What's going on with this guy? If you can figure it out- 10 points for you!?

Question

So if a guy that I have been on 5 dates with texts me to say yes we can talk on the phone (b/c I asked him if we could talk) and then he text messages me again later and says "Plans changed- I am going downtown to listen to live music with friends, you can call 2morrow while I am at work anytime" I should tell you the date we went on this weekend was not that fabulous, we couldn't think of anything to talk about. I really like this guy. We couldn't think of much to talk about b/c it been weeks since we last saw each other b/c of his vacation and we have been communicating a lot via e-mail and text so it was hard to transition back to face to face interaction. I called him last night like he said I could and I got his voice mail. He texted me today and he was hanging out with a couple girls and guys that were in town for the week. He told me on our date that he had dinner for a small group planned and only one person showed- a girl that happens to not like me much- they joke with each other a lot and he used to like her before I came around. He called me tonight but talked about killing the bugs that got into his house almost the whole time. It used to be that we would talk for 1.5 hrs or more, but after 30 minutes he said he had to go. What do you think? What's going on? How should I interact with him at this point (we are apart of the same very large social circle) If he is losing interest, can someone stop liking you and genuinely like you again? What do you have to do to see that happen?

Answer 1

I think that there are several things that can happen when trying to start a relationship with anyone.  But a relationship needs to be fed from both sides. It can't be one sided. Many relationships start out with 1.5 hours phone sessions, you get to share all your funny stories, find out what you have in common, and get to know all about each other. However at some point you make a decision after all the information you have gathered. Do I continue feeding this relationship or starting looking for other relationships to feed because I don't see this one being fulfilling. He must still see at least some potential or he wouldn't even be giving you the 30 mins. However in my opinion, he likes you as a person but doesn't burn hot at the idea of having a exclusive relationship with you.

As to how you can make someone genuinely like you again you can't. All you can do is put yourself out there as who you are. There is nothing you can chage about you or do differently that will grab his attention. And even if you did, change something about you that might grab his attention again for a little while, you wont be happy. Because you changed you for him.   My advise, stop feeding this relationship in the hopes that its going to bloom into something more and put your efforts into finding someone that likes you for you.  

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is time to move on.  It seems like you are no longer an interest in his life.  You mentioned that you have been on 5 dates, but did not mention you were both committed.  Dating and making a commitment is two different things.  If you two were only dating, that means there is no reason he has to call your check in with you.  Or if he really wanted to go on a date with another girl, he does not need to consult you.  So I hate to be real, but if I understand correctly, you need to open your eyes and stop holding yourself back from life.  Cuz it seems that he is not.  

Answer 3

You said you never really have much of anything to talk about anymore -- so maybe you don't have much chemistry with each other.  I wouldnt' call him at work or text him or anything. Let him chase you if he's interested.  

If not, well, he's not the only guy on earth.

Answer 4

He's lost interest. He doesn't sound like he's a great catch anyway. He's telling you when you are allowed to call him....that would be a sign to me never to call him again! If you see him out, just say hi and go on with your business. I wouldn't ignore him, but I wouldn't waste a lot of time on him either.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like he has found someone else or he just isn't interested anymore. Move on and find someone that you really can connect with and not feel uncomfortable when you can't find things to talk about. It takes more than just liking someone for a relationship to work and if it is only one sided, it ain't working. Sorry...

Answer 6

He's lost it for you, but can't bring himself to tell you. Maybe you'll get it in a text.

Answer 7

It sounds like to me if you slept with him in bed already and had s*x...it's over. If you haven't had s*x then you better drop them pants or lose him. That is the vibe I get from your message./

Answer 8

Sounds like you guys are drifting apart. Let it.

There's a better man out there for you. One that keeps you intrested and stays intrested in you.

Answer 9

find bother bf,or be very busy when he calls two  can play the game sweetie.                

Answer 10

It sounds like he's lost interest.  Trust me, if he was interested he would blow off his friends just to talk to you.

That's my opinion.

What would I do?  I would find someone new to date!

Answer 11

Sounds like he just wants to be friends now. If you noticed that you didn't have much to talk about then I'm sure he's noticed it too. Maybe that's when he started to lose interest. He may still be calling you because he still wants to sleep with you.

Answer 12

Sounds like he has a female living with him and that is why all of the texting and calling at specific hours, etc.  Or, a significant other that does not live with him.  Lastly, he could be married.  I would stop calling him or texting and see what happens.  

Answer 13

It sounds like you said it all!  Its pretty obvious that he thought he liked you but now just really wants to be friends.  Dating someone in the same social group is extremely hard.  My last boyfriend and i were great friends in our little social group, dated for 7 months exclusively then it basically happened the same way.  We are no longer dating.  However, he is dating another girl from the same social group!  Funny how that works!

Answer 14

He is your friend. And that's what he will always be... just simply "FRIENDS". This guy knows your always around and available anytime for him to talk, go out, chat, etc.

Live your life and start going out with other friends, and in this way, you can share with each other your individual experiences.

You're time and life is too much valuable just even to think about him this much. Move on.. even without him around. Think about and love the people who cares for you more.

You're a smart girl.. and hopefully he will know and see more of that.  

Answer 15

he is a virgin or he has someone else on his mind

Answer 16

What I can suggest is stop contact him for at least a week or so. Not to answer his phone even he called, don't text him back or what so ever, then I tell you, you will know the answer......