Were you scared to be a parent?

Question

Me and my girlfriend are both 19. We're expecting our baby in March and I'm quite scared of becoming a Dad. It's what we both want and I am looking forward to it, but scared I won't be a good parent.

Were you like this?

Do you have any tips/advice?

Answer 1

Hey hun,

Im only 18 and I have a 2 and a half month old. I got pregnant when I was 16 and I will tell you it was not something I wanted when I first found out. After speaking to my baby's father [who I was seeing at the time] I was really happy about having the child and thought that it would really be good for the both of us.

Was I like you? Yes, defo. Being a young parent is one of the scariest things in the world. Theres so much going on, financially, mentally etc. I worried that my daughter would turn out to hate me, I would end up killing her and a bunch of other stupid things.

My tips and advice are not to worry. If there is a strong link between you and your girlfriend you will be fine. There is so much going on right now and it's okay to feel scared. Just take a breather and imagine how good of a parent you will be instead of how bad.

Everyone goes through it and most people have said teens seem to be more worried but that's just because we're teens. =]

BREATHE and RELAX. You're gonna be fine, I was.  =D

GOOD LUCK [not like you need it =D]

-Richelle

Answer 2

its totally natural to be scared. My husband and i had our first baby 6 months ago, we are in our 30's and we were scared. The fact that you are even worrying about it shows that you care which can only mean you are going to be fab. good luck and enjoy, being a parent is totally amazing, sleepless nights and all x

Answer 3

put your child first, give up going out and doing your own thing for a while. try to spend as much time as you can just enjoying your child and each new stage; before ya know it they have attitudes and their own friends.

Answer 4

I think its harder for the dad to get used to. The mum feels the baby moving and is aware of the pending birth with every move and flicker. I feel for the dads as in most cases it doesn't hit home until the baby is born! It is the scariest thing you will ever go through as a couple but also the best. The very first moment you hold your baby in your arms is magical. Enjoy!

Answer 5

hey there. u will be a great dad. i was scared when i became a mother. i didnt think i would be able to do things right. things will come naturally to u. all i can say is enjoy every minute of it coz they grow up very fast. and just a bit of advice when your little person comes along dont forget your girlfriend.  

Answer 6

I don't think there are any tips really. I think it will just come naturally. One piece of advice I will give you though is to get a good job, babies are expensive !

My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby in January.

Answer 7

Yeah, I think just about everyone has that fear.  Don't worry everything will turn out for the best and once you see your baby for the first time, those fears will go away and you wont even think back on being scared. You'll be too overwhelmed with happiness.

Answer 8

Only naturel to be nervous but you are human and it's what your made to do, good luck.

Answer 9

CONGRATS  to both of you!! Don't be scared, it is true that babies don't come with instructions or manual to read and see what are his/ her functions. I was scared when I had my first baby(girl now 7yr) mostly because I was a sinlge mother.. I was afraid of not having $$ to feed her buy her needs, scared of not knowing what to do if she gets sick or if I wasn't a good mom for her. But as she was born everything change she was my world & just treat her nice and demonstrate her in many ways how much I love. Now I have 3 kids and I guess everytime and every day I as a mother I'm still scared of not knowing what to do, if I am a good mother, if I will live old enough to see them grow as adults and much more.. BUT I try not to worry much and I spend and enjoy as much time possible with them specially quality time which it is important.. As long as you make your baby feel loved and take good care of him/her you will do just great.. Enjoy every moment because kids grow up so fast. Another thing do not OVER protect your child let your baby explore on his own, and always raised him/ her together as a couple if you decide one thing them mommy will respect that and play along the same rules and punishments for the future.Also DO NOT let the baby sleep with you not even if he/she is sick because babies are intelligent once you do it, they would always want to sleep with you and you don't want this it may affect your relationship as a couple.As soon as you have your baby and mommy can go out, let someone to babysit your baby and go out as couple and try to do this at least once a month or every two weeks so you can have alone time as couple.. SO GOOD LUCK becoming parent. Wish you the best & GOD bless the 3 of you!!! :)  

Answer 10

It's good to feel that way in such a case, seems like you're a good one already, because some dads never give a thought, you're gonna be alright, and god bless the child that will born(smile)! good luck!

Answer 11

You are kids having one and if you are on the level about your fears, there is so much to read....you really should check the library or the internet.

Answer 12

I was very nervous. I know you are nervous but just think how you girlfriend feels. And once you see how special you daughter/son is you will just feel so much more sure and you will make yourself make sure nothing will ever happen to your baby. When I had my daughter I thought that I was never going to live up to my parents. But they keep giving me tips and support. It really boosted up my confidence.

Answer 13

Your feelings are normal for first time parents.  The fact that you're showing some fear shows that you care.  Most people have an anxiety build up before they bring a new child into the world.  I know I did...for all three of my daughters. Those emotions subside once baby is home:)  Once baby is home everything just seems to be natural.  You may not know what to do now as a parent, but I guarantee once the diapers start coming and going, you'll be just fine:)

Relax and enjoy.  Children truly are a blessing.  I'm sure you and your girlfriend will do just fine.  

Answer 14

Everyone gets scared being a first time parent. I had my first child young at 17, I was extremely scared but once my daughter got here the instincts just popped up and you find your way. My boyfriend was even more scared than me, to the point were he didn't even want to pick her up. He got over the fear very quickly, and turned out to be an excellent father. Everything will work out, just do your best and put the baby's needs first. Congratulations to you and your girlfriend and hope everything works out for the two of you.

Answer 15

Of course, everyone has moments of being terrified and even afterwards that doesn't change.  Just take a dee breath and promise to do your best.  Thats the only thing you can do i'm afraid always try your best.  children are hard work but as soon as you look in their eyes and see you are their entire universe you know it's all worth it and you never stop being terrified even when they are thirty-five.

Answer 16

It is completely normal and it shows you will be a good Dad, by even worrying about it!

It is natural to be concerned, as you are entering the unknown and you won't have a clue what it's like until your baby is here.

All you can do is what is best for you and your baby...there will be lots of people ready to give you advice, good & bad and criticise your every move, but they all had to learn just like you will. So just smile sweetly and grit your teeth and think 'bugger off, this is OUR baby and this is what I think is best for him/her.'

I wish you all the luck in the world...you'll be fine.

Answer 17

You are young, but not too young to do this.

I think everyone wonders if they'll be a good

parent.  My best advice in the world is:

Remember to always, always do what is

truly best for that child. Not what you want

or she wants, but what is truly best for the

child.  It's hard sometimes, and it will take

sacrifice.  But, you'll know that you helped

bring up someone who will help this world

be a better place!

This sounds silly, but the minute they handed

me my baby in the hospital, I knew that noone

could tell me what to do and how to raise my

child anymore.  It was all me and my husband!