What's going through his mind???

Question

My best friend and I have had a pretty complicated relationship for the past few months. We were always very close and at the end of the school year, we told each other how we really felt. We tried a "relationship" and went out a few times but because we both work and have other commitments, we didn't get to see each other as much as we would've liked. But, we did talk every night, even if it was only to say goodnight, we made sure we spoke every night. Despite everything though, things were going great. He said how happy I made him all the time, which is why this gets really confusing.

Then, all of a sudden, I would call and he wouldn't pick up. If I left a voice-mail, he wouldn't return my calls. He's my best friend, I talked to him about everything, so of course I kept calling or texting. Then after a while, I just stopped. I hated hearing his voice-mail...I wanted to hear him.

After not speaking for over a month, we saw each other at a friend's graduation party. He was really weird, he wouldn't get close to me...keeping his distance the whole time, barely speaking to me. If I started a conversation with him, he'd talk, but not say any more than he had to.

Answer 1

d**n GIRL!!!!!

I can sincerely tell you this: YOU LOVE HARD!!!! Poor thing... I am so sorry to hear that girl....

But here is my question before I answer yours: Why HIM? He is your best friend after all right? What made you two become  more than "best friends? And why now LOVERS??

Did you know that some people will be the greatest in your life if they REMAIN locked in a certain zone? It is called a comfort zone. Maybe be his comfort zone with you is BEST FRIENDS.

Or if not then maybe he like you the same but he doesn't want to be with you because he thinks he can't be that good to you. Or maybe he wants to explore his possibilities before he is ready to settle but he doesn't want to admit that either.

Or, maybe, just like all men are. He is not ready to commit. Have you ever heard girls saying, "d**n that man! I was with him for seven years and he never proposed and now he is marrying that chick he met six months ago????" What did I do wrong??? Truth is NOTHING YOU DID. His mentality was not willing to settle on commitment. A man has to decide that, "NOW I WANT A GIRL!!!" Until that happens, we always miss out on good things in life. Sometimes we have to loose the ones we cared so much. Then we punish ourselves by settling for a regular girl. But you women always are ready. Even when you say you are not.

Back to the matter at hand. Girl! It sounds like you are AFRAID of hearing him saying, "I DON"T WANT YOU". He knows this. And if all he want from you is a BEST friend and he wants to tell you that, then he won't. He know it will crush your heart that's why he doesn't tell you. Because he doesn't know how. How can he tell you something that will break your heart? He cares about you. He was your best friend first...

However, remember you two were, "TRYING" the relationship thing?... Well, looks like it is not working out well girl. SO ACCEPT THAT! Or wouldn't you rather be with him as a best friend than loose him because you WANT him as YOUR man?

My advice to you is this: Keep him as your BEST FRIEND and as an OPTION for a POTENTIAL boyfriend. Then go out and have fun. It seems like you have already poured your heart to him. I mean, I would think so. All those phone-calls, voice-mails and texts.

NOW let him decide what HE wants to do with this. Because the last thing u want is a man who becomes your man because YOU want not because HE wants. NOOOOO NEVER THAT!!! You know why? Because when things go wrong in that relationship. AND THEY WILL - Trust That!!! He will be looking for reasons TO LEAVE and not focus on WAYS to SOLVE what went wrong. Half of the time he will not even SEE what is wrong. He will think that is an OPPORTUNITY for him to get out of this. So he will make u feel so bad about what you did. And he will finally get what HE WANTS and leave you with WHAT YOU DON'T WANT, which is "NOT HAVING HIM". Then you will be back where you are: WIthout him!!! And because you care so much about him, you won't even see your points of view. You will punish yourself for not holding onto HIM. YOu will scratch your head wondering if you can fix what you did to win him back... He will be gone, LONG GONE!!!!

Most women, try to change men. But truth is men don't change for women. If a man changes it is because he want to for himself. When it comes to women. We just take a break. Look, If I used to do things and stopped, or in other words, "changed" because u don't like them,  chances are I will repeat those things when I'm done with you. Better yet, just wait till I get MAD at you. or when I am with my boys.  Is that really a CHANGE??? Nope it is a vacation. If I change that means I will not do them even after we break up. Now That's What I CALL TRUE CHANGE.

So find a man that WANTS you. A man that you will be okay with WHO HE IS. Don't get a man and treat him as a LAB "specimen"  that you want to work on. U change him by mixing some of your tenderizing passion and some out-of-this-world love-making. Hoping to FORM a "BETTER" person. It doesn't work that way..... I am a man. Trust me. I know!!!!

IN SHORT:

Don't get mixed up because he gave you that hug.... It seems like he is AFRAID TO DISCUSS THE SUBJECT....  And you are  AFRAID TO HEAR THE TRUTH..I think you know the truth. You wish differently.....  Why am I saying that? Because why did you sit in the parking lot and just "BSed for a while"? (QUOTE). You mean to tell me after all those messages and texts and voicemails, and all the time you waited for him to get back to you, and the first thing that comes to mind when you see him was to BS???  What? REALLY???

He came there because he missed you. He missed his best friend. He also was TIRED of hurting you. Do you think he never got your texts and phone messages??? NOOOOOOO!!!! He did. In fact he even listened maybe more than once. That's why he knew he was hurting you. SO he doesn't wanna hurt you. He comes to your work. To tell you he is thinking about you. But he brings his bu

Answer 2

It sounds to me like he may be a little scared. Try giving him a little space, or just acting like a friend for a little while and let him take the lead. If its meant to be then it will work out.