What's in this guys head? Why does he get jealous of other guys & kiss me? what does he want? need male advice

Question

I used to hang out in a group with this guy on weekends. After we got very close & he told me he'd never had a proper relationship & didn't know if he wanted one. But He treated me like I was his girlfriend & eventually asked me out. We went on 1 date & held hands, no kiss..but we didn't have a relationship because he couldn't decide if he wanted one.

He never tried to use me for s*x all the time I was at his house and sitting on his bed. He cooked for me once, always walked me home & he told me his parents really like me

I spoke to him on msn a while ago & he said he likes a few girls, including me. He told me he's had a relationship with a girl, but it was only s*x and he didn't love her & vice versa.

But now he's kissed me after we saw eachother in the street...just came out & kissed me when we hugged to say hello. We kissed a few times after & hugged me lots & called me this nickname he's said to me before. He's also told his close friends about it.

I am so confused

Answer 1

You have run into a male defense mechcanism.  It is a facade.  Here is the problem.  Yes, he wants a relationship.  Having no experiece but not wanting to appear igornant in from of the object of his affection, he maintains the pitifull attempt at the thin veneer of the facade.  If you are interested enough, you have to be the instigator but not too forward for this will scare him also.  Demanding honesty and straight answers will go a long way.  Listen to what he says, if it sounds lame face him with it, everytime.  He has to reach the point he will be confortable in trusting you, the situation,etc.  Being overly affectionate at this stage is not the ticket but helps in modicum amounts.  Assurance is what this turkey really needs.  He does not trust himself, is afraid of making mistakes.

Answer 2

confused about what?  The guy's a player...cool!  I bet his friends are gonna hit on ya soon too if he's talked about how easy it is you crush.

Answer 3

he doesn't know what he wants but he's more interested in impressing his friends than anything else.

forget about him and find someone who does know what they want and can clearly communicate it to you.

Answer 4

I think hes actually a really nice guy. I think that maybe his friends are a bit of peer pressure to come across as a player. I think hes confused about keeping up apearance & being a nice guy. He is still young at heart. Maybe he wants to be serious but thinks hes too young or moving too fast!? I don't think he knows himself. Hes still exploring. Maybe keep him as a close friend for the time being & talk with him to find out where hes at!  I think he has a soft spot deep down. But if you are still interested I'd 'keep the leash a little short'. Not too short like jealous short! Its just that if he keeps changing his mind, he may eventually hurt you if you keep letting him back into your life & letting him change his mind all the time! He either wants to be with you or he doesnt! He better be sure to make his mind up soon! Not everyone has the patience to wait arond all day!

Answer 5

He is absolutely petrified about rejection.  Trust me.

For some guys it is devistating to think that he may not be lovable.  There are enormous insecurities involved her.  Thats maybe where you come in.  Make it really easy for him.

Firstly Do you like him.  What are your intentions?

You can make a move on him.  Tell him what to do boss him around a little, Throw the Symbolic leg over!

Do you understand how much of his time he has spent building up the courage to kiss you. If you like him than you and proabably no one else right now can cure him.  Make a man of him.  Im not saying bonk him without thought, but be a little forward and make him make the move.

Tell him to tell you everything, not to be afraid, you want to know why he is AFRAID to have a girlfriend.  (he probably had some really uncomfortable experience in the past)

Women think that Men are all about s*x, which admittedly we think about often, but the real gems the great lovers and partners are much more complicated. Break down those emotional barriers he has constructed, Find his core.  Tell him him you want to get as close to him as you can.  

There are proabably a whole host of emotional reasons, with family, his parents relationship, that makes things difficult.  IS HE the OLDest child?  Get back to me on some of this stuff if you wish.

The Nickname, means he is starting to get confident, Give him a flirty smile and reward him, brush his shoulder when he does this, he'll chase you.

men need our women, to help us make sense of our feelings, it can really make or break him.   Figure his puzzle out.  I think he might be worth it.