What's a creative way I can ask my friends to be bridesmaids? Some live in other states.

Question

I'm engaged!! And I want a creative way to ask my friends to be bridesmaids. Some live in other states. Any ideas?:)

Also, I have 2 best friends that hate each other. Both had me as Maid of Honor in their weddings. One has a sister, one doesn't. I can only have 1 Maid of Honor, as they would kill each other as co-Maid of Honors. I've decided to pick the one w/out a sister, as this will be her only chance to be Maid of Honor. How do I tell the other one I want her to be a bridesmaid, w/out hurting her feelings?

Answer 1

Send them some pictures of bridesmaid dresses that you like and ask them for their opinions to surprise your bridesmaids... see how they answer and then surprise them with the news :)

I can't see how it would hurt anyone's feelings... it's your day and you have your reasons and the other ones are still in the bridal party :)

All the best!

Answer 2

my cousin sent all of her bridesmaids a really cute decorated little chinese take out box (it was similiar to that) but it had a fake flower inside with a tag attached with a poem asking us each to be bridesmaids. It was cute.  

Answer 3

Send them a singing telegram. haha xox

Answer 4

Congratulations!!! I made my own cards! I bought some cardstock, bought some rhinestones and little purple flowers and hotglued them to the cardstock. I personalized them for each of my girls.

As far as the 2 best friends issue, that's a tough spot to be in. Do you have a sister? Because if you do, put her as your MOH. If not, don't decide on your MOH because one has a sister and one doesn't. Choose one based on your trust with them, I'm sure you confide more in one than the other. It's a tough situation. One of them will get their feelings hurt. They are both your best friends and they will get hurt. But, they will get over it. It's YOUR wedding...do whatever makes YOU happy...Good luck!

Answer 5

Send them a plane ticket with a note!

If they are true freinds, tell them your reason honestly......they will understand.

Answer 6

A couple of things, first of all:

You don't ask someone to be an attendant just because you were an attendant at their wedding (t*t for tat is not a reason).

Also, you don't need an MOH, so why not have two BMs? But maybe you want to revisit a site like theknot.com or brides.com and look at the list of responsibilities involved. Keep in mind that you want this person to be able to come look at flowers and dresses with you, etc. This person has to plan showers and bachelorette parties. Where will the wedding be? Can they afford to do all this from out of state? Because in addition to taking care of the costs of parties, either alone or shared with other attendant members, they will have to fly back and forth, or drive, to be there for you before the wedding. I'm not saying this is out of the question, but it is something to consider, not just for her/their wallet, but  time involved traveling, finding babysitters, getting time off work etc also.

Now if you were to make them both BMs, for argument's sake, they will be consulting with each other to organize parties etc. Will that work?

They will be with you and together on your wedding day before the big event, so they will be forced to be nice to each other, as they are there for you and to make your day stress-free. Do you think they are mature enough to handle this? Things to consider if you went the 2-BM route.

Whether they are MOHs or BMs, they will still have to interact. Also, kind gesture to pick the one who will never otherwise be an MOH, but again, revisit the notes in the sites like theknot.com on why you pick an MOH, who you pick, and things to consider. IE not out of repayment for them asking you, not because she'll never be an MOH otherwise in her life-although that is a nice thought. You need someone there, barring no unbelievable demands, for you, to help you on and before your day, someone who can afford this in their schedule and wallet, who you trust will also be there emotionally for you as a support system. Those are the criteria you want to consider when deciding who will be your best leading attendant.

At some point when you get married and you have best friends and sisters, someone is going to sit at home and wonder if they will get asked, and someone is bound to be sore if they don't get asked. C'est la vie. You can't just pick everyone so that you don't feel guilty about hurting feelings. People have to grow up and get over stuff like that, or sit down with you, talk about it, work it out and move on.

Sorry for the long length-my morning coffee is still brewing lol

Good luck and congrats on your wedding!

Answer 7

Send a cookie bouquet, with wedding-themed cookies that are iced to ask "Will you be my bridesmaid?" It's super-cute, creative, and she gets a sweet treat out of it.

Also, just because you were someone's Maid of Honor doesn't mean you're obligated to return the favor. If you're really stressing out about the choice, and are worried that the other friend won't want to be a bridesmaid, perhaps make them both bridesmaids and either don't have a MOH or ask a relative to stand up as your MOH. Neither friend can argue with you asking family, after all.

Answer 8

Get the little plastic wedding rings (or a wedding favor of some sort, or even a pretty, inexpensive piece of jewlery - I don't know your budget), put them in a ring box, with a 'bouquet' made up of a couple of silk flowers, and "propose" they be a bridesmaid.

Talk to your two 'best friends' -  as far as having to choose the maid of honor, be honest.  One may be willing for whatever reason to be happy being a bridesmaid.  Explain that since they can not get along (for whatever reason) you have to choose.  Another way would be to pick someone else to be MOH and explain to both of them that you felt it would be unfair to choose one over the other.  

Are you positive they couldn't grow up and coexist for you?  It sounds to me like they aren't really being good friends to you to make you feel guilty about having to choose since they can't get along.  

Congratulations and best wishes.