What's worse, Being ugly and ignored or good looking and having unwanted attention ?

Question

What's worse, Being ugly and ignored or good looking and having unwanted attention ?

Answer 1

I can answer this because I've been both.

I went through my "awkward" stage during middle school...I was chubby, wore glasses, and my mother kept insisting on giving me HORRIBLE home perms.

Before my freshman year of high school, I lost weight, grew two inches, got contacts, and finally rebelled against my mother's well-intentioned, but sorely misguided, beauty treatments. Being 5'7, 125 lbs with a c-cup and blond (finally non-frizzy) hair WILL get you noticed in high school. But my experiences as a "homely" girl made me see the attention for what it really was. It had nothing to do with ME, it was based solely on how I looked. And I didn't want to be liked for no other reason besides what I had to offer physically.

So, the answer is that BOTH suck. Because women are valued for very little else besides their physical appearance in our society, they are treated accordingly.

Answer 2

Being ugly and ignored is worse. Those are the ones that call them selves feminist. Answer mine please.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

I would rather be ugly and ignored. I'm not a particularly outgoing person nor am I someone who is desperate for attention so being bothered this way would really freak me out.

Answer 4

I've been both. (OK, I was ignored, but I was never ugly. Just short.) Being good-looking with unwanted attention made me angry, but I got over it soon enough. Being ignored was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. By high school, I resolved that it would never happen again. It didn't.

Answer 5

Being ugly and ignored is worse because there isn't a whole lot you can to to improve the situation, besides plastic surgery.

But being good-looking is something that can be disguised, and although the attention that comes with it is unwanted, it is complimentary and there are much worse things to be than attractive.

Answer 6

My guess is that they are equally frustrating for different reasons.  

How about just being happy with who you are?

Answer 7

Being ugly and ignored is a lot worse, but unwanted attention is annoying too.

Answer 8

Depends on the type of person, I would rather be ignored.

Answer 9

ugly

Answer 10

Being ignored never bothered me that much, and I do just fine, if all you have is your looks to attract people you have much bigger problems.

Answer 11

There has been study after study on how thinner, more attractive people not only get more respect, their ideas are taken more seriously, and they get better, higher paying jobs. It's easy to say "don't judge a book by its cover", but the truth of the matter is that humans will naturally gaze upon what is appealing to them, aka beauty, aka looking at good looking people. I'm sorry it sounds so harsh. It's true.  We assume that good looking people have more positive qualities. We might assume that a s**y man has a great job, he's honest, he's a good father, etc. On the flip side, if we perceive someone as "ugly", we might assume they are dishonest or rude.

I would rather be attractive and have unwanted attention. I've never had a cat call I couldn't deal with, a crude comment I couldn't ignore, or a pick up line I couldn't laugh at. Attention I can handle. Being ugly and ignored, I could not handle.

If you don't feel like looking at my sources, this one is from CNN. It basically sums up everything I wanted to say (and more) about this topic:

"Good-looking men and women are generally judged to be more talented, kind, honest and intelligent than their less attractive counterparts," Patzer says. "Controlled studies show people go out of their way to help attractive people -- of the same and opposite s*x -- because they want to be liked and accepted by good-looking people."

Answer 12

Both have drawbacks, but the first is worse because not only are you lonely, but you are also faced with the incredible shallowness of human nature.

Answer 13

Being ugly and ignored. That's like asking if it's better to be loved or not loved. I don't like either of the options, but the first is much worse.

Answer 14

Depends....

Ugly women with good personality aren't ignored.

Answer 15

I'm predicting most people would say being ugly and ignored, but I'm voting it is worse to be good looking & having unwanted attention.

My reasoning is this: if you attract all kinds of attention because of it, it's very easy to get an inflated ego, become arrogant, and look down on other people.  None of these are things I admire in people, and you would become uglier in my eyes no matter how beautiful you may look.

A good-looking person can fall into the trap of thinking that's the most important & valuable thing about them.  And if their appearance changes - from an accident that deforms their face/body, from chemo after a cancer diagnosis, a pregnancy, etc - what do they have left?

Also, we spend enormous amounts of time, energy, and money trying to prevent it, but the truth is: we don't remain good-looking forever.  Like flowers, we can bloom, but with time, we will show the effects of aging and become less physically attractive.  Not a happy thought for most of us, but ignoring it doesn't change reality.

On the other hand, being ugly does not mean we are destined to always be ignored.  If we disprove of how we look, there are practical things we can do to improve our appearance.  We can also gain attention in ways not related to beauty and will not fade away with time.  Mother Theresa or Merryl Streep will never win any beauty contests, but they are known the world over for their compassion and talent.

The wise person understands, in the long run, whether one is physically beautiful, ugly, or in-between doesn't make very much difference.  It is more important to be beautiful in other ways, and allow that to attract attention instead.

Answer 16

Quit ignoring me.

Answer 17

Attractive and having unwanted attention... The only women who want this attention and tell girls they should like it are the ones either uncomfortable with the aging process and the fact no men look at them and the ones with low self esteem who spend too much money trying to look attractive that they are offended if the dog doesn't sniff their crotch.

Edit: As for know it alls comment... I have this to say I am a feminist I am attractive and a lot of women I know are so offended by the unwanted attention they purposely gain weight as to be unattractive to others.  The truth though is these women have great self esteem they just don't care what others think and don't want to deal with it.

As I have said I know what I look like and I don't need a man to compliment me to make me feel better unless I am married to him.  Compliments in public that I hate are based on my physical appearance I was born this way.  Compliments in public I don't mind is on my jewelry, clothes, or my tattoo's...

Edit: Hey Ronnie I wish being a feminist got you ignored...IT DOESN'T!

Answer 18

Being ugly is brutal. However I wouldn't know, muwah!