What, if any, do you consider to be the most needed changes in adoption?

Question

Are you fine with things the way they are or do you want change? What are your biggest concerns and what do you feel are the most important reforms/changes that need to be made?

Answer 1

Well, I don't know EVERYTHING about adoption,

but I see no reason why ANY adult shouldn't have access to their birth and adoption records.. THat makes no sense.. I'm sure there's SOME halfway "legitimate" reason behind it, but that doesn't mean it's right

So, open records for one thing

Stop all coersion..  There are, and alwas will be, plenty of young women who willingly chose to make an adoption plan for their unborn infant.. But the system needs to protect the rights of first others and make sure that these women are not lied to, guilt-tripped. I am someone who hopes to adopt, but I in no way think I have MORE right to anyone's child than they do (barring abusive situations, etc)  I realize how heartbreaking it would be for me (in the future) to "think" I was going to be able to adopt a child, and then have the firstmother change her mind.. absolutely heartbreaking.. but I realize it is her RIGHT.. or at least, should be.. At LEAST up to a certain point..

I Think open adoption agreements (if the FIRSTMOTHER so choses one) need to be enforceable, unless the Aparents can appeal on grounds of the first "family" being a danger, etc, etc.)

Adoption agencies (especially those that deal in infant adoption) need to be carefully monitored and regulated to make sure they are handling everything ethically, no coersion.. to make sure they are serving the young women that come to the for help, but are not "recruiting" babies..

Those are just a few things I can think of.. As a PAP, I may seek out an infant whose mother has already decided to make an adoption plan.. Or I may adopt from fostercare.. I'll have to see what doors open.. But I intend to make sure that everything is done as ethically as possible.. and my child has the benefit of a strong, stable family with me, and also contact, aswers, and relationship with their first family.

Answer 2

No money.

Children should not come with price tags, it is the most sick part of our society where there are websites with price lists for children.

Birth certificates.

We don't know what to call ourselves. We don't know if our mother gave us a name.

Medical history.

I don't know if my daughter, or myself, is at risk of allergies, breast cancer, diabetes etc. Wherever possible medical history should be disclosed.

Children.

Put us first. That means starting up charities to keep us with our mothers. Many of them wanted to keep their children, but were pressured into giving us up, or were fianancially unable to care for us.

Bottom line, no child should have to be parted from their mother because of money. Either someone paid for us, or our mothers were poor. Neither of those is in anyway a half decent excuse for seperating us.

What would you rather have, better clothes, or your mother?

Answer 3

Just take the freakin' money out of it!!

Most everything will come into line.

But its a toss up with open records.

So do you improve the lives of people already adopted or do our protect those not yet adopted first.

IDK, both are desparately needed

Answer 4

I think the government should use some of our tax dollars to help make adoption more affordable. I think a lot of couples would be more willing to adopt if it was cheaper.

Why would you pay $10k+ to adopt a child if you can have one biologically and only have to pay your insurance company $2500?

I'd love to adopt my 3rd child... there are so many kids out there who need a home, and I think my daughter would enjoy having a sister the same age as her (in a few years!). But considering the costs, I will just continue to have biological children. Why should adopting a child cost as much as one year of college tuition?

Answer 5

I think they should change the way it takes so many months. The child should be put into consideration. I think children who are in orphanages and trying to be adopted should go with there adoption family right away. Just my opinion

Answer 6

1. Open records

2. All adoptions be considered Open (unless there are safety concerns, i.e foster care)

3. Open adoptions are legally binding

4. Independant counselling for expectant moms

5. Better preparation and support for PAPs

6. Post-placement support for everyone.

7. The end to ridiculously high fees

8. Expectant moms to have an independant advocate or legal rep during the process to ensure that coersion is not in play.

And I'm sure others will come to me.

As for China, I would love for them to start a DNA bank, like they have in Korea.

Answer 7

I didn't read all of the answers already posted so maybe this was already said...

But I think what needs change is the research done on those who are looking to adopt.

Not all of the families are exactly parental material. Some times the ones that adopted the child are abusive, whether it is mental, physical, or sexual.

