What's the probability of a birth parent trying to regain custody?

Question

Husband and I are researching domestic infant adoption (we live in CA). Friends who have adopted have all gone the international route, some voicing concern that this would reduce the likelihood of heartbreak and onerous expense, should a birth parent change his/her mind and sue to regain custody. No one, however, seems to have any actual data about how often this scenario plays out -- they can only point to the occasional high profile case that gets news coverage. Does this happen often, or does it really happen in only a small percentage of adoptions? Are we paranoid because of years of made-for-tv legal dramas over custody? I would greatly appreciate your insights and real life stories.

Answer 1

The most important thing is to make sure EVERYBODY is on the same page...Especially important for the birth parents to know exactly what it means once they terminate their parental rights. Once the papers are signed by all parties, its a closed case. The odds of the birth parents trying to come back because they changed their minds is almost slim to none. And even if they did, chances are they wouldn't succeed

Answer 2

The reason there are no stats on the subject is that the people who would keep those stats are adoption agencies, and they would not want that figure to be known.  Not because it is large, but just because it might scare adoptive parents, and might give birthparents ideas.

It is rare.  Does it ever happen?  Yes.  But there are things you can do to lesson the chances.  Most of the risky situations where a birthmom starts trying to undo an adoption are the following:

No counseling

Teenager

Her family doesn't know about the adoption

She named the wrong birthfather

She named an unknown father, but she knows who he is  

So, how do drastically lessen the chances of a problematic adoption?  Make sure your birthmother has lots of good counseling, is not a teen, her family knows about the adoption and is supportive, and there is a named birthfather willing to sign a Waiver, and you pay for paternity testing and he IS the birthfather!

Answer 3

I don't think you should be worried about that so much. I placed my son with a family I matched with through the adoption agency. His mother knew all the fears I was having about placing him. I even told her that I wanted to raise him, but I knew I couldn't do it right. After my son was born I had 48 hours to sign the paperwork, and after I signed it I would have to sue to regain custody. To be honest, there were many moments where I thought I couldn't do this and I needed my son there with me, but I had made the adoption plan while I was pregnant and I knew that I made the best choice for him. There were times when I'd want to call his mom at 3 in the morning just to make sure he was okay, but logically I knew he was in the best place, so suing for custody would just be selfish. He is now almost 2 and after the initial shock of "MY BABY!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BABY," I knew placing him was still right. Even if I won the lottery and had a well paying job and married the best guy on earth, I would not want to regain custody. He loves his family and they love him, and it sucks but they were prepared for him when I wasn't. It would be completely wrong to give him the gift of that family and rip him away. I placed him because I wanted him to be happy.

I just don't see your average mother who wants the best for her child getting greedy and changing her mind. I also know many girls through the agency that place and are content with the quality of their child's life.

Answer 4

i gave my baby up for adoption and as soon as i signed those papers i wanted to have her back.  i choice i made was for her and that made it just a tad bit easier.  i think all the moms want to keep their children, but know it would be selfish. i  made the right decision and never regret it. as for parents sueing for the baby, i think that is just tv. they can sue all they want, because after they sign the papers, the baby is yours. hope this helps.

Answer 5

Lots of these answers are very helpful, but I wanted to add a couple of points (as background, we have researched the adoption options in our search to adopt as well, so this is what we;ve found). First, in domestic infant adoption, you'll really want to work through an agency with a good reputation. The will be able to guide you through all of the very-normal worries this process brings. Second, that agency must give you a plan for how the parental rights of the birthparents will be terminated. The termination of parental rights is final. However, in most states, there is a grace period in which birthparents may change their minds. In SOME states, that period is 30 days. (In our current state, IL, for example, it is only 3 days! Only 72 hours!) Any reputable agency licensed in CA should be able to tell you the waiting time in CA. After this period passes, parental rights to the baby are ended. Now, there are some problems if the birth father isn't known, is claimed to not be known, or has not been found. A reputable licensed agency, again, should be able to clearly spell out to you what the plan is for either finding the birthfather or ending his parental rights in absentia and how long this process may take. We worked with 2 licensed IL agencies who shared the statistic with us that between 25-33% of birthmothers change their mind during the final stages of their pregnancy, right after delivery, or after TPR (termination of parental rights) papers are signed but during the legal waiting time (of 72 hours in IL). This means that about 1/3 of matches between adoptive parents and birthmothers fall through. Again, we only have information from these 2 agencies, but both were licensed & have a great reputation in our state. Neither of them ever expressed any cases where the TPR happened and it was later overturned.

Now for the international case --- by definition of the US Immigration, in order to adopt intercountry, the child must be an "orphan" and, therefore, already have parental rights terminated. So, this issue is out of the picture.    

Hope that helps clarify a little.

Edit: Wow! I found a typo & corrected it: 1/3 of matches don't work, but 2/3 of pre-birth matches (usually done in final trimester) DO!!!

Answer 6

In our case, we adopted a infant 7 weeks after birth.  The birth mother ran out of the hospital after he was born.  They tried everything they could to contact family and the bio-parents because technically we we only fostering him at that point.  Once the county/courts had enough, they ordered termination of parental rights.  That pulled ANY recourse they may ever have to regaining custody of him.  He is now adopted by us and records are sealed.  SS# have been changed and there is NO way the bio parents can EVER regain or even petition for custody.  It's like we gave birth to him.  Only God can take him back.  Check with your local county adoption agency.  They can give you more infor and answer questions more in depth.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

The reason the few cases are noteworthy and make it to the news is because it happens so rarely. If everything is done by the book, meaning consents are signed without duress or coercion, that the father has been informed and consented as well (in fact I would not even enter into a situation where the father is listed as "unknown", too much risk) all expenses are paid within the legal framework, etc. then it's almost impossible to contest.

Most cases that are contested were not properly handled.

Question your agency on the steps they take to ensure everything is legal and above board.

Answer 8

the bio parent has 30days to change their mind from the time they give the child up.  You have to go to a court hearing and once that is done they can do all the sueing they want and nothing will happen

Answer 9

1 IN 20000 MILLION.