What's the Best Way for me to Attract Aliens to come and Abduct Me?

Question

It seems like everybody else gets abducted by aliens or at least sees a UFO except for me. It's not fair. I want to see a UFO really really bad but I never see one. I want to get abducted by aliens but for whatever reason they won't choose me. It kinda hurts not to be wanted by aliens. :-(

What's the best way for me to attract a UFO or possibly even an alien abduction team? I would really appraciate the advice. Thanks.

Answer 1

This is actually coming to a sky near you soon...

or either they will be taking you to FEMA death camps and the 'aliens' are really demons...

Answer 2

You might have already been abducted but your memory erased. Use hypnotism to retrieve it.

Answer 3

In Sims 2 you can get abducted by aliens if you look through a telescope for a long time at night.  Maybe you could do that.. and for a bonus you could get impregnated with an alien baby!  Its in a video game, so it has to be right!  

But really, do you want to get abducted?  I heard the anal probage is pretty rough :(

Answer 4

It's a genetics thing. If you or your elders have never been taken your chances are slim to none. They are masters of genetic engineering and you do not fit into their master plan. I feel sorry for you. Your bloodline will not be a part of the future of this planet. I am sure it is all for the best though.

Answer 5

Full moon party in Thailand - you need to drink the tea.

Answer 6

sean is right =D

be careful...

Answer 7

Easy man... go to bar , buy crates of beer, go to dessert, drink till u nearly pass out , if got chances u might notice flashing colorful blinking light nearby and being visited by a dark figure alien..

or , do something with your brain to increase your IQ to the max.. sooner or later and be patience , u will find yourself abducted and subjected to operation room with aliens in white suit.

Answer 8

I hear they like drinking beer. If they haven't yet chugged a cool one then you should start without them.

Answer 9

The most damning rhetoric against the existence of UFOs that has ever been written came from the stand up comic Larry the Cable Guy:

"If these aliens is supposed ta be so smart, how come they ain't probing the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders or something? It's always Billy Jo from the Ozarks?"

Also consider that the vast majority of alien abduction cases are sexual? You don't here about it because Americans are prudes who refuse to acknowledge that s*x exists, but what they show you on TV is only half the story. Supposed abductees go into vivid detail about how they were strapped down while a physically appealing female alien had s*x with them.

Now come on,you mean to tell me that there is a race of vastly advanced alien species that is composed entirely of hot, horny alien chicks who find fat, drunk rednecks attractive? Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with this picture?

You wanna get visited by an alien? Hard drugs might help. Just don't blaim me if you end up in prison or as a washed up druggie with no life and no health.

Answer 10

Hold the Energizer Bunny and keep looking up.

Answer 11

Hide under a cow and wait...

Answer 12

Most people just cannot ask to be abducted by aliens.You have to be selected first depending on your genetic makeup,blood group and certain proteins in your blood.Alien abductions go back many generations.If your parents got abducted by aliens there is a 90% Chance that you have already been abducted by aliens.Remember 60% of all alien abductees never remember a thing about there alien abductions.You maybe in this catogory already.

Answer 13

Move to the mid-west (or at least a trailer park), have most of your teeth extracted, buy a John Deere ball cap and start wearing wife beater t-shirts.

Answer 14

Based on the accounts of those who have already been abducted, aliens have an obsession with human reproductive organs. So look at yourself in a mirror and evaluate whether an alien would consider you worth while.

Answer 15

You wanna see a UFO that bad, ask your neighbor to pull down its pants and bend over. But seriously, why would d'you want to be abducted and be experimented on..from what I've heard. Consider yourself fortunate.