What's the funniest thing you heard a child say?

Question

My niece (who was about 12), her dad took her to McDonalds, after they come home, she goes in the bathroom, comes out & starts pigging out on food, her dad freaks & goes; "WE JUST ATE FOOD & YOU'RE EATING AGAIN?!" & she goes; "BUT I POOPED IT OUT & GOT HUNGRY AGAIN! (ya-she's an only child & a snob)

Answer 1

I was giving my daughter (who is a year old) a bath, and my cousin (who is four) wondered why her "peepee" fell off.

LMFAO.

Answer 2

We were eating dinner, my mom asked my 3 year old niece if the chicken tasted good she said "The chicken is good.....hmmmm but cookie is even better".

Answer 3

i was helping to teach a preschool class and one of the little boys came up to me and said ever so sweetly, and kinda like he was worried "teacher, somebody left their cricket".

there was a dead one behind the door.

Answer 4

Girl child(4): Hey! We should get married!

Boy child(4): Whats married?

Girl: I don't know. Its something at church.

Boy: OK.

Ok... this was so funny! If only guys were really that easy!  

Answer 5

When my little brother was three he came running into my mom's bedroom with a plastic grocery bag tied around his neck like a cape.  My mom imediatly took it off and told him not to do that any more because it could choke him.  He looked at her and said "Oh come on mom...thats the only way to be 'SUPER WALMART!!!!'"  Upon closer examination my mother realized it was a wal-mart bag tied around his neck.

Also....

When my sister was 11 my mom let her fill out her own paper work at the doctors office.  Before giving it to the receptionist and my mom reviewed the information written on it to make sure everything was correct.  In the space entitled "Phone # for Emergency Contact"  my sister had written 911

Answer 6

Many years ago when one of my nieces was little, she wanted to go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and asked her mom if they could go to "F**ky Fried Chicken".  My sister didn't laugh or scold her so she didn't think it was "cute" or anything.......

Answer 7

In a public restroom, a mom and her little girl - mom said "come on, let's wash your hands" - the little girl said "why do I have to wash my hands, YOU wiped me!"  Everybody cracked up!

Answer 8

when my cousin was 3 she was riding her big wheel in her basement with her brother. He stopped his ride and walked away and when she came upon it she screamed "Get this piece of sh**t out of my way!!

I thought it was funny

Answer 9

When my 15month old who mostly babbles tells her dad after he passes gas. ooh dada you stink, dada you stink, stinky, stinky and laughs and snorks!!!

Answer 10

Six kids, but the funny -sweetest thing I ever heard was  from a little girl I do not know.

We were on a local train that passes by Fort Snelling National Cemetery in Minneapolis.

The mother said to her daughters" Look girls, that is where grandpa is."

the older one, about four, looked hard at the headstones, all in orderly rows, the green grass and many trees.

She then asked, with reverence and awe, "Is that Heaven?"

It was adorable!

Answer 11

My son (2) was sitting in the backseat of the car and was eating poptarts. He bent down to pick up his toy off the seat and set his poptarts on his lap. Then he said "Don't worry Poptarts, i'll eat you in a minute". It was so funny, it was like he didn't want to hurt "their" feelings.

Answer 12

my nephew calls his dad gueg

Answer 13

my niece was about 2 1/2 at the time and would only eat chicken so her parents would give her other things and just tell her it was chicken.ex:steak turkey and things like that well one day i was watching her and had fixed her some chicken nuggets and i had asked if they were good and she said yeah but mommy fixes me nasty chicken!!!.u just had to have been there but it was funny

Answer 14

I work with kids every day and have two of my own. They say some of the funniest things! For example

I was changing a little boys diaper when a little girl about 3 years old asked me why he had a tail??? lol

or

Eating ice cream and the 4 year old said its snowing in my brain... I asked her what she was talking about and she said cause she had a brain freeze! lol

Answer 15

When asked if she wanted a brother or sister, my almost 2 year old said, " I'd rather have a cat."

On the way to daycare, the sun started shining in my daughter's eyes. All of a sudden I hear, " MAMA! Can you PLEASE cut that light off!!".. try explaining to a 22 month old that you can't "turn off" the sun.

My husband told my daughter if she picks her nose, her brain will fall out. While we were visiting my dad, she decided to pick her nose. When my dad asked her what she was doing she said, " Look a there Papaw.. that's my brains." and proceeded to hand him her treasure she dug from her nose.  

Answer 16

While at a family get together the children were sitting in the living room watching a scary movie, when I came in to check on them they were sitting in a circle with their fingers together and their legs indian style-when I asked what they were doing my oldest replied-"Shhh Mom, were "menstruating" Funniest stuff I ever heard!

Answer 17

More dumb, than funny, but I have a cousin who's 14. We live in Orange County/Southern California, and she didn't know where Mexico was relative to us. Or on a map for that matter.

Education system these days...

Answer 18

My family went camping one summer. My aunt was making dinner and she told her 5-year-old son the stir the Kool-Aid. (he has just been playing in the dirt and was completely covered in it) He decided to stick his whole arm in the pitcher and stir with his hand. While my aunt was yelling at him, all the other children in the family were backing him up by saying "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt." As if that weren't funny enough, my 2 or 3-year-old cousin was nearby, and just didn't understand that saying. She replied with "But God made bees and bees hurt".