What's with people having a third and fourth child with their "boyfriend"?

Question

I understand that unexpected pregnancies happen, but you would think that when you get to the third one you would have gotten around to getting married. Do people not get married anymore? Reason I ask is I've been answering on baby names and there are tons of posts like that.

Answer 1

But what does getting married really change?  It just makes it so a woman has a legal right to your stuff.

Answer 2

My mother and father were married when I was born.But  as long as I can remember they have been divorced...before I was a year old. Just b/c you're married doesn't mean you will be better parents. Being married doesn't mean you are more committed to your boyfriend/girlfriend nor does it mean you care about your children more. All marriage is is benefits on.Taxes and other things of that matter. That's all. Your kids don't care unless you teach them differently they just want to be loved!My mom took care of me my whole life and my dad was always there when I needed him and that's what matters .Its about living your life the way you want to live it. Why be married just because people like you think you should be married? Different people do things differently. All my friends are unmarried and have children I would never look at them differently.

I mean having a wedding to celebrate your love is nice. Poor people probably don't want to do that, like me. I work at subway sandwich for gosh sake!  and going to the court house just proves that all marriage is is a piece of paper.

That's only my opinion

Answer 3

Why should feel the need to get married?? 2 outta 3 marriages end in divorce.  I personally am in no hurry to get married, its only a bit of paper, don't need that to prove you love someone.

Answer 4

Does it really matter, as long as they are good parents to their children. Whats the big deal about marriage anyways, nothing changes. It's just a bit of paper.

Answer 5

It's called common-law marriage.  Lots of people opt for it because it's a lot less legal hassle if it doesn't work out and it's a lot less financial in cost!  I know lots of people that raise families without being married.  I wanted to be married before I had any of my children and that's what my husband wanted too.  People have to do what they want and feel comfortable with.  In old times people that got married did so to show off how wealthy they were by giving away dowrys or animals or gifts to the other family, usually the woman's to the man.  Poor people that wanted to have a family together usually just moved in and started to have kids.  It's a part of life that will never really die.  I don't have a problem with it and I don't judge those that do it.  It's their life and their choice and their business.

Answer 6

My boyfriend and I will be TTC as soon as I ovulate this month. We already have an amazing son that is almost 3. We started dating when I was 15 and we've been together for four years.

Marriage is important to us but we don't want to get married RIGHT NOW. Just because we have a child doesn't mean he wasn't conceived out of as much love as a married couples child.

I don't think being married automatically makes you a better parent either.  

We plan on getting married fall of '09. I'll just be finishing school and graduating with a nursing degree.

Answer 7

not every one wants to get married and does it make you better parents just having that piece of paper/

i cant see anything wrong with having as many kids you want with your boyfriend(Partner)

Answer 8

I don't understand that myself.  If you love them enough to keep having s*x and kids then why do you not love each other enough to get married.

Answer 9

If your talking about the Uk you can get more benefits from the system if your not married.

If your not married you can claim that the 'boyfriend' doesn't live with you and claim as a single mother, if your married you can't do that.

More kids = more money in this country. I have a neice who wont get married for that reason and that reason alone

Answer 10

In my opinion those people are married. It doesn't take a piece of paper or a judge/pastor/priest to say that you are married. If you have sexual relations with someone then in God's eyes you have become one. Most people don't view it as that though and to me it just shows a fear of commitment. I knew one lady who was with a man for 54 years and never married him, who knows why. I think it's ridiculous.  

Answer 11

I think in today's society it is more acceptable and more common than it use to, to not be married and have children.  I know a few women who have no partners at all, but plan or already have children.  And then there are the families with two moms/dads or step parents and siblings. Not many families today are considered "traditional".  It seems to be a growing trend.  I feel as long as the child has a home where it can be supported financially and emotional, so what.  To each, it's own.

Answer 12

some people don't want to get married its there choice to get married or not to get married...

Answer 13

it's ridiculous.

especially if you have that many kids.

my sister did that. she made it to 3.

but, all 3 have different fathers.

i'm guilty of having s*x before marriage once, but i'm not pregnant, & i don't have mini me's running around,.

Answer 14

i dont even want to get married. if it works then who care. like they say if its not broke dont fix it

Answer 15

People don't seem to want the commitment of marriage anymore. They think it is easier to just live with someone.  But my opinion on this is, it's not a complete commitment unless you get married.  

Answer 16

I don't think it's any of your business!

Answer 17

Some people just don't want to get married because of their beliefs. If they love each other and are together and having kids, what does it really matter ? Times are changing and some of the time those pregnancies aren't unexpected. I know a couple who planned to have a baby before even talking about marriage. It just wasn't their thing and it definately works for them.

Answer 18

I fell the same way its only right to get married,espacally if its your 3rd or 4th kid see i want 6 kids and i have one now with my fiance we are getting married september 27 of this year YAAAAAAA!!!! im so excited.