What's the proper way to respond to a coworker telling you this?

Question

A guy told my friend this. "I don't believe your mom died. You just typed up a fake obituary just to get out of work!"

& she's been hurt & depressed about it ever since. He told her this last yr. Her mom died 8/15/07. He told her that a few days later.

She's still sad & grieving. How do I comfort her?

Answer 1

Harassment is illegal. Have her tell her supervisor. No one should have to work under those conditions.  By the sounds of this man's behavior--her complaint may not be the first. The company will be better off without a moron like that in the ranks.

As far as her mother's passing, there is no way to speed the healing process. At some point she will be able to look back and smile at pleasant memories--until then, she has a good friend like you who can be there for her.

If your friend were not a lady, she could tell this moron where to go...but that might just fuel the situation.

Answer 2

Tell the guy the story is true.

Answer 3

I'd tell him to go --  --  --  --  himself.  And that word is not in my vocabulary.

Answer 4

The guy is a douche.

Its too late to really do anything about his behavior, but you can be comforting for your friend.  Just let her talk and be the one to listen.

Answer 5

Report his A** to HR or bring up a lawsuit if something is not done.

Answer 6

I would go with her to her boss or to the President of the company and tell them what is going on. No one should have to put up with this kind of abuse at work.

Answer 7

That's a very hurtful thing for someone to say, but it happened a year ago.  Unless he's still bringing it up your friend should either get over it or confront him about it.  Chances are the guy had a bad day and didn't realize the gravity of what he said, or he is a horrible piece of skum.  

As for her mum's death, I doubt she'll get over that anytime soon.  Just be there for her, hug her, and get her to smile.  Talk to her about her mum if she's ok doing so.  

Answer 8

Tell her that next time he says it, she should calmly and confidently tell him "Then please, take the issue to the boss. Tell on me. It was a year ago, and if you still don't believe me, prove I'm wrong or let it go." She needs to defend her integrity from this ridiculous onslaught. Any boss would agree her. At the very least, she will feel better because she stood up for herself.

Answer 9

Get a audio recording of him saying these things.  My phone will do audio recording.

Then have her go though the correct chain of command (management) in her company and get him fired.

She can honestly say that he is interfering with her healing process and is causing a loss to her productivity which affects the company.

Answer 10

Tell her that if she needs to talk about her mother that you are there to listen. Sometimes it will help the grieving person if they are just able to talk about the person that they are missing. As for her insensitive coworker there is not much that she can do. Most states have a law now that state they can only accept obituaries from funeral homes. To many people have tried the fake ones for them to just accept it from out of nowhere. If he is truly still bugging her about it she needs to report him to the supervisor.