What's wrong with being Angry?

Question

When I came to this web site I asked why people were so angry. I have since learned that there are some pretty good reasons people have for being angry.

So, why is anger considered such a bad thing? Anger motivates people to change, to reflect, to communicate. As long as it isn't destructive, anger can be positive.

As someone who doesn't feel this anger about my adoption, I'm curious why so many are so defensive about this.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with being angry. But when someone uses it to degrade or insult a person, that is where it is uncalled for.  That is where I get angry at... to have someone say they are oh so happy then refer to slitting wrists to make fun of adoptees who say they have issues, is when i get angry.

Answer 2

anger is an emotion which represents your dislike for something

but at the same time your mind does not work in full control so it could cause trouble so it is better to just know when you are angry about something that you do not like it and then calm down and think of something that could be done to change it

Answer 3

Not a darned thing.  Anger has been part of the fuel to address many positive changes in our laws and society.  The suffragettes won the right to vote for women.  Blacks won the right to end legalized so-called "separate but equal" facilities.  g*y and L*****n groups are attaining more rights.  All of these groups, just like adopted persons, have no say in the trait that has been the excuse for discrimination and unequal treatment under the law for them.  Many people are thankful for those who saw the injustice and used their anger to make positive changes.  

Adopted citizens, along with many natural and adoptive parents, should not be discounted for trying to regain the equal access laws they once enjoyed.  Nor should they be discredited for trying to open the eyes of others to the problems that exist in the adoption process and laws, so that they might help to better adoption for everyone involved in it.

Answer 4

anger sucks...

Answer 5

I think anger is a passionate emotion.  As you correctly point out, it can be a wonderfully powerful motivator.  However, anger feeds on itself, and takes great effort to maintain at passionate levels.  It is an isolating emotion.  And when you are angry, that is many times the only thing that the others with which you attempt to communicate can see or hear.  Your message gets lost behind the entertainment value of watching you ¨lose it.¨

I prefer to (try to) maintain a more constructive frame of mind.  I am passionate about my beliefs, but still willing to listen to others.  When angry, I can only hear myself.  I want to keep myself open to newer, better ideas.  As much as I would like to believe that I know best about everything, rationally I know that is not true.  There are many people smarter than I am.  I think there is strength in numbers.  Numbers is the only way were will ever effect real change or reform concerning adoption.  No one is going to listen to us if all we do is rave.

Answer 6

Nothing.

You're right,  and thanks for being open-minded enough to 'look' at what people are frustrated about.

As a born & bred American, I believe this is an American issue.  We, as a country like happy endings, and have fostered as a culture, an optimistic attitude.  We're raised on Hollywood, and rags-to-riches stories.  If adoption 'seems' all good, than it is, and many Americans don't want to acknowledge that much about adoption is wrong.  

Other Western countiries, like New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom have already addresses these very issues.  

This attitude can be an incredible asset, usless it obscures obvious problems.   When it comes to adoption in the U.S., most aren't willing to examine that adoption in it's current form, does damage.

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with anger. It's the result of being hurt by something or someone. It's part of healing. Some people remain angry their whole life b/c they don't know how to deal with the hurt that is eating at them. Some people get help and deal with it.

And you're right.... anger motivates. It motivates you to change something. To express other feelings. To communicate.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong wtih being angry about your own situation.  People who are angry have to process their own feelings.  When they start to get angry and call adoptive parents greedy, then a line is crossed.

As with all things, it is how you deal with you anger that is important.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with being angry.  It's an emotion just like all the rest.  People who don't get angry sometimes freak me out.  They act like they don't have any emotions at all.

Answer 10

THere is nothing wrong with it.  I just seems to me that that certain adopters and natural parents come here and see angry adoptees and it hits too close to home.  Perhaps they haven't done such a wonderful thing after all??  RUBBISH!  These stupid adoptees who all feel the same way must all be lying!  They are just a pack of n**i's that have a personal vendetta against me the ap, pap!!  

My point is, some people just can't stand to hear the truth.  Why else would they get so angry and vulgar towards us?  What the reality is, we could care less about AP's PAP's personally, we just want to get the truth out there.  I NEEDS to be known and I believe if it wasn't a big deal we wouldn't be met with such strong opposition.

Answer 11

there is nothing wrong with being angry but there is something wrong with WHATEVER continuously being a prick and refering to me in every answer she writes. She wants to get her facts straight

Answer 12

Anger leads to hate.

Hate leads to suffering.

Answer 13

Anger is not necessarily wrong- but what is wrong about anger is the way in which we handle it. There are many reasons, here in this site, and in life that can cause anger, and even rightful anger- however, when that anger turns to insulting people because they believe differently than you are when we retaliate at the person that we are angry at, then it becomes wrong.  Anger used in a constructive way, can bring about change, as you say- but as soon as anger leads to revenge or hatred- then anger has turned to something that is not positive.

Answer 14

There is nothing wrong with being angry if it motivates people to change, to reflect, and to communicate.  When it is used to take out frustrations on others who have a different opinion, then it becomes a problem.  I think many claim to not be angry or bitter on this site but they continue to lash out at others who have a different opinion.   If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck......it must be a duck!