What's wrong with me? Please help.?

Question

For the past 4 years i've been suffering from depression. I'm only 16.

My parents split up when i was 9 because my mom cheated and left. Because of my dads full time job, my older sister became more of a 'mom' and looked after the house and me and my younger sister.

When i was 12 my older sister moved out.

I was sexually assaulted at a new years party when i was 13.

I was sexually assaulted again when walking through town when i was 15.

My dad hit me when i was 15, although we have a good relationship now.

My stepdad hit me about 6 months ago.

My boyfriend of 2 years started hitting me about 3 months ago.

Some days i feel like i'm on top of the world. I feel beautiful and clever and really optimistic about the future. But at the same time my heads usually racing and i find it really difficult to think straight and it feels like my brains in turbo mode. I can sleep for like 3 or 4 hours and wake up feeling totally refreshed and full of energy, but at the same time, sometimes i can go through days of sleeping from 11pm til like 3pm or 4pm in the afternoon and still feel constantly tired and sluggish.

I have really really bad moodswings where one minute i'm all lovey and full of compliments and being nice to everyone (cooking tea, making people coffees, doing some cleaning for dad) and then i can quickly change in a matter of seconds to smashing things and screaming and snapping at people. Sometimes it gets so bad where i start to self-harm (always on my leg, the only person who knows is my long-term boyfriend) and i smashed up the kitchen once.

I regularly go through phases of sitting and crying for hours on end and thinking about ending my life because i don't see anything good in the future. I've attempted suicide once, overdosing on a lots of paracetemol and cough syrup. Ended up unconcious being nursed by my boyfriend and waking up the next morning will a h**l of a hangover and being really run down for a couple of weeks.

Not many people know about how i feel. I'm not an attention seeker and tend to keep things to myself. The fact that the moodswings are resorting to me cutting myself is what scares me and is why i am finally seeking help because i don't want to die but i'm scared that one day i'm going to take it too far.

What should i do?

What's wrong with me?

Answer 1

wow. maybe you should go to a doctor and get antidepressants, or whateverhe thinks would be best

Answer 2

I suggest that you see a qualified medical practitioner about the mood swings, the crying fits, your sleeping habits and the reasons behind your attempted suicide.  

Ask for a referral to see a professional psychologist whose expertise lies in the field of sexual and physical abuse so that you are able to receive professional counselling and hopefully avoid more physical abuse in future.

Go well my friend.

Answer 3

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. But you know what? I was there not very long ago. I'm 16 too. And last October, I was dignosesed with depression and a panic disorder. I also had OCD. It was the hardest time of my life by far. And when I was about 10, I was sexually assalted as well. And my older sister also suffers from depression. She's 24, and she's had it since she was 18. Her's is a lot worse than mine now. She also has OCD. But we both sought help right away. And trust me sweetie, It does help. I feel so much better now. I'm still taking medicine, but I'm not depressed anymore. I also don't get panic attack at all. And I no longer have OCD. I was just like you. Scared to tell anyone. I was scared they'd think I was crazy. But I was crazy for thinking like that. Because all they want to do is help. Theres always gonna be someone there for you. So please, don't ever give up on life. Sure it's hard. But the next time you think It's not worth living, Just think of everyone that loves you. Everyone that cares about you, and cares about what happens to you. And those you care about. Because they're reason enough to keep on going.

Lots of Love. And I wish you only the best sweetie.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3...

Answer 4

You need GOD...

Answer 5

Print your question out including all of it and take it to your doctor. Let them read what we have just read. That way you wouldn't have to say it again...I know that talking about it can be a really hard thing to do. You need to get help while you are still young. It's important that you deal with all of this now before you become and adult and have children of your own. Pills will help you deal with some things but you also will need therapy to work through all the feelings you are trying to deal with. It will get better. If you are willing to help yourself (I think you are ) then there is no reason why you have to continue living as you do. Please talk to your doctor asap. I also think that you should be leaving your b/f. If he can hit you knowing that you cut yourself and are depressed, then he is not the guy you need in your life. Good luck!

Answer 6

You should tell some one that you can trust and get help.

Answer 7

First of all, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Considering your past, I'm amazed you've made it through all this. Hang in there.

You need help and you should seek assistance through a guidance counselor. Don't bail out or even consider that "everything is fine". It's not. Even if you go through a week without a down spot, you still need help.

If you don't have the money, you should go to your school immediately. They have guidance counselors who can give you the most help and information and may even make a drastic change in your life so that you can be happier and live how you deserve.

Seek someone you can talk to - your school is your best option. I pray that you do and I pray that you make it through this.  

Answer 8

You should speak to your parents or a counselor at school. You could print your question for them because it is a very good description. You need to make sure that the lack of sleep is addressed and the mood swings, not just the depression. You cannot find the help you need on the internet, you need to see a doctor.

Answer 9

You have some serious issues that ONLY a psychiatrist can diagnose. It sounds like you are bi-polar. See your GP and make sure you get an psyc consult.

There are medications for mood swings, anxiety and depression. Usually it's a cocktail they prescribe to balance the brain's neurotransmitters norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin. It may be slow going at first, but the doctors will find the right levels for your body.

I'm sure they will address the abuse you have gone through too-it has to be processed through some form of therapy. You could also be suffering from Post-Traumatic Syndrome.

Don't be scared, I know this all to well. It's more common than you think. I'm glad you have decided to take action.

http://bipolar.about.com

http://mentalhealth.about.com/

They have forums that are very well monitored and lots of information on depression, PST. Good luck.

Answer 10

I cannot give you professional help, but I can give you my own experiences.

Like you, I am a teenager (I am fifteen). I can go through days where everything is perfect, school is great, and my friends are perfect. But then I may have days where I have episodes of depression and bi-polarity. The latest episode happened just two nights ago. Nothing could fix this.

I have not had any experiences in the past that may have caused my depression, but when I was in the second grade I told my mom about my depression and she denied it. She denied that I had depression.

For me, suicide is not the answer. Not only because I don't want to die, but because of my faith in God. My faith has kept me strong.

What I can tell you, is that you are not alone. Our generation of teenagers are being pushed and pulled around by adults, and it is hurting us. