What's the best punishment for bedwetting?

Question

We have a child, already ten years old, and he still wets the bed. We've tried everything: grounding, taking away toys, no dessert. We even cancelled his birthday party, but nothing seems to work. We're at our wits' end. Help!

Answer 1

Don't punish a bed wetter, it is not his fault if he wets the bed. I was a bed wetter at his age until 12 years old. The solution is that I wore Goodnight paint for kids who wet the bed. He hasn't mature his bladder, that why some kids wet the bed. He will grow out of wetting the bed soon.  

Answer 2

Your child is not doing it on purpose. :'-( Punishment is unnecessary. I can't go on answering this. I feel so sad for your child.

Answer 3

Punishment isn't the answer.  You need to make sure there isn't a medical reason.  It could be a weak bladder, could be a sleeping disorder (that is what I had until I was 14 years old) or it could be he is drinking to much before bedtime and not emptying his bladder properly, could be diabetes or a UTI.  

Answer 4

DON"T PUNISH HIM.  I'm serious.  I went through that, and I wet my bed till I was 14.  I didn't wake up.  It's not like you wake up and know you're going.  You are unconscious...therefore you don't know you did it till you wake up.  You can't punish someone for that.  Talk to him, see if he's scared of something.  I was scared of walking in the middle of my parents physically fighting.  It was embarrassing enough, thank goodness that my mom understood.  i would have to wash my own sheets everyday, and couldn't have friends over or stay at their houses because of my problem.  He'll grow out of it.  My mom tried all sorts of remedies.  Nothing to drink after dinner, sucking on a cinnamon stick, etc... nothing worked...then one day, I just stopped, I started waking up on my own.

Answer 5

Never ever punish a child for bedwetting. It's something they can't help. Look on http://www.bedwettingsnotyourfault.9f.co... and http://www.goodnites.com both sites have message boards.

Let him talk to other kids who wet the bed. He isn't the only one.

Heck I wet the bed last night and I am 20 years old going on 21.

Answer 6

Never punish you child for this. Wetting the bed could because of two reasons. One reason might be emotional and the other reason is because of your child is growing, Or he or she can have a weak bladder, it could be because of a health issue. Never punish your child for this. You have to find out the reason before you punish your child.

Answer 7

You are punishing a child with a bed wetting problem that he can't help?  That is asinine.  First, take your son to the doctors to make sure it isn't a physical problem.  If it's not, just wait until his bladder matures.

Stop punishing him, it's like punishing a child for having an asthma attack.

Answer 8

The fact that your child is 10 and still wetting the bed is punishment enough.  It is not like he is doing it on purpose.  

For the time being get him some of those night time underwear they talk about for bed wetter and then go see the doctor to ensure it is not a medical issue.  

A few things to check out: is he drinking a lot right before bed? does he empty his bladder right before bed? when he dreams does he dream about going to the bathroom?  If so he needs to try and wake himself up and go.

Make sure that he goes to the bathroom before bed and then wake him up to go again when you are going to bed, this might help for the time being.

Best of luck

Answer 9

Do you punish your child for being sick?

bedwetting is a medical problem. bring him to a doctor they could give you tips and most important help your son.  

Answer 10

I wet the bed until about middle school. Why would you punish your child for something he can not control? I can promise you, he will have horrible memories of his childhood. He will outgrow it, but until then seriously, let him be a kid. I would absolutely hate to have you as parents! By the way, it runs in families, so ask around, and if it was you, you obviously wouldn't be "punishing" your child for a health condition.

Answer 11

Please don't torture your child like that! Its not their fault! Do you think that he wakes up in the middle of the night and think,"I'm gonna get daddy and mommy mad" then pees in his bed? NO! He is probably worried because he is so confused and embarrassed! He can't ever go to a sleepover, because he could wet his bed! You should help your child! He is scared!

Answer 12

You should not punish a child that wets the bed, it's not their fault and if you upset them it will probably only make the problem worse.

