What, if anything, would you do?

Question

my son's teacher treats him and us differently then what she treats her other students and their parents. this has been happening all year, every time we go to anything she talks to us for about 2 seconds and then goes and talks to the other parents and carries on conversations for 5 minutes or more with them. What would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

Schedule a time with her before or after school when she can't be interrupted by other parents.  Even if it is just the two of you for 15 minutes, that would be enough time.  Let her know that you wanted to have this one on one time because you are very interested in your son's development.  Let her know that you understand that she gets pulled in all directions when you usually see her and that is why you wanted the one on one time.  It might open the door to better discussions when you usually see her.  If not, schedule the one on one time again to discuss your son.

Answer 2

Well for me, I'm a direct person and I would confront her and ask why she doesn't take a fair amount of time with you all like she does with the others, and if you or your child had done something to her to deserve such behavior.  (which of course you didn't, but it brings to her attention of how she is making you feel without attacking her personally).  My directness gets me into trouble sometimes, but anyone who knows me knows their place with me.

Or  you can just blow it off and chalk it up to she not being worth the trouble.  :-) If it bothers you that much, I would confront her privately and ask her why, and tell her how she makes you feel when she acts this way. She may surprise you and it may not be anything personal at all and it could be just the way she is. Sometimes people talk to other people better than others. But she shouldn't go about it that way. Let her know how she makes you feel when she does this. It will help ease your mind getting that off your chest.  :-)

Answer 3

Geez...does your kid have my kids teacher????  I had the same issue, my daughters teacher was all over most of the other parents in my daughters class, and came d**n close to rolling her eyes at me, well it p'd me off.  I can be for a lack of a better word rude at times, and simply went up to her and asked her if there was a problem that I was unaware about between her and I.  Come to find she thinks its just terrible that I allow my 15 year old to get her nose and lip pierced (her opinion which should be left to herself). Go to the teacher and ask.  You will never know until you do.  If she won't listen to you go above her.  Document every conversation!!!!

Answer 4

I would email her.  Then you can really think about what you want to say to her.  Also, it's documented.  So if she gives you a terrible response you can just send that over to the principal and tell them that you demand to have your child switched to a different teacher.

Answer 5

1st I didn't read the others comments.. but wow sounds like they were rude!  I swear, some adults don't know how to act like ADULTS!

Okay so the same thing happened to me this year with my daughter ... and since she's just in daycare or what they call a "learning center for pre-schoolers" I dropped in during lunch and I sorta forced her to talk to me.

You have every right to speak with her, she's with your kid all day long!!

so this is my suggestion... drop by.. just to wave and say hello.. duh she can't DROP everything to talk with you BUT she'll see you're interested.. THEN schedule a meeting.. and then during this meeting just be your usual kind self and do'nt bother bringing up how she gives you the cold shoulder she'll just get defensive..

Just keep trying.. she's your kids teacher.. you have to be the bigger/better person here.

Answer 6

Lady_bella gives some well thought out advice...being direct and up-front gives the person a chance to explain their side...you say you have spoken to the teacher about this issue...but she still  "Blows-you-off", for lack of a better term...What I would do in this situation would be to contact her and set-up a private meeting making it VERY clear that you will need her complete and un-divided attention for at least 20-30 minutes or however long you feel it will take to discuss your son and his academics...let her know you are VERY concerned parents and you will not be accepting the small amount of time she seems to have for you...one other thing, maybe your son is doing very well academically and she feels her time is needed with the parents of other students that may not be doing as well.There are alot of variables...I doubt she intends to make you feel bad...Good Luck to you and your son...

Answer 7

talk to the teacher or superintendent perhaps.

Answer 8

It's all in your perception. Do you sit there with a timer and see how long every person talks to you compared to someone else? If so, it's no wonder she doesn't stay and talk to you long, because your body language will show your discomfort and displeasure which would send her "running" to another parent, as she is afraid of offending you.

Without trying to be rude, don't think you're so special that you deserve to be chatted up as long or longer than other parents, just be pleased she talked to you at all. She could ignore you and not even try to be social with you.

The world is not out to get you, ignore you or berate you, you bring it on yourself with the way you perceive things and the way you react to them.

A positive person will react with a positive attitude...for instance "She's such a busy teacher, she's got so many people to talk to. I'm so glad I got a minute to say hi at least."

A negative person will try to turn it around to make it look like this person was being deliberately rude to you and ignoring you in a crowd of people, which I could hardly believe is true. When you have a large class, there are a lot of people to chat up. Some you already know better than others, which makes it easier to talk to them.

You'd be the same way in a huge crowd...you gravitate towards the people that you know best and chat them up and you don't always notice that you're being "rude" or "ignoring" someone who just casually or meekly said "Hi, how are you?"

So give her the benefit of the doubt and if you're dead-set on being chummy with her, do it at a time when she's not bombarded by a sea of people!

Answer 9

What I have done in the past is request a meeting with the teacher and the principal at the same time. Without pointing fingers at this teacher, I would just say that there are concerns I have about my child,. and I wanted to make sure that I was being as thorough as possible in  my involvement with his/her education. Then, during that meeting, request that the teacher show you actual examples of your son's work, have her show you notes she had taken about him regarding his behaviors (they have to do that  for progress reports anyway,... it's not like you're asking her to put forth a larger effort on your behalf). I did that every time there was a parent/teacher night or a conference week, because that way, the teacher learned very quickly that I would not be brushed off. HOWEVER, I also volunteered in every one of my children's classes as a rom mother, a reading partner, a teacher's aide, etc.  I can't do that now as I am now single and I work all the time, but throughout the years I have built up a reputation at my children's elementary school. Just last week, my daughter's second grade teacher came to my home at 8pm so we could have her SEP.  I LOVED that, and her teacher loved that I was willing to meet with her after school hours in the first place. Good luck to you! Hope this helps.

Answer 10

I totally understand.. I have  had  some of the same problems.. email your sons teacher... write down your concerns and make sure you put all of them in your email to  her.. last year I emailed back and fourth with my sons teacher on almost daily basis.. he emailed all parents through out the entire year and then if you had a specific concern he would email you back directly.. if this does not work for you.. set up a conference with her.. and maybe even add the school counselor.. in fact.. I would call the school counselor now about  your concerns.. this needs to be dealt with now.. good luck to you...

Answer 11

how are your sons grades and his behavior?  if they are good then maybe she feels you are doing a good job already and she needs to talk to the parents of those who are not doing so well.