What's a lonely Cowgirl to do?

Question

This is the thing....I live in the sticks and I have found it impossible to meet guys who are interested in horses.

Forget cowboys or horsemen...They are a rare breed out my way...Does anyone else have this problem and what did you do about it?

I've tried Equestrian Singles and found it good only for the amusement factor...in fact most of the "cowboys" on it are only interested in some Cowgirl action....

( yeah...ok...buckwheat, strap this on...lets see if you survive..) Sorry ...lost my train of thought for a sec...

And the few guys that I gone out with and brought to the farm have bolted when the get past the ambiance to the real "lifestyle" (ie the work involved....) anyway...sorry for the rant, but I view you guys as my therapy group, so I'm open to suggestions...

And yes, I am reasonably attractive. I don't consider it a situation of fugly or anything...(embarrassing myself) ..grin..

Answer 1

Move to south central Missouri.  Most of the horsemen here are guys, and there are almost as many people as horses.  Land prices are cheap too.

Answer 2

Do what I did, find a guy that knows squat about horses, and then convert him.

Yes, some will dart away. Others will refuse to go. But youll find the one :P

Answer 3

how bout them cowgirls. haha. Well why dont you find somone who would understand the work, if there are no cowboys find a construction worker, roadworker, farmworker. You cant take a white collar guy and expect to turn him blue collar.

PS:My Blue Collar People are a h**l of alot more fun anyways

Answer 4

Girl, I have the same problem! There aint no guys like that wear I live either.

Answer 5

Sometimes you have to look out of the box. My boyfriend is working on a horse farm and owns one of his own and absolutely loves horses. I myself don't really enjoy riding or the work that comes along with them, but when you really care about someone you have to open minded and try different things. I go and help him a lot with the horses not that he works with them and now he does more of the things I like to do. You have to give and take. Don't just look for someone that likes horses, be open minded and you will have a lot more options.

Answer 6

well don't feel too bad it works the other way too.the girls i meet are either allergic to my dogs or my horses,the work on the ranch might break a nail or it is just too far for them to travel to get to the ranch.the good ones that are used to the work are always dating ,engaged or married to jerks and dont know what to do with a real cowboy who treats them right.it is like they are scared to be treated with respect.i have been living alone for so long i would have to retrain myself to be around someone all the time.i am not too bad looking and i have hobbies away from the ranch but i am typically "cowboy shy"around woman untill i get to know them.but enough about me,maybe you should look in the shadows because that is where most of the good guys hide because they are too shy to aproach a pretty cowgirl.

edit:no fighting bulls doesnt bother me at least with them when i p**s them off i can go up the stock panels but a woman can follow me and i dont have to drive home with a pissed off bull in the front seat.and yes i know a lot about cleaning harnesses,i used to have a draft horse parade team with full scotch harnesses,spit and polished.

bo: i sent you a picture ..........i told you i look like a clown

Answer 7

I would love a cowboy, but sometimes its just not in the cards. I love horses like crazy. My boyfriend is more of a sports freak. Anyways, I love teaching him about horses. Its also okay to talk horses with someone else. In my case, I always go riding with my mom or my friends. It's okay to have some apart time. I even got my bf to go riding with me and he really enjoyed it.

Answer 8

I can certainly see the problem. ( I'm married but he's like , yes the horses are nice but I'm not doing anything with them)

Both my older daughters are at the "courting" stage and there are no horsey guys. There are guys with families who have horses but the guy himself has a quad bike or some such boy's toy and does nothing with horses.

In fact the only guys around here who ride are actually g*y ( seriously,, it's a huge problem because other guys won't even try riding because everyone will just assume they are g*y too !)

Edit: and unfortunately the farriers are all taken !

Edit 2: I have to agree with the answer above - I do rather like leaving him at home..........

Lol and the one below !

Answer 9

I've dated cowboys....bull riders...motocross riders..losers..haha.  It really doesn't matter WHAT they do...they're still men...they will still p**s you off...and you can fall madly in love with a man who has never even seen a horse..it's YOUR past time. I mean most guys like to build things and take a part cars..think about how difficult it would be for them to find women who like to do that?

TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS!!!

Any man would/should be willing to enjoy your hobbies atleast once in a while with you..as long as you reciprocate.  Most of the guys I have dated have gone riding with me atleast once...it may have ONLY been once..haha but they went!!