He's not doing this to spite you have you considered that he may have an actual problem. Take him to the doctor. The chances are that he is just a very deep sleeper and is simply not aware of when he needs to go in the night. The doctor can give you a mat that goes on top of the mattress with a buzzer attached. Every time the mat gets wet the buzzer goes off and wakes the child. The idea being that he gets used to waking when he needs a wee.

Cancelling his birthday party. I'm disgusted.

Answer 13

Try taking every privilege away  and talk to his teacher about missing recess maybe  

Answer 14

Ugh.

He's not wetting the bed to be defiant. He can't help it.

What is wrong with you?

He'll outgrow it.

What you're doing will probably make him neurotic and hurt his self esteem.

Knock it off.

Do you punish each other for snoring? Sheesh!

Answer 15

First of all, at age 10 if a child is still bed wetting it is likely a medical issue. You need to see the doctor and get medical help.

Punishing your son is probably just making the bed wetting worse. It will never "help" the situation. Try to accept it and HELP your child. Do you punish your son with no dessert because he gets the flu? Or cancel his birthday party because he threw up at school? HELP YOUR CHILD. Punishment for a medical condition is just plain stupid.

Answer 16

OMG you're horrible!!! You don't punish him for having an accident. I've never heard of such. Awful! You're being harmful to your child, not helpful. Give him a break. I'm sure he's not so thrilled that he's still wetting the bed at his age. It's probably rather embarrassing for him. OMG! He can't help it.

Answer 17

NO PUNISHMENT. What?, do you think he is being lazy? - in his SLEEP?, or naughty? - in his SLEEP?   WRONG.

He must be frustrated, embarrassed and sad, especially when you cancelled his party!, that is mean.

If over 7 speak to his doctor (UK we are advised), ask about getting an alarm (goes off when wee wee starts to wake him). It could be a medical problem.

Please don't scar him for life with punishments for bedwetting, most people know parents etc who have bad memories from the 1940's plus over this issue.

In this day and age we should and do know better.

Answer 18

your an idiot, do you really think he would want to wet his bed??

I bet your kid hates you, taking away his party??

He is probably just scared of you taking everything from him so he wets his bed..

take him to a doctor...

Some people.....................?????!!!!!!!?...

Answer 19

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Answer 20

Have you had your son checked out by a doctor? He may have a premature bladder that is so common at his age. Don't get angry with him, he really doesn't know he's doing it. Punishing him only causes more emotional stress on him and get worse.

Just remember, it can be a number of reasons. immature bladder, depressed about school or something going on at home, stress, and also it can be the foods he eats as it happened to my son, if my son had anything spicy or Italian, pizza sauce...etc. for dinner, it will cause him to wet the bed (He's also 10).  

Please listen to everyone on hear... they are all so right! i gave them all a thumbs up. well except for one who obviously doesn't understand and suggest taking things away, WRONG!!!

Answer 21

From what I know it's a medical problem. You can't "punish" a kid for something they can't help. He needs to see a doctor! Come on, you have access to the internet -- you should know this already.... so I doubt this is a real question, haha -- whatever!  

Answer 22

how about you get off ur computer and make the kid an appointment with a specialist

Answer 23

If it's an accident shame on you. your kid isn't trying to do it and it's cruel to punish him for it. but if he's trying to then i think the key for me when i was first was embarrassment. make him were diapers to bed try to potty train him again get him rubber underwear and rubber sheets change his diapers. If he continues to act like a baby treat him like a baby. also this may be a desperate cry for help sit down with him and ask him if anythings wrong at school or anything. if all else fails talk to a school councilor (make sure its confidential.)

hope this helps

Answer 24

My mother said she wet the bed until she was 15 and hit Puberty.

It was not something she wanted to do, she dreaded it!  My sister & I were lucky, as were my oldest son and Nephews.  All had parents who understood that it is beyond the control of the child.

