What's the logic of waiting till marriage to have s*x?

Question

educated ppl who can give me a better reason than "it's god's will" and actually have something to back their answer up with...

if you are a scientist, anthropologist, etc, then you know that it has been PROVEN through skeletal and fossil remains that humans have indeed evolved from chimps. for all you christians out there, there is strong undenying EVIDENCE that this is true. the human s*x drive is more powerful than anything. animals do not care morally about how many partners they mate with, so who is to say that we humans, who evolved from animals and in a sense are animals as well, should care as well? i think it is only natural to have s*x and i think the whole no s*x before marriage concept is crazy. it is wired in the human brain to "spread the seed" or mate to produce offspring. no other species put such a burden on themselves by labeling s*x outside of a monogomous relationship as bad. is we didn't look at s*x that way, ppl wouldn't have such bad notions about it, or be

Answer 1

Count the number of pregnancies which are terminated (abortions), figure out if that life had a choice. then speak to me about logic.

Answer 2

It's an emotion that dates to pre birth-control (as well as poorer) times, and occurred in most cultures in some form. We are a monogamous / polygamous species because that is what it took for children to survive or be socially advantaged. It's got nothing to do with religions, they are just a manipulating a primal instinct. We are definitely not the only monogamous species.

Answer 3

Most people who decide to wait until marriage to have s*x do so for religious convictions, though I have never heard people simply state that it is "God's will," and do have logical reasons to back up their decision aside from their religious beliefs. I know you don't want the religious answer, so here are some of the other reasons:

- Abstinence is the only sure method for preventing sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Pills and condoms don't always work and condoms do not protect against all STD's.

- Saving oneself for only one person makes s*x more of a special bond between two people. Knowing one's spouse has never been with anyone else makes one feel important and worth waiting for, and honestly, who doesn't want to feel that?

- Though many people don't want to admit it, having s*x forms an emotional bond with the other person. "Oxytocin is a chemical released during s*x that researchers link to the powerful bond between men and women."

So there are some reasons aside from the religious ones you didn't want to hear. My source has religious reasons listed, but you can skip that one. I think the 4 other points are pretty logical. Hope this helped!

Answer 4

you have some good ideas, but why word your language as if you are attacking your opponents?  beat them with your rhetoric!

otherwise, i mostly agree.  ya i'm atheist and all but yada yada who cares?  

I just think it's important for the people to have feelings for each other before they s***w (feelings/morality are what separate us from lesser animals).  with stds and all, make sure you have safe s*x with someone you care about

and in regards to the pro-life people, their argument ultimately rests on religion (sanctity of life...what?  these are the same people that went into iraq and caused the deaths of thousands of americans and a million iraqis and for what?  less stability in the region?).  For example, by my moral standards, i would say that if the being can form primitive thoughts and suffer then its wrong to kill it for the benefits of others.  Applying this principle to an abortion, the lil growing embryo can't feel and cant think.  but if we let it develope into a full grown human it could cause lots of suffering.  say the girl is 15 and she has a kid.  how is the family supposed to deal with that and come out alright?  that kid's chances would be slim, why bring him/her into the world?  If every time a girl drops an egg there's an abortion then lemme me kno cuz if you belive that you are crazy

Answer 5

Most things about religion has no logic, in my opinion.

Answer 6

Well, first and foremost are primitive freak-out reactions to female sexuality and virginity. Wearing white on your wedding day is pretty tame compared to genital mutilation or murdering a girl for talking to a man she's not related to.

I believe it was Plato who said that mothers love their children more than fathers do because they are more certain they are theirs. There is really something very basic in the wiring of the male mind that frickin' flips out over the idea that their woman might have slept around - because then they'll be left raising somebody else's offspring. Male chimps will often murder the infant of a new female partner so she is ready to breed again, and they aren't raising somebody else's genes. Check out the statistics on abuse of step-children versus natural children and we're not so much better than the chimps.

But getting beyond some base evolutionary instincts - heterosexual s*x often leads to pregnancy. Pregnancy produces children. Children need to be provided for. Each society has developed their own ways of handling pregnancy and birth, welcoming a child into the society and of deciding what the societal unit is that will raise that child.

It can be a monogamous pair, a polygamous man, even a polyandrous woman. It can involve living on their own, with his family, with her family, and so forth. No matter how it's defined, each society does have some way of deciding a familial unit - and becoming part of such a unit is usually some kind of big deal rite of passage. So, holding off on s*x, a big wedding, gifts from family - these are all ways to make the event and the new phase of life a big deal.

Of course, like most things, this doesn't exactly always work out. Because people enjoy s*x, and it is something we do to share our love, because we're horny, because we're bored or drunk or whatever.

I suppose the logic behind the chastity movement is that it makes your wedding night more "special" (and incredibly awkward, I assume) - and you can be sure that you're both only sharing this moment with each other. But that is absolutely no guarantee of marital happiness or longevity, frankly, and I think people who feel like they missed out on hot s*x are way more likely to get restless as their marriage drags on. And having already had s*x does not sully you for life - it actually puts you pretty much in the norm.

Answer 7

I seem to recall the shoe allegory.

It went: You always try on shoes before you buy them, so why not s*x before marriage?

The reply was "Do you want to buy shoes that everybody in town has worn?"

An issue is s*x for a female always carries the risk of pregnancy. This causes major body changes and has interrupted a number of life plans. of a couple it seems that the female has more to lose and less to gain unless it's in a committed relationship.

