What's the problem with this?

Question

Not in a horrible way though...

If i feel down/upset/hopeless etc,etc a lot of the time and nothing gets better...no matter how hard i try or what i do. If everything is pretty unstable and to make things better i reckon things would have to get a lot worse first.

I've realised today that i have no one that really cares about me. It's all fake, for show. Can't explain this but i know i'm right here...

There is an answer to this though. I've taken MDMA before and was happier than ever, it was like the things which caused me pain all just went away. I know there are risks to this...but the way i see it is that if i die i die. You know, i'd rather live only one more year drugged up and happy than a whole life living the way i am now.

Noone cares about me so noone would be hurt. So you can't call me selfish and when i do die i'd give my money to a good cause and leave eveything i own to charities etc.

To me this plan seems flawless. Noone looses out.

Is there a problem? It seems like everything is covered. I even have a little money saved up which i could use so wouldn't need to worry with work anymore.

Answer 1

You would loose out. Most of what you are going through is all in your head, seriously. I hear what you are saying, I've been there, I go there on my bad days. But what I've realized is I have to control those depressing thoughts the second they enter my head. I have to consciously deny them because I know even though I don't feel loved, I am loved.

Why not try to give your time to other people? Try volunteer work. I bet you know a bunch of people who are less fortunate than you are? Be that happy, loving person you are looking for.

Here's a quote for you:

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”

~Bob Moawad

Answer 2

Why not actually deal with the problem and live a whole good life?

Seek professional help. It may be that prescribed, rather than potentially deadly, drugs will help; maybe that therapy will.

Instead of giving up without trying the most reasonable thing first, get help. This isn't the sort of thing that will go away by itself, or that you can fix yourself.

Answer 3

You are suffering from severe depression and that is probably what caused you to turn to drugs.  You cannot get rid of this yourself.  There are plenty of safe medications that work.  You are a decent good person and do not deserve to feel this way.  You need immediate help.  Call information and ask for your local crisis line they can help you and refer you for help.  Go to an emergency room, I'm serious and discuss how you are feeling.  Please do something now.

When you are depressed you are unable to love or like yourself and you feel that others don't like you either.  You feel that you don;t deserve to be loved.  You have lost the energy to deal with this and it is dangerous.  Please call a psychiatrist make an appointment or the other options I have mentioned.  You do not deserve to feel like this>  I will be thinking about you!!!!!

Answer 4

Sweetie, Listen to me...You don't want to do this...I know it feels like everything is going wrong, but you have to be strong...Look to your future. Drugs are not the answer. There are people who care about you and love you, your family and your friends...You are just depressed and everything just feels that way to you right now...We all care about you too....I care about you, and I would like to get to know you..Would you please email me.?????..I would really love to talk to you some more...!!!!! You know, I know these feelings that you are talking about....it won't always be like this...things will get better for you...you have to try...don't give up on yourself, you have your whole life ahead of you...I know that it sounds so cliche, but it is true...tomorrow is a new day...don't let these feelings make you regret something that tomorrow you wished you had not done.  You just never know what is waiting for you right around the very next corner...Your happiness, your dreams, someone very special in your life, children......whatever your dream is.....give it every opportunity, every chance to come true for you...You are soooooo worth it sweetheart...Make plans for your future...not plans to do something hurtful to yourself.....You have to start thinking positively...replace the negative self-talk......Tell yourself that you are a good person, that you work hard at doing the right things, that you want to live your life to help others and to make the best possible life for yourself...Set some goals for yourself and make a list of all of the positive things about yourself...I am sure you could write pages and pages of them....Please, reach out to someone.....call a close friend, call a help line, call 911, go to an emergency room...whatever it takes.....We all want to help you and support you any way that we can....Email me..I will listen....(((((((HUGS)))))...Linda