Please, please, please, educate yourself about this issue!

It is not a bladder or age or behavior problem.  It is a sleep problem.  Some kids just sleep very soundly and do not feel the signal that they need to get up and use the toilet.  

I find that most Pediatricians are ignorant of the problem and the diaper industry tells us the kid will grow out of it to sell us bigger diapers.

There are many websites about bedwetting.  Most want to sell a moisture triggers bed alarm system.  I did use this for my son and it was successful.  My sister used the "random alarm clock" method.

Either method will require a parent to get the child up when the alarm goes off.  (you may as well, because as loud as it is, everyone in the house will wake up - except the kid sleeping two feet away!)  This is all the confirmation you will need to understand how deeply the boy sleeps.



He must wake all the way.  This means taking him to the bathroom and washing his face with cold water if needed.  

He must take responsibility for changing his bed linens so have extras ready.  Keep a chart of the times the alarm goes off, if he woke on his own, if he was dry wet or soaked, if he peed in the potty.  

Keep this positive, encourage him a lot.

You have made him feel like a bad kid and it's not his fault.  Time to swallow your pride and admit you did not understand, but now you do and that you will help him.  Tell him it's hard work and you will all have to do it together.

Answer 25

Okay, you're going about it the wrong way. Do you honestly think he's wetting the bed to be defiant, rebellious, or just to make you mad? Did you spank him as a baby when he wet his daiper? No, probably not, or at least I hope not. When a child at any age wets the bed, it is usually a complete accident, something he CAN NOT CONTROL, so punishing him is only going to make matters worse. Older bed wetters aren't uncommon, but it is harder for them to stop, especially if they are made to be nervous or embarassed about it.

What you need to do is buy a plastic bed liner to put under his sheet. You also need to let him take responsability for the accidents. This will give him a bit of confidence and dignity as going to mom and dad every time it happens and having them take care of it is not something a growing up boy wants to be doing. Get a set of sheets and keep them in his room. Tell him these are his accident sheets and that if he wakes up and had an accident, HE needs to take the sheets off his bed and put them in the wash. HE needs to put the new sheets on, and HE needs to go back to bed. He should still tell you if accidents are happening frequently, but he doesn't need to wake you up at night and have you handle it for him.

The reason he needs to tell you is not so you can punish him. Clearly he can't help it. Clearly he doesn't have the bladder control that a ten year old should have. The reason he needs to tell you is that if it continues and is happening frequently, he needs to see a doctor so you can find out why it's happening.

Don't worry. Bed wetting at that age is not horribly uncommon. That's why they sell products like GoodNights, the protective underwear for older kids who are still growing out of bedwetting and need to do it with their dignity and confidence in tact. For god's sake, let the poor boy have his birthday party. It isn't fair to punish him for something he CAN NOT CONTROL YET. Talk to his doctor. Teach him to take responsability for it when it does happen. Let him know it's okay and that he will grow out of it. But don't make him feel like he's a bad person for something he can't help. That would be like someone punnishing you for sneezing or getting a cold or yawning.  

Answer 26

let him wet the bed

make him change/wash the sheets

dont let him have sleepovers

make him wash his wet PJ's

its his problem, so make him deal with it

Answer 27

You need to go to the doctors, it is probably a medical condition, or linked to an emotional difficulty . It can be made worse by humilation, punishment, shame etc... so un-cancel his birthday party and help him feel a little more secure.

Answer 28

... You are going about this all wrong. He might have a medical condition. Punishing him isn't the answer, he might not even know how to stop it. Go see the doctor.

Answer 29

You are mean.  You should not punish a child for wetting the bed. This is somthing that he has no control over. Take him to his doc and talk about the options. Wearing some good nights might be helpful.

Under no circumstances should a child EVER be punished for wetting the bed.

Answer 30

Don't punish him. It's not like he talked back to you or anything maybe he doesnt mean it.