What's the best way of turning a guy down?

Question

okay, here's the situation:

i have this friend,,..

he's like a year younger than me,.

i really looked at him as a little brother...

these past few days, he volunteers to do a LOT of stuffs for me...

i felt happy about that at first... but later on, i have found out that he's planning to court me... he's such a nice kid and i didn't want to hurt him. he's preparing a lot of things for my birthday though i never asked for it. i think he's planning to tell me everything on that day, but there's just nothing i feel for him...! and i'd surely answer NO..!

should i tell him right now to stop so that he wouldn't waste so much of his time and effort on me?

or should i just let him do what he wants and wait for him to ask? what should i tell him? how do guys like it?

Answer 1

Casually mention a boy you are really interested in and tell him how much you value his friendship.

Answer 2

knock him down!!

Answer 3

I guess it's better to tell him as soon as possible so it won't hurt as much as when you tell him in the end.

Just tell him the truth and how you really treat him as a brother. Put it gently to him how you appreciate everything he's done for you but it just isn't how you want it to turn out. You can also tell him not to think too much about it. It's not that you don't like him; you like him in another way; in a sisterly way.

Most importantly, you must really tell him that none of this will affect your current relationship, that is, if that's how you really feel about it. I mean, it would be sad to see a perfectly good friendship turn out otherwise. Also, if you tell him earlier, before your birthday, you can always set aside some time (on your birthday) to specially spend with him as a token of appreciation and as a sign that the friendship you both share isn't over.

Just trust yourself. I'm sure you can do it. And trust him too. I know he will understand. Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Tell him straight, it shows that you have respect enough for him to tell the truth, the longer you leave it the more he will get his hopes up, don't make up a lie to try and let him down lightly because the chances are he will guess that your lying and it will make him feel as if you have no respect for him. But of course I don't mean turn him down in a really mean way, just tell the truth

Answer 5

You gotta tell him now, it will hurt him... but if you let him think you like him by letting him do everything for you, then it's going to totally take him for a surprise, and hurt him so much more.  It will defiantly hurt him when you tell him, but if you tell him now so maybe he can look for another girl he has feelings for, then you guys still have a chance at remaining friends.  If you wait until your birthday, even if it's coming up soon, he will probably be so mad and hurt that you might even lose him as a friend.  

Hope this helps.  :)

Answer 6

if u think like that .. dont tell him now.but tell him when he tell u about it  

Answer 7

Answer:  (and in your own words ~)  "I'm sorry, but I think that I know what this relationship you think we have is leading you up to. And, as much as I like you and am fond of you, but I'm sorry, I don't feel about you in the way you would like me to''.

As i say, in your 'own' words and own way, so that it doesn't across as coming from a script.

Good luck.

Sash.

Answer 8

just tell him- it will hurt- but being dragged along is worse.  

Answer 9

The one thing I hate is when a girl tells me who she likes when she knows I like her, so don't tell him who you like. Also, don't play games with him, just get to the point, it's the only two things that wont make him depressed.

Answer 10

Well there's no reason to be presumptuous and try to beat him to the punch. You're probably right, and he probably does see you as more than a friend or "big sister" but there's also the very small chance that he just wants to do something special for your birthday because he's your friend.

I would wait and hear what he has to say...that is, if he has the guts to say anything at all. If and when he does, you can try to let him down gently but I always say the best policy is complete honesty. If you make him think he has even a small chance of being your boyfriend, he'll continue to pursue that. You could tell him that you're flattered because obviously he's a wonderful boy if you're such good buddies with him, but that you're not interested in him that way.

If that seems too harsh, you could always use the "I just don't want a boyfriend right now" excuse. Either way, don't worry too much about hurting his feelings. This may not be the first (and more than likely won't be the last) time he gets rejected. It's just a part of growing up. Hopefully he will understand, move on, and the 2 of you can remain friends.

Good luck!

Answer 11

watch the movie how to lose a guy in ten days. its very funny, and true.

Answer 12

this is kinda difficult.  if you were tell him right now, that makes us feel like we just hit a wall all of a sudden.  if you were to tell him when he asks you out and you say no, at least he knows that there is a chance that you would reject him.  either way, he will probably end up feeling the same way.  the best advice i can give you is to let him down very easily and if you are comfortable with it, tell him that you rather stay friends

Answer 13

give him head

Answer 14

Like girls, guys HATE rejection, and bad news for you, saying no to this guy might be extra hard. So be straight forward and kind. Say something like this: "Look, you and I are such great friends, but I really just want to keep it that way to avoid conflicts in the future." If this doesn't work, say that you don't date good friends.

By the way, what does 'to court' mean???

Answer 15

say this:

you: whats your worst fear?

him: rejection.

you: well honey its time to face your fears.

:D

jk.

let him down gently and tell him you really dont want to hurt him but you dont feel the same way.

Answer 16

what you need to do is set him down before the party and just ask him why is he doing all this stuff and then if he says it's because he likes you then he wants to know if you like him too just say that you a very sorry but figure him of more like a brother and that really do appreciate all the work he has put on this party.