What's the best way to support my friend?

Question

Two of my closest friends just had a major life change. The husband, Ron, was forced to give up his daughter when she was four years old, to be adopted by her stepfather (long story, but the mother made his life h**l for years, and he was left with no other option). His daughter turned 18 in October, and found my friend yesterday. He is so excited, and they are planning a few visits in the coming months. There have been many tears, all around.

The mother lied to the daughter for years, but she was old enough to remember her dad, and she never bought it. He was so afraid that she would believe the things she was being told, and would end up hating him.

They are both excited to have found each other. She definitely belongs in my friends' family! She's just like her dad. Anyway, what can I do to support them? (I just wanted to share, but you know, in order to make this a legit question, I have to actually have a question.) :-D

Answer 1

Whats up with this i keep agreeing with Sunny?? lol

Also a scrapbook idea.  Take old photos from you friends side of the family and picts of your friend when he was a boy.  Put them together in a scrapbook so she can put a face to "uncle bob".  

I'm so happy for your friend and his daughter.

Answer 2

maybe throw them a party to celebrate!

Answer 3

As sunny said, get out your camera... also, get out your photo album.  Let her know what he has been up to since he didn't have her, and if he has pictures of her at a younger age, definitely time to find them, and share them as well.

Answer 4

I've seen this happen a lot.  Just listen to him and it sounds like you are...ASK a lot of the times....let him brag about her.

I've had a lot of adoptive dads this happened with...your friend is lucky his daughter never bought it...a lot of times the other parent manages to taint them.

I just worked with a man who signed off on his children because he was g*y (it was the early 80s).  They had him convinced they were better off without them and mom remarried the whole bit.

He was recently reunited with his older children and things are going well for him.  There are questions of "Why didn't you fight harder for me?" but they are working through them.

Scrap booking is a great idea....especially their "firsts" Holidays, baseball games.

Maybe you could offer to host a party introducing her to people in his life when they are ready?

Answer 5

Send a cookie bouquet

With the message Life is Sweat

Answer 6

To add to what Sunny said....why not flip through some of your old photos and see if you have any of her dad. Just like the first mom mentioned the album earlier she may really appreciate those. Oh and this is a great story and thank you for sharing.....I am glad she found her dad!

Answer 7

Get your camera out and take lots of pictures of them together.

Take her out to lunch, and tell her about you & your husband's love and respect for her father.