I've been in a foster care program and some of the families were great, some were almost as bad as what I was dealing with at home. =/

Answer 8

when you get to be an adult your records should be handed over to you..there should be no more secrets about who you are and who you came from..its a basic right i feel has been denied me and others.

Answer 9

more adoptess really need to learn how to surf.  i think it would help them chill a bit

Answer 10

Obviously there need to be many changes. My tops would be fraud and unethical practices, buying/selling babies, more money spent on treatment, parenting, discipline, development, nurturing, and budgeting for first parents; more strict rules on open adoption--so that you can't lie to the first parents about intent; more openness for adoptive children--as pertains to medical records and birth certificates and to discussing adoption with your adoptive child.

Answer 11

The definition of orphan clearly defined and not allow it to be distorted.

No more pick and choose off the internet.

Children with special needs made a priority instead of being disregarded.

Extensive education for adoptive parents.

I could go on as I usually do ...  but would like to commend the people above for speaking up against current problems being ignored.

Answer 12

1 - Open records.  Closed records are a heinous violation of humans rights.

2 - No private or for-profit domestic infant adoption.  Adoption should be the last option after parenting the child is supported and encouraged.

3 - Limit the number of times that a natural family can fail at parenting to 2.  First time - innocent.  Second time - can't be educated.

Answer 13

Open original birth certificates.

No more closed records for adoptees.

ETA:  more time to add:

1) independent counseling for mothers considering adoption.

2) make open adoptions enforceable legal binding contracts.

3)  proof of unethical adoption would be enough to shut down an adoption agency for good.

4) cap on monetary gains earned by the agencies.

5) tougher screening process for prospective adoptive parents.

are a few that come to mind.

Answer 14

I think expectant moms should, at the very least, have to have a counciling visit independant of any organization making money off adoption. A counciler should inform them not only all about the services to help them keep their child but about how to protect themselves from coersion and guilt trips. Let them know they can change their mind after the birth. A counciling visit from this same therepist at the hospital before any papers are signed would be ideal too. Someone to be on the moms side if she is having second thoughts.

  I would say that would help the most but I also think not letting PAP's pay all these birthmother expences would be helpfull to. That really makes the mom feel even more guilty about changeing her mind. Agencies should also not be allowed to move the women out of state.. The often do this to take woman away from their family and friends that may want them to keep the child. Its really think its all about birthmother protection. There will always be women deciding to place and their will always be people finding a way to make a business out of it. Start at their supply source while leaving a way for those who really do want to place.

Answer 15

I think adoptee access to OBC's would be the first major step that could change three things:

1) Nmom's who want privacy might decide to parent their child instead.

2) APs who insist on closed adoption may decide on an open arrangement or not adopt at all. (because in my mind if APs are not comfortable with allowing the child their identity they should not adopt).

3) Erase the stigma of shame and secrecy for both adoptees and nmoms.

Answer 16

I think that you can only look at a situation from where you are at.  I have been posting for awhile so many may know about the situation that my son is in.  I have just been learning about the problems with adoption in the last year. I never really thought about it much before this. I know that nfathers are not thought of a lot in the process of adoption. I know that the adoption agency that my son's child was adopted through only did one paternity test (which was negative) and then forced the nmother to sign a declaration of mother stating that she didn't know who the father was.  In the  state of CA there is a list of things that they are supposed to do in order to find an unknown father and they did none of them.  The lawyer for the agency says that the nmother had multiple s*x partners but they only required one to be tested and then terminated parental rights without trying to contact any of the others. The nmother should have also been forthcoming with the information.  She should have insisted on other testing or she should have at least notified my son of the situation before it was too late.  

In answer to your question then, I think that there should be more effort put into finding nfathers and getting their consent before an adoption is allowed.  It would save a lot of grief for all parties involved.  Give the child a chance to be raised with his bio family if at all possible.  

I know that there are many other valid issues with the adoption system but I am very uninformed and would not be able to comment intelligently so I won't make further comments on that.