What's this Irony? Do men like confident women or insecure women?

Question

some men say they like confident women but I noticed if a woman is very confident and looks very independent, has very high self-esteem, men feel inferior or sort of threatened. And, they prefer women who are insecure because it makes them feel superior and stronger and easier to get laid? What is the truth?

Answer 1

Strong confident to many women is condecending arrogance.

Amoung other women it may look like confidence. To men it doesnt.

Yet we see plenty of women that dont understand how men have a problem with her confidence. If we cross that line - we get unattractive, why should it differ for women?

Confident can be s**y - even seductive. All she has to do is be confident and simply use it in her expressions towards him.

Same as for him to her I believe.

Insecure women - lol - na if ... trust me if they are attractive at all - its cos it plays on that part of man that wants to protect or rescue. Many men pick up on it early and walk off before even conversation happens.

The guys that do - many of them may go in to help, pickup on the drama dynamic mistake it for passion and she may invite them close enough for the drama and sexual dynamic to get lusty and fun .... However - it gets obvious and fast that this girl is not worth the effort. She just isnt relationship material.

Got the picture? Good - be balanced and confident not an insecure bag of drama or an arrogent bag of drama. Just be.

Mike T makes an excellent point too.

We are often more interested in her being a good partner or not.

Answer 2

Here's the answer to your question. To attract a man, or to be more attractive to a man you hope to be with, you want to be more concerned about acting 'feminine' than whether or not you are confident or insecure. When a man has a strong attraction to you, he isn't going to give a d**n whether you're confident or insecure. He wants you to show that very feminine desire to be taken care of. Let him open doors for you and let him pay for dates.

Here's the other thing. Be hard to get. Don't let a man go to second or third base until the fourth date. Make him wait until after the second date, to go to first base. Most decent men, don't want the women they date to be too easy. Nature's game is for men to have a lot of pent-up lust and to want to score, and for women to not give it up easily which causes men to have to work harder to prove themselves to the women in order to get to make love. Women are always testing men, and men need to prove themselves to be good protectors and providers who are going to be able to remain committed to the woman they are interested in.

I wish that dating were more simple than it is, but it isn't, and we all have to find a way to deal with things the best way we can. Follow my advice and you'll weed out the guys who are just looking to score, and you'll save money by having them drive you around and pay for dates. Since any man you marry is going to be paying for the lion's share of your expenses when you get married, he may as well get used to paying for you now while you're dating.

Answer 3

I think men want a confident woman, but not a overly confident woman. Women look for the same thing in confidence.

Answer 4

Only a weak man will fear a strong woman.

Answer 5

Heh, I like aggressive, feisty, independent and confusing women. Basically alpha females.  

Answer 6

we don't care either way, its up to them

Answer 7

yea right

i have only found one woman of what you describe and she is my best friend.  

I wish i could find one in which we had dating as our interests *sigh*

Answer 8

I pretty much would prefer a woman who was confident within her herself.

Answer 9

We don't care.

A woman's "strength" and "independence" and "confidence".. is not usually on the list of qualities men look for.

We are more interested in her personality, interests, experiences and her ability to be a good partner.

It's WOMEN who are so obsessed with all this "strength" and "independence" stuff. You know why? Because they foolishly think that men judge women by the same criteria that women judge men. WE DON'T.

We don't care and we never have.

Answer 10

There is a line between confident and arrogant.  The same one that when men cross women find unattractive.

Answer 11

The truth is that men like women who are confident but want to help them when they are vulnerable because it shows another side to the woman. Its a turn on for the guy; just like when girls like to see the guy with no shirt on. I hope that this helped:)

Answer 12

The marriages that exclude competition of their contribution to the union have a greater success ratio than those marriages that have competive partners.  Insecure males seek females who are non-confident.  Insecure males also represent the greatest ratio of domestic violence.  Getting laid?  Are you kidding.  Secure sexully active females are also reproductively responsible.  Insecure males also avoid sexual responsibility for their children.  Women should not settle for these losers.    

Answer 13

Men who are confident and assured of themselves have no problem with women who are the same.  

Answer 14

The truth is that men don't know what they want.

Answer 15

Do women like confident men or insecure men?

Doesn't the question sound stupid this way?

Answer 16

I like women who are confident but not arrogant. I also like the confidence to be real confidence not some false bravado.

And what's so wrong with a wife being dependent on her husband or a husband being dependant on his wife?

This whole independant thing is played out it was redculous then and it is now. Marriages and families should be dependant on each other member of the family.

Answer 17

Of course men would prefer a confident woman.  Men would prefer to date a supermodel too.  Like most people (men and women) most men prefer to cast their dice with women they know they have a chance with.  They settle for the insecure women for fear that the confident women have something to be confident about and might reject them.  Everyone settles sometimes.