What's more important to you....?

Question

Money or Time??

I had an argument with a "friend" recently as I am a stay at home mother of 5 (and another on the way) and she stated that our 1 holiday a year was not enough for the kids.

I argued that she worked and the kids were in DayCare therefore even though she has 3-4 holidays a year, it was more important to me to be here everyday.

Which is more important to you?

Answer 1

We only have one holiday a year.. and.. I'm only pregnant with number one! Haha!

I plan on being a stay at home mum.. and I think one holiday a year is plenty.. holidays are expensive! Being there and spending time with the kids is just as good!

Answer 2

Time with your children is priceless. I would MUCH rather be home with the kids than be working and missing my kids each day. And, also my husband is a doctor, and provides for our family quite well. I would stay home and have little money, than being a work and have a lot of money.

~Kate ♥

Answer 3

I would say you were definately 100% right.

No doubt about it.

My kids are 11,11 and 14 and I still prefer to stay at home.

We are lucky to have 1 holiday a year. Many of my children's friends have both parents that work full time. The parents would not have a clue of what the kids get up too. Trust me, I am the mum who pumps up the soccer balls and adjusts the scooter wheels. Not just for my kids but their friends too. I love it!

My kids have just come home from school. Its a freezing cold day, so I made them choc chip cookies to eat when they get home. They are still warm.. mmmm.

Money spent on holidays doesn't make up for these memories!

BTW I understand some parents have to go to work to survive financially. We just choose to go without some things that don't seem as important to us. Everyone is entitiled to their opinion.    :)

Answer 4

TIME - But I need money to live.

I say the age old argument of working and not working is over rated.

I am there for my kids no matter what, and working doesn't make me any less of a parent. I may be on 12months leave, but I still have to work on our farm.

My kids still think I am awesome, and their opinions are the only ones that matter on this subject.

Take Care, and check your mail, just sending you an message :D

Answer 5

this "friend" needs to butt out!

You're spot on.

My parent's couldn't afford to take us (me & bro) on holiday. I've only been on a plane once, and we went on that holiday coz it was part of the prize when my dad won a golf championship.  The only other "holidays" we went on were trips all over the country side to visit my relatives from country NSW.

I don't think I am any worse off for not having holidays. My parents worked bloody hard and the time they spent with us as kids was far more beneficial than a short-lived holiday. My parents spent money on the house and things we needed instead of trips away...where the money, in all honesty, would have been blown.

I can't even begin to imagine trying to organise a holiday with all your kids!

Good luck to you :)

Answer 6

You have to be able to find a balance. I could not go without a car in order to have one parent home all the time.

If you are able to take a vacation a year with 5 little ones god bless you.

Answer 7

Being at home with the children would be more important to me. Imagine if u missed baby's first steps because u were working just for a holiday!!!! Holidaying once a year is more than wat most ppl manage to do and taking 5 kids +1 in belly must be 5 1/2 times as hard!!

Good on u i reckon!

xx

Answer 8

I think its more important to be with your kids daily and only have one holiday rather than spending a few days of the year with your kids and having them mainly in a daycare.  So, i agree with you.

Answer 9

I would say being with my kids is more important than working and money.  I stayed at home for 5 years and then decided to go to school.  Being a stay-at-home mother is just simply not viewed the same these days.  It's so sad.

Answer 10

1 Holiday a year.....I would love that. My partner and children have never ever been away on Holiday.......3 or 4 holidays a year......it would be like Christmas.

This is one of the age old questions of what benefits a child the most- having one parent at home with them all the time until kindy or school, or daycare while both parents work.

I think it depends on your circumstances and how you want to raise your kids. Obviously you and your friend have very firm beliefs on how to raise your families......and maybe it should be left at that. You know your family the best and she knows hers. Some people are more materialistic than others and you having 5 kids and another on the way would have had to "make do" quite a few times to get through a rough patch financially and emotionally.

For me, my kids are only young once, we survive off a single income and it is tough (hence the no holidays) but I am studying part time so by the time my last goes to kindy and school I can get a great stable job and do my share financially. But there have been times where I wanted to work to have time away from my darling children, or we needed more money......you just can't win in any situation really.

Answer 11

I think you should both grow up. What a stupid thing to get into an argument about. You're both adults, you've each made choices about your lives. You would have each had reasons for those choices, so respect the other's decision!

Clearly she was feeling insecure about the time she doesnt spend with her kids, and you took it personally, and insulted her back.

As for your question- I am one of five, my mother worked full time and I grew up with a nanny and in childcare. We had fantastic holidays, a good education and happy childhoods because of my mother's sacrifice. Personally, I've stayed home with my kids. But neither is better. and you're being childish to suggest that your friend values money over time with her kids.

You should call your friend and apologise. Stop being a smug SAHM!

Answer 12

I feel I have the best of both worlds so this answer may not be fair.  My husband works all day and when he comes home I go to work.  I get to stay at home with them during the day and he gets to be with them at night.  Works out very well for us and I love not sending them to daycare to let someone else "raise" them.  I have never felt like I have missed any part of their childhoods.

Answer 13

Oooh that's a touchy subject.   I personally like staying home with my kids more than working and going on vacation several times a year.   But to each their own I guess.

Answer 14

I'm a stay-at-home mother also and I believe that is where I need to be. My son will start kindergarten this year and because I have had the chance to stay home with him and work with him he has a head start in life. I do believe that they need play dates so that they can have interaction with other children though. I think I would rather raise my own child if I can then to pay someone else to do it for me!

Answer 15

time of course!my daughter is 10 months old and we have one on the wayand i can not believe how fast time has gone..i hope you don't take offense to this but i think your friend is more into her job or having a luxurious life rather then taking care of her kids..i wish i could freeze time!life is so short and precious..

Answer 16

Both are important.

You may have 24 hours a day with your kids but I doubt all of them are quality time.  For some, staying home is a big pinch on the money situation.  Yeah, they  could choose staying home taking care of the kids but then they are riddled with worry day in and day out just wondering when the lights are going to finally go out on the 3-month overdue electric bill.  Temper run short and quality time with the kids go non-existent.  Working gives them much more security, the mind is at peace knowing the kids are provided with the necessities and then every moment they spend with the children are quality time.  5 holidays a year, if you can manage it, is awesome.  It is the Quality of the time rather than the Quantity that the kids remember when they turn 40!

For some, they have enough resources that one parent can stay home and care for the children.  This is the ideal situation - one parent provides the money, the other parent provides the time.

In any case, you cannot look down on a working mom, nor can a working mom look down on you.  Both of you are doing the best you can in the circumstances you are faced with.  As long as you love your children and provide for them to the best of your ability, then you are doing an awesome job.

Answer 17

Neither you nor your friend is right or wrong. However, It is nice to be with the kids everyday when they are small. But not everybody can afford to stay at home like you. If staying at home and mind the children is important to you, then do so. Nothing else should matter who says what? If someone has same amount of children and likes to go to work leaving the children with sitters or daycare, then so it be. Measuring how many holidays you two are having does not make either any of you a good or bad mother. The most important thing is that is it worth breaking relationship with your friend over a silly argument?