What's With all these Pansies going to the DOCTOR these days?

Question

In my time, if ye were damaged, ye'd go see a carpenter to fix ye wounds.

Anesthetic. Our only anesthetic was RUM (and a d**n good one it was, too).

Answer 1

I'll punch you so hard it'll kill your whole family.

Answer 2

Post this again when you get to the funny part.