What's the proper punishment for a 3 year old?

Question

My son is overall a really good child compared to other children I have seen. But he has been very curious lately and getting into EVERYTHING. Child proof stuff doesn't even work for him, he is so dang smart and knows how to open child proof bottle caps even!! But normally it's smaller stuff and not that extreme. Spankings and time-outs don't really work anymore. He will go right back to doing it a few hours later. I feel like he is just in 'destucto' mode. I would send him outside more to get more energy out, but since I live in phoenix, it's impossible to send him out during any daylight in the summer. So I am just wondering if someone out there has a new or different approch to this. I am sure I am not the only one out there with a destructvie 3 year old!! :)

Answer 1

Maybe if you keep him busy, he won't get into stuff. If that doesn't work, I'd just put him in time out. I know you said it doesn't work anymore, but if you just keep on doing it, he might stop. I have a cousin who's three and she is always standing on her couch even though she knows she's not supposed to. What I do when I'm babysitting is put her in time out for about 5 minutes. Then, I talk to her about why she was put in timeout and ask her if she's going to do it again and then ask for an apology. She normally doesn't do it again. The next time I babysit her, if she stands on the couch, I'll ask her if she remembers what happened last time and she won't stand on the couch.

Answer 2

take away something he really likes or enjoys doing for awhile.

theres no use reasoning with a 3 year old, but tell him why you are taking it away anyway.

he'll soon connect that when you say NO it means no. and if he does it anyway, his favorite toy/game/activity gets taken away.

but keep in mind he is a child. and children will be children

Answer 3

i have a 3 yr old son. and he is very hyper. and what i do to keep him busy is to play games. like painting,treasure hunts, he even helps me bake cookies. they just like to feel useful sometimes, let him help you clean and cook.then tell him what a good job he did. it works for my kid.

Answer 4

he's curious. you have to let him learn, and to stop him from getting into all your stuff, have him get into educational stuff he'd like to learn. take him to the zoo, aquarium, etc.

Answer 5

Sounds like you are already on the right track of knowing that he needs more stuff that he CAN get into.  Fort builiding inside, anything like marshmellows and toothpicks, an RC car.  Things that may not be exercise, but stimulate the mind.  Also, for indoor exercise, some times TV shows like Yo Gabba and the Wiggles are good for that, even can do hide and seek at that age.

As for the discipline, google things like Positive Parenting.

Answer 6

It sounds like you are doing the right things.  The key is to keep doing them, even if you are frustrated or tired.

Yes, you will get criticism for any type of physical discipline, but I do think it is appropriate to swat for things that can cause the child harm--and getting into prescription bottles is definitely something that could hurt him badly.  That has to be dealt with firmly and immediately.  

I have a lot of kids and they go through cycles of being more obedient, then they start disobeying a lot.  When they start the disobedience cycle, you have to be on top of it right away, by making it unpleasant for them to continue the behavior.  It can be doing something they don't like (swats, time-outs) or taking away something they like.  Those choices are yours, but the main thing is to be consistent.  Try to catch them every time, right away.  If they don't get rewarded for bad behavior, they usually won't continue it for long.  Make sure you catch them being good, too, and give liberal hugs and praise for that.

Answer 7

It's really not appropriate to spank a child - so young too -some would call it child abuse though I'm sure that's not what you intended. Whatever - your responses to him in the past may have set him up into his behaviour now. Some children feel the only way they can have attention and feel loved is through bad behaviour even if your response is negative ,to them it's better than no interaction at all.

I really reccommend you get some professional advice and put aside time where you are just there to give your son positive attention every day and praise him when he does things well. Praise is really important. You should see an improvement after a while but if there are still problems, to read some books on parenting.

Answer 8

There is a lot of evidence out there to support your observation that spankings and time-outs don't work because they end up giving the child negative attention--and since misbehavior is usually an attempt to get attention, you are rewarding the behavior.  I recommend you search the web for "time-ins" and "gentle discipline."  Its a whole new way to approach things. There are some good books you can get from the library, "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"  by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn. The first one is really easy quick reading. The second one is longer, but worth it.

Another easy place to go is Mothering magazine discussions.  People there have a lot of experience and a lot of good ideas. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/for...

Answer 9

First, let me just say that putting a 3yr old in a playpen is probably not a good idea only because they are almost certainly past the weight limit and therefore it would not be safe.  But I agree with the general idea of boring the child. However, it seems this would be another form of time out which the original poster said no longer works.

Figuring out what "privilege" to take away at this age can be very tricky. Some things will bother some children and not bother others. It's going to take some detective work on your part.  Once you've figured it out, definitely use that to your advantage. (Just a note:  When warranted we've even canceled family outings because that is what my son loves most. Be willing to be inconvenienced when necessary.)

Beyond the discipline issue, I think you should consider encouraging his destructive curiosity. No. I'm not crazy. :-D Find a corner of your house and mark off a smallish space somehow (a baby gate would be great, but if you don't have one like that , get creative). Fill this space with things he can totally destroy with abandon! For example: old magazines, toys from the cereal box, cleaned out milk cartons, tissue paper, cotton balls (kids love un-sticking these), even old shoes he can unlace and old purses full of misc items he can empty out and pull apart. Just keep clear rules that these items stay in that area. After a day of fun destruction have him help you clean up his destructo zone and the next day he can do it again. This way he gets to exercise his destructive curiosity and your house (hopefully) won't suffer for it.

Also, we're looking into a construction set for our little "fix it" man. Those have good parts to put together and take apart again. Just make sure whatever you give him is "safe" choking wise and ALWAYS supervise his play.

Since you can't go out during the day, consider trying a backyard campout. It doesn't take a ton of planning, you  can always go back inside if it's "too scary" (or he's just too excited to sleep outside) and it can be really fun.

Another night time activity- hide a bunch of his smaller animal toys (like plastic figures) around your yard in a way that's appropriate for his seeking skills. Then take a pair of flashlights and go on a "nighttime safari". Try to find all the hidden animals with your flashlights. Toddlers LOVE this!

Regarding the safety locks being outsmarted. Been there. Try different (less convenient) safety devices and/or doubling up on them to at least slow him down and give you a chance to catch him in the act. Also I'm sure you've already done this but since he is so gifted at opening things make SURE you keep everything that could be harmful way up high (medicine cabinet & cleaning supplies esspecially)!

Hope that helps!

Answer 10

Just be consistent. At this age, there's no miracle technique that will suddenly make them little angels! Even if he goes back to it 2 hours later, use the same discipline, time after time, after time. He'll eventually get it! I know, it's exhausting. We are dealing with getting our 2 yr. old to sleep in a big girl bed right now!

One idea I heard was "Baby Jail". Sounds terrible, but it's basically putting them in a Pack-n-play for a little while with nothing to do except be bored and wish they hadn't done whatever it was they were told not to do! At 3 years old, he'll HATE being put in a baby playpen!

It could work.  Good luck, whatever you do. :)