What's the funniest thing that has happened to you at boot camp?

Question

I wanna hear funny stories.

Answer 1

Leaving the chow hall at breakfast, The Drill Sergeants stand at the door to make sure that your tray is empty (take all you want, but, eat all of it!).

I had 3 pats of butter left on the tray, guess what? I had to eat it and swallow it in front of the Drill Sergeant!

Not as bad as some goober who decided to hide 2 eggs over easy in his field jacket pocket and got busted by the Drill Sergeants!

Answer 2

It is almost embarassing, but....

All the rich Navy food, I ate made me gassy...I mean really gassy. (Is gassy a word...?)

Well, there is more room out than in. So when we were getting one of our "red rope" inspections. I don't know if they still do this but, back then some of the CC's used to wear red ropes. (maybe it was gold ropes) but they didn't have their own company. They would monitor all the companies and give points...

We all wanted to collect engough point to win competitions. If we did poorly or failed a red rope inspection then we were toast...

Ok the barracks was long with all the bunks and about 50 of us females. (men and women were trained seperately) My bunk was at the very end of the barracks near the fire escape so my small group was going to be inspected last.

While we were at attention waiting our turn. My stomache was truning. I mean, one of those times when you know that as hard as you try to hold it. Well I farted loud and proud. Everyone in the back heard it (probably smelled it too). So we all busted out laughing. It was funny.

At the other end, they didn't know what was going on, but we all paid a price. It doesn't end there, all the side-staddle hops, push ups, steam engines, and what ever else only made me f**t more.

They were mad at me, but I was forgiven because they laughed at me. I had farts all the way through boot camp....Only the 4 of us in the back corner knew what was going on.

My friends never ratted me out. I would help them by shining all of their boots....and I was really good at shining shoes/boots. I still can put a good shine on them...I figure I had to do something to keep friends.

Answer 3

While I was in basic, on family day, one guy fell asleep with his girl at a hotel and was 20min late for that nights formation. The whole night thru the next morning when we graduated, the drill sgt. were screaming at him "what time is it?" he needed to sound off (yell) "its nookie time drill sgt." funniest thing ever!

Answer 4

i stutter alot and as our drill instructor passed by us we were suppose to say private___ has no health problems at this time sir! i said private____ ha-have no no no,,he heal health ppppprob prob problems a a a at th th th time SIR!

Answer 5

some guy got "wood" in the showers but that's really more creepy than funny...I got a laugh out of it though

Answer 6

I was 18 when I went through basic, as were most of us, but there was one guy who was 32 (I think that was the max age then), he was an accountant for Ford motor company's head office but got the wild hair to enlist as a Specialist, even though he had a bachelors degree.  Well while we were waiting for the Drills to come out to march us to chow he crapped his pants.  We all had a great laugh, although I am sure he was embarrassed beyond belief.  He was a good guy though, and sadly he was killed in Iraq 2 years later

Answer 7

I went to basic training at Ft Jackson SC. I was in the old barracks on Tank Hill that no longer exist. C-5-1-2. We were at mail call one night and I got this very official looking letter. I opened it to find out that I was in danger of further action for not registering for selective service. First I am a female and we didn't have to register and second I was already in basic training. "HEEELLLOOOOO!!!!" So I said out loud "you have got to be shitting me" When I explained it to the Drill Sgt I had to do 20 push ups for talking during mail call, 20 push ups for cussing and 20 push ups for not registering for selective service and trying to be a man. It was funny at the time.  

Answer 8

USMC-

every platoon inBC has atleast one idiot, one day we were told to go back there and get our kevlar, and this one recruit came back with one sock! hahahaha , its funny cuz he would do this constantly

Answer 9

Wow, this was a long time ago but I remember when I was in boot camp, a female stowed a roll of toilet paper in her locker. One day she left her locker unlocked and from the male squad bay I heard the company commander yelling at her. He made everyone muster on the parade field and then he wrapped her up with the toilet paper like a mummy. Then she had to march around the parade field with the tp wrapped all around her and her hands out in front of her. She was instructed to repeat out loud, "Sir, I like TP Sir!". It was close to evening color too so all the company commanders were yelling at her. It was the funniest thing ever.

The uscg has company commanders instead of drill sargents.

Answer 10

I had a female TI that looked like a man. She called over a male Airman and he said, "Proceeding Sir!"

And she yelled, "I am not a sir!"

He looked blankly at her and said " Um..Proceeding ma'am."

It was hilarious!

Answer 11

One night at Ft Benning, my company (C 2/58) was out in the field and it was time to bed down for the night. Well I had just gotten undressed and was ready to crawl into my sleeping bag, when would'nt you know it, the DS called a formation. So I said s***w it and threw my boots and gear on, grabbed my weapon and fell in... in my underwear. My platoon almost had a heart attack, until the DS noticed that 3rd platoon's platoon guide fell in dressed the same way.

seachell, when my father got his draft notice in 1966, he informed his draft board he'd been in the Army since 1963 and was 6 months from getting out.

Answer 12

marine corps boot camp 2006

battalion commanders inspection

a staff sergeant di asks the recruit next to me a simple knowledge question who was the first woman in the marines and with a straight face the recruit replies OPRAH, sir

Answer 13

It was Sunday, our "free" day. I wanted to find a quiet place to read my book and it was cold in our bay...so I got in the dryer where it was nice and warm...and feel asleep. Well all the females thought it was funny so they took some pics and then went and got the DS...lucky for me it was my favorite DS who was cool as all get out. But he gave me a big scare. He slammed the dryer door shut and turned it on. I went around twice before I kicked the door open. He just looked at me and said, "Find a better place to sleep private." Then walked out....I thought I was in trouble.