Besides..most real life cowboys..aren't like Tim Mcgraw......or Brad Paisely......they are MUCH MUCH MUCH more real..haha

Answer 10

You should seriously reconsider a horsey man! My OH is of the opinion that horses are all well and good, and he has a hairy pony of his own, but he'd much rather go and play golf.

It's so much easier having separate hobbies. We have common interests but never get under each others' feet - we have time and space to persue our own hobbies and have something to talk about at the end of the day. We both work from home (if what I do can be called work - I potter about freelance from time to time) and if we spent all our leisure time together we'd start to drive each other insane.

Find a guy you like spending time with, and forget putting restrictions on his hobbies. It's far better to find someone you get on with!

Answer 11

I know what your talking about a decent cowboy is hard to find. I just about gave up lookin but then I found the next best thing. Go and get your self a hick. I did and he sure isn't afraid of a little mud and some hard work. I know hicks have a reputation for being to rowdy or stupid but if you can weed out a good one trust me they are sweeter than sweet and more loyal than a puppy dog. They also got that fun side to em though so be ready for one heck of a time! Now from one farm girl to another sometimes you just gotta try somthing new.

Be safe ;)

Answer 12

A guy doesn't HAVE to be interested in horses for you to date him. I love dogs and my boyfriend of a year is afraid of them. Maybe if you eliminate that as a requirement you'll be able to meet more guys.

Answer 13

ha i have the same problem. i really like this guy that shows with my friends.. but he lives in Canada and i live in michigan.. so its not workin

good luck..

but you dont have to date guys that like horses. i mean if the guy really likes you, he'll suck it up and help you with the work, or be willing to have you teach him

Answer 14

Ride A horse.

Answer 15

I think you gotta nail down the basics of what MAKES the type of man you're looking for.  What makes the cowboy type you are trying to show us.

To me, a 'cowboy' is a hard-workin', hard-playin, honest as h**l person - he's got to think more of others almost than himself and be able to "get outside himself" and look in.  He's got to have really taken honest stock of what he is, what he wants to be and be setting goals constantly to become in reality what he wants to be.  He's gotta be honest to a fault and ready to talk.  This is just the top of the description here - and yep - it's soundin' pretty unrealistic.

See - back in the old days, people taught their younguns the value of honesty, integrity and social interaction.  Today, too many people are conditioned to think of themselves first.  They're taught to grab life by the horns and shake for what they can get out of it.    We have politicians today who cater to whatever special interest group pays them more, we have special interest groups with narrow objectives and focuses that operate almost to the detriment of other factors that are affected by their goals.  Money is everything to us Americans now rather than friendship, loyalty, etc.

This is why so many jobs are going overseas - "I can have it manufactured overseas and make more money" without thought to the jobs lost here in our country and what it does to our neighbors.  Not that global economy isn't good - lots of good things come from it.  But heck, I live in the Motor capital of America that's quickly crumbling due to people and groups (unions) being more for what they can gain for themselves than the good of a general group of people.

OK - Now i'm venting and going off target.

Find a guy who meets your basic needs - one with a small ego and a big heart.  Find a guy as close as ya can to your dad if you were close to him - because if they're too different from what's ingrained in you, it'll never feel right.  For me, my dad's a hard working guy who never was afraid to hug us and tell us he loved us - if the car needed fixin' or the hay needed balin' by God it was happening if he had to work himself to death to get it done - and it would have to be done the very best it could be if he was going to do it.  Now I cannot accept a person who does things half-assed or can't talk to me openly and honestly about their feelings or opinions or a procrastinator.  I would imagine a person who grew up with a lazy dad (or mom & family) who did procrastinate or hired someone else to do it all the time would have a hard time accepting or understanding a guy like my dad - not that one's right or wrong, it's just what you're wired to understand and interact with.

Find one that's got a quality you lack - for me, I'm highly impatient - I need someone who is patient and will teach me patience.  I've not been taught to manage money well (although I've hard to learn some hard lessons on my own) so I seek a person who is good with their finances and will help me be so with mine.

Ask lots of questions, look at their mother or father and family - does his mom cater to him unlike you would?  Or does she NOT cater to him as you would?  Believe it or not, if he's not accustomed to a doting mothing, and you're a doting partner, he will probably feel a little smothered.

Unfortunately, guys who fit the bill AND are already in the horse world are few and far between.  but you can find some out there with the traits that fit a person to become a lover of animals.  I've met a number of them who grew up in the city, but loved animals and nature so much, they took to farm life and critters instantly and LOVED it immensely.

Guys who can interact with horses quietly, patiently and successfully must, by nature, be able to put themselves in another creature's place in order to communicate in such a way that the creature listens, responds and participates in a relationship.

So - make a list - don't go on a hunt - take your time and watch.  Good friends (and I mean good friends with your best interest always in mind) can help you with this as they often know things about you you haven't accepted yet.  Above all, I think you should take your time - don't think that what you see of a guy in a day or a weekend or a week or a month is what he actually is.  Watch for the signs that show what he is.  They can tell ya they are one way which is what they think they are or should be, but they aren't.

Then, be willing to sacrifice certain things in favor of others.  Recognize what you can and cannot accept in a prospective partner because you will not find one that's perfect in every way.  You will not change him - so you will have to learn what you can and cannot accept.  So 90% of what he does and the way he is is perfect, but d**n he doesn't even pick up after himself.....how big a deal is that to get other things like honestly, faithfulness, etc?  Also, when considering what things you'd like to change about a man, what other Good things would that same change affect?  I hate it when my boyfriend takes a half hour to think about something and plan before doing it.  but if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to finish projects so well the first time......

Hope this helps - and guys, this stuff applies to searches for the right girls too - just subsitute the people adjectives here for your search.

Answer 16

I found my 'cowboy' disguised as a...

tenny shoe wearing

mickey mouse fan club member

dirt bike fanatic

car taker aparter

hot rod engine rebuilder

kitty cat lover

no wrangler wearer

no ball cap or cowboy hat wearer

didn't own a pair of boots

liked the idea of horses...but didn't know alot about them

And listens to the weirdest music!!

Basically everything I thought wouldn't qualify as a cowboy and my 'type.'

But he loves me totally and 100%.  And works to support my love of horses.  Will occassionally go for a ride with me and helps me when I need help.  Doesn't try to tell me what to feed, how to train, or what I should be doing with them.  Even though one of ours...is technically 'his.'

Guess I'm just saying...the best ones...are not always the 'obvious' ones.  Mine never tried to be something he wasn't...but was willing to try to be part of 'my' world.  And cared enough to support me and help me.

**EDIT...and DANG!!!...When he puts on his black wranglers, a black western shirt, the cowboy hat and boots...*drooling*  I just get all warm and fuzzy...okay...more than warm!!*wink*

No, I don't play dress up with him...that was his wedding attire!  But he'll wear the wranglers and boots every now and again...*think he knows I like it!!*

Oh my Blue...you are a sharp one!  I didn't even think of that!!!  I've seen photos of John...he's quite handsome!  And cleans up REAL nice!

**EDIT...I can't.  Only John R can do that...sorry.  That was probably mean of me to even admit that I've seen him.   But if he decides to post a photo...you'll see what I mean!

Answer 17

I like my Horse, I love my wife !

I'm not sure how it happened really !

She loves Horses which pretty much makes me a Horse person, willingly !

Yes, I guess I do listen to strange music and

I love George Strait !

I thank God that He set me up with this woman, she is the light of my eye's !

Someone is out there for you.

Don't give up !

Answer 18

I would love to have a husband who was into horses, but instead I got a guy who very much wants to see me happy and who loves my horses from a slight distance. The horses are my thing, and he fully supports me in that even though he isn't involved in them himself (though he does love to show them off to his friends and coworkers, hehe).

So I think you may need to do as someone else suggested and think outside the box or just be prepared to hold out for someone as interested in horses as you are even if it takes a while. Either consider finding someone who isn't afraid of hard work even if they aren't into horses themselves or just get REALLY involved in horse activities with other people and hope a great horse loving guy comes along.

I kind of like the fact that my husband is only peripherally involved in the horses because that means he isn;t always trying to tell me how to feed, work, train or care for them, hehe!

Answer 19

Date a guy long enough to get him smitten, and then and only then, show him your lifestyle in the "flesh".  If you live and breathe the horses, it doesn't leave much room for exploring another person's perspectives.  Get to know who he is and let him do the same with you before defining yourself by your horse-craziness. There are good men out there that don't know a horse from a cow...but they can learn.

