling that other people have? And how do you feel you turned out from being raised by them? And if your parents are in your life now, how do you feel about them?

Don't get me wrong, I am really grateful that my grandparents have raised me, but I get the feeling that I'm always missing out on something.

My father went to jail when I was born and my mother abandoned me when I was 2 and my brother was 5 to move to California. My grandfather and my step-grandmother have legal custody of me.

I think I've turned out as a very decent person as my grandfather is a really good role model and has always been there to help me. My step-grandmother and I fight a lot though, I feel like she doesn't really like the fact that we changed her plans of getting older. But I am pretty spoiled because mainly that's what grandparents do, but by no means am I attention-starved like some grandchildren are.

My father, who was released from prison when I was 7 I've seen a total of 4 times in my life. I've always felt weird around him and don't make any effort to see him. He has a long-time girlfriend who had 2 children and now they have a child of their own. For some reason I don't feel like I can forgive him because he basically led to my family being so torn up.

My mother moved back here when I was 6 and now lives 30 minutes from me. While in California she had another child who lives with his father. As awkward as it is with my mom, I love her a lot and I forgive her for what she did. I see her maybe once or twice a year, if that.

I've never met either of my 2 half-brothers and I still live with my grandparents as I am only 16.

Sorry for this being so long, I just like some input of other people who were in similar situations as I know no one else who was raised by grandparents and know how I feel about these things.

Answer 1

seems to be an epidemic of grandparents raising grandchildren. i've always wondered why. if these grandparents did such a terrible job of raising their own children, what makes them think they are qualified to raise their grandchildren?

Answer 2

See how Blessed you are, and don't let the past ills of adults hinder your growing and loving skills.  Parents aren't always the birth parents, but, the love is just the same.   God Bless.

Answer 3

i was raised by my grandparents!!

but only for 5 years,,

well..

tat was a memorable period for me =)

Answer 4

c for some people it all depends on the situation. maybe your mom felt as though she wasn't capable of raising you guys. she probably was having or going through a really rough time in her life. Hopefully for you you find your brother, and hopefully one day you'll be able to talk to your mother to find out the truth, or at least to put some closure on the whole situation. But always remember to pray for her sfe might need it

Answer 5

i was raised by my grandma but she's really mean to me but i dont really miss my parents well my mom but not my dad he used to beat me jus for bringing a balloon inot the house so i really dont miss it at all

Answer 6

I was raised by my grandparents as well for most of my life, though I have some contact with my parents. I used to feel bad about being different. Certain things would make me feel resentful or like I'm missing out, like when my friends got home from school and called "HI MOM" or "HI DAD". For me, it was different. But I eventually got over that and realized I was just glad to have someone who takes care of me and loves me.

The hardest part was people being nosy and asking why I lived with them. I always felt obligated to say something, but at the same time I did not want to say my personal business. I definitely know that living with them saved my sanity! I am glad that I stayed with them and at the age of 18, I finally feel like it doesn't matter that I'm different. I don't miss things like calling someone mom or dad anymore.. I just realize I'm lucky and sometimes being different is better.

I think it's just a matter of looking at it objectively and deciding what is best. I know it's tough though especially when you don't know anyone in the same circumstance (I don't either!) But I think it does get easier as you grow up. For me, it inspired me to want to be the best parent I can be some day and to raise my own children no matter what.

I see my parents a few times a month and always have, but I consider my grandparents more like my real parents and my parents kinda seem like... an aunt and uncle or older siblings or something. It's a weird relationship, but it works out in its own way. I think I just felt better and realized I wasn't missing anything really.. Grandparents are still parents. I think society needs to be more accepting of the idea of different types of families. In many cultures, it's actually very common for kids to be raised by their grandparents.

Anyway.. sorry for my super long response, lol. I hope it didn't bore you!!

I hope that everything goes well for you! And also that you can feel better about the situation.