When studies have been conducted of the number of s*x partners by gender, the females always report fewer then the males. This is confusing as the number "should be" close to even. Consider: At a dance, males and females dance together. At the end of the night both males and females should report the same numbers. One male can't dance with 10 females unless a similar number is reported by a female(s)

Peer pressure and culture are other factors that push premarital s*x. "Everybody else" has done it. It's difficult to not be forced.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the people involved.  If you feel better about it then by all means wait.  Clearly the drive is there.   I just wanted to comment on the Humans from Chimps since this is poorly understood.  Even though some paleoanthropologist believe that we evolved from Chimps, we actually evolved from a common ancestor.  I think the evidence points to that ancestor be bipedal but that is controversial.  Humans are different from Chimps (more similar to bonobos but still different) in that we have s*x at times when females are not in estrus.  This makes us pretty unique in the animal kingdom.  I suspect that marriage as well as extramarital s*x has been with our species for thousands of generations.  I suspect that much of our modern traditions were developed to promote marriage to keep men and women together longer to better raise children.  It has more to do with that.  When contraception was not practical, abstinence may have been more important to ensure that children had fathers to take care of them in a much more difficult world than modern times.

Answer 9

There really is almost no good logic

Religion doesn't qualify since it's not logic, philosophy, or science.

And tradition mostly stems from religious beliefs.

I'm sure back then it would have helped stem pregnancy. But now we have birth control and condoms.

Anyway, people were always promiscuous. Marriage is not the same as consent when girls are FORCED to marry at early ages.

Answer 10

I take your point that we have indeed evolved from Chimps and they have the need to 'spread the seed', although I am not religious at all I have many friends that are and practice this. Their non religious argument is based on 2 things, if everyone only had s*x when married, there would be a huge decrease in the spread of STI's to the point where they would be controlled. The second point is, as humans evolved from animals, we started building more complicated social relationships which has more to do with trust. If you had six partners before getting married, then you find out that your wife had over 600 different partners, how would you feel? Would you perhaps feel that the love making between the two of you is less special considering how many people she has shared that experience with?

Personally, I am not at all religious, or believe in no s*x before marriage, but what suits me does not always suit others (and visa-versa).

Answer 11

I think that there is no ages limit or marital limit to have s*x, in my opion if you truly love someone , marryed or unmarryed if you truely love someone you can have s*x with them and make love

s***w christians

Answer 12

Well, what they teach us in health class at school is that its so u won't get an STD (sexually transmitted disease) which could kill u so u probably want to be careful bout that.

Answer 13

there is no logic to that idea.  those who wait are just missing out.

Answer 14

Monogamy is actually pretty rare.  Only about 5% of known cultures insist on total monogamy.  Most of them allow polygamy, divorce, or extramarital affairs, at least for some members.  It really depends on the place.

Most cultures do have traditions surrounding mating.  You can't mate with certain people, like with our incest taboos.  In some places, you can't hook up with someone in your village, or you can only hook up with certain people.  Relationships are complicated and really have the potential to be volatile and dangerous to a group's peace and unity.  It makes sense to have _something_.

Abstinence until marriage and monogamy after makes sense within certain contexts, but I think you're right that it doesn't make sense anymore for us.  It evolved in a time when women were considered the property of men, when property passed through the male line, and before reliable, safe contraception.  Back then, people also married relatively early, too.  It made sense to restrict when a woman (men have always had more leeway with the virginity/monogamy thing in our culture) could have s*x and with whom, in order to make sure that her sons were also her husband's sons.  Nowadays, women are their own property, women can _earn_ their own property, and you can leave your stuff to whomever you want.  We also have contraception and paternity tests and we marry later.  This kind of monogamy doesn't work as well now, and we can see that in modern dating and marriage practises.  It'll phase out eventually, I'm sure.

Answer 15

There is no logic in the demand to wait until marriage before having s*x.

Having said that, in our christian dominated society, the punishment for having s*x is having to birth a child.

The whole thing around s*x in the USA, is ignorance and sanctimony.

On the other hand, don't get pregnant and drop a baby just to have s*x. Take elaborate precautions not the least of which is having the boy medically checked before you trust his sanitation.

For all the bible thumpers who insist that a young girl give birth instead of aborting an unwanted baby, not one of them will be around when the kid needs:

a education,

braces,

medical attention,

special medical attention such as with various behavioral and physical conditions.

shopping for food at the grocery.

taking cars of baby while an unwed mother attempts to educate herself and avoid the public dole.

All of our national politicians are on the public dole, by the way, and a few of them actually do a bit of work.

Answer 16

You're right. There's no logic in that. Now let me ask you this question. Would you rather buy a new dress or a used one?

Women were more or less regarded as commodities or men's possessions in the past. In choosing our possessions, we tend to go for the new solid item.

Add: Oh wait, let me clarify. I don't support it. I'm just giving your the possible reason for this practice.

Answer 17

In the past:

- Ensuring that offspring were genetically related to the father

- Preventing pregnancy

- Preventing the transmission of STD's

- Poplulation control (perhaps)

Nowadays:

- Preventing the spread of STD's

The comments above that waiting until one's wedding night somehow make s*x seem more special have no merit.

You feel special because of the way someone treats you and your own self-esteem - in other words, it is a matter of mindset not actual behavior.