Answer 20

Ya, good luck with that. I had to settle for a farm boy and turn him into a cowboy. Then he went back to his old ways and is just a farm boy/ trucker now.     Oh well........

Answer 21

I got lucky, we grew up together.  Our families were friends but we didn't really know each other because he is 6 yrs. older than I am.  I mean we knew each other, but we never hung out with the same people or anything like that.  Then he went one way & I went another.  We got in touch about 17 yrs. ago & have been married for 15 of those.

He is a white collar who says he only has that job so he has something to fall back on when his plans for the PGA, National Finals Rodeo, having his own fishing show on television or being an NFL announcer don't pan out.  Goofball!!!

My husband & I enjoy our time away.  He goes fishing or golfing with his buddies & our boys & it does not bother me.  I go places & do things without him & he's fine with that as well.  But we both love spending time together & with our boys & friends as well.

I grew up around "cowboys" & they are NOT all that girls/women think they are.  There are many exceptions to any rule  but in general, don't "look" for one. I believe that the right one comes along when you STOP looking. You may find that the "ONE" may not be into horses, but he enjoys being with you & likes to see you are happy with what you do just as you are with what he likes to do.  It is nice to able to go riding together, but having other common interests are good as well.

BB:  love your post!!! & American, my hubby is a Coors Light guy!!!

**EDIT**

Ziggy!!  That is funny!!

**EDIT**

Imabohemian  meet  John... John this is Imabohemian!!  

WHAT?????

**EDIT**

NO!!!  No ganging up!!!!  *look of shock*  I'm hurt ~pout~

Just trying to help...  You just never know.  John is always a sweet considerate gentleman.  He has & loves horses & is very intelligent & knowledgeable.  Nothing wrong with being shy & he has a sense of humor.

You admit to being attractive, you are also intelligent & knowledgeable. You have & love horses. You have a sense of humor & you are at least mostly there ~tapping head~  can't vouch for all there, I mean look who you are willing to put up with on here!!  "ME"  LOL!!

One just never knows....

As for the harness cleaning, many hands make light work & just think of all the quality time you would be spending together.

Accuse me of ganging up on you....grumble grumble grumble.....LOL!!!

**EDIT**

Oh!!!

I saw that Kevin is single also!!!  See there we have found you 2 possibles right here with a single question!!!!!

LOL!!!

**EDIT**

Worker

That was sweet.  I would say you are BOTH lucky to have each other.....

*EDIT*

See arr harr, my sentiments EXACTLY!  VERY well said.

Answer 22

i know they are just no where to be found....plenty of carnies in my area though if you're really desperate

i think i might have to settle for blockbuster guy

Answer 23

I thought I'd never get married, pretty much for that reason.  But I wasn't really looking for a cowboy, just someone decent, and even that was hard to find!  My parents insisted I marry someone from my Christian college, and when that didn't happen (thank goodness) I got really lonely and bitter at my parents and upset pretty much with my whole life.

Me being the computer geek I've turned into, I signed up on Match.com and started writing to several guys.  I made sure my photos had horses in them besides just me, to discourage anybody who didn't want that sort of girl.  

Well, after about two weeks, I got a wink from a guy in southern Iowa.  He had a construction business, but had grown up farming and sounded interesting.  We met, it was basically love at first sight.  It was his down-home personality that caught me...something that said, "this is your type of person".  And we were engaged six months later, and married the next year.

When we were dating, I had recently sold my horse because boarding him cost more than my own rent cost.  My boyfriend asked if I wanted to keep a horse at his folks' farm.  That's when I knew it was serious.  We went together to look at horses for sale, and bought one.  He said he had always wanted to have horses, but never knew anyone who had them and didn't know much about them.  Our running joke is that he's a "real cowboy" now...he'd be the first to say he's NOT, but he does have a love for animals and good farm sense.  We have three horses and go visit my folks' ranch quite a bit where we can ride.  We recently bought some cattle, and if we win the lottery we will become ranchers.  :)

It's funny, but I think if you just find yourself a good guy the rest will fall into place.    Be pretty choosy, when you're looking, and if the guy doesn't like dogs or kids, chances are he won't be the type of person you're looking for.  You just want a good honest down-home type to start with.  Then you can turn him into a horse person later.

Good luck!

Answer 24

d**n! you dont live in Australia do you?!

Im looking for a woman just like you!

Answer 25

My sister (twhrider) always said, "I couldn't find a cowboy to marry, so I had to make my own."

My brother in law turned into quite the horseman.

The next best thing is a farm boy, who likes horses.

Novice city boys who like tractors and such work well if they adore you and like the horses too...and they are kind of amusing to tease...

Answer 26

Hey all -

I been gone all day ... now I behind on all the fun posts.

Really wanted to get in on this one...hehehe * evil laugh*

OK here are my suggestions:

1) I suggest Bohemian have her own reality show.

Something like "Farm girl wants a Cowboy"  you know kinda like the Farmer wants a wife show, but ....um better?

Now that would be fun lol!

2) Anyone notice that Kevin is conspicuously absent on this post?

Seems to me he was complaining about a similar situation recently....

Maybe he needs to ummm " cowboy up" too...

Sorry, don't blast me you guys...just trying to help..grin.

Edit to Bohemian -

I have a feeling John ain't afraid of a mountain of harness.

I think he drives too...?

Answer 27

well in my experience is very good to keep them separate!!!

i now have a guy who isn't in to horses but its quite nice to be able to leave him at home and go to my thing alone!

thing that you should look for some one that interests you instead of a horsey guy!

hope this helps

happy hunting!

Answer 28

I would rather have a guy that loves me and who I am. The plus part would be if they have a lot of money and enjoy horses/can grow to like them!

Sometimes you have to give and take... Just like a horse if you have high expectations of what you want in your perfect horse/guy you will never find him!

Edit: Ever thought of just finding a good horse to live with instead of a guy? I mean common seriously they don't leave the toilet seat up and you always know where they are... Unless you leave the gate open! Also they will work hard for you without complaining!

Answer 29

I lucked out with mine...he isn't a horse person, but he genuinely likes horses and is very interested in learning more about them and about riding.  (He is already getting good at spotting breeds and coat colors/patterns in horses on TV, bwahaha.)  Honestly, I think that's the easiest way...find a guy that's receptive to horses, and convert him!  :)

Answer 30

I, too dated a few Cowboys & they thought they were Gods gift to woman & horse. Their way of riding was the only way.... LOL My Cowboy wishes he was a Cowboy! LOL He makes jokes all the time about, "He can break that horse", "He could ride that one" etc etc I have to laugh for his humor!! LOL One of my favorite parts of him. But he is willing to try it all! So he has heart & to me that is better than any "Know it all Cowboy"! I have no answer to your question.... sorry. But maybe you'll have to look in other ares not just cowboy...??? Mine can't ride like me, but he sure tries!! What more can I ask?!! Then I was able to teach him MY way of horse doing. & I like it that way..... LOL Isn't that the right way....??!!!!!  LOL

I loved reading everyones stories!! Black B I hear ya!! Mine is a Harley riding, dirt bike rider wana be, a beer snob but a Coors lover, NASCAR redneck( Me too!), baseball card collector, Dodger blue bleeding freak(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) die cast car collector, loves Berry Manalow(I think that is how to spell it??) (don't ever tell anyone LOL) to Motley Crue, camping fool!!! LOL  But will ride with me any time I ask. I thank God for him!

******edit******

BSB~~GOOD eye on them meeting!!!    

& Everything you said rang true! Gems in the ruff.

Answer 31

I dated a few real "cowboys" in my day, but ya know, I've never really liked it. They were always telling me 'their' way to ride, clean stalls, run a barn, this and that... I'm a very competitive person, especially when it comes to something I'm passionate about, so it would've never worked in my favor...

My "Cowboy" thinks he's a rock star. He likes the horses, but eh, 'they're not for him'. He owns his own business, and in his spare time plays in a band *sheesh, if I'm willing to support THAT, he better be able to support the horses* LOL!!!. Have you ever seen a 40 year old man play guitar in a rock band? No? Haha, Lucky you.

I give him heck for it, but i love him to death and any man who is willing to support my horse-crazy obsession is worth it.

**Edit**

Lmao Blue you're so funny! *john and bohemian thing*

I like what you wrote too about The right one comming along once you STOP looking. So true.

You all have some great stories! This was a fun one imabohemian!

**Edit**

worker that was too sweet!! your wife is one luck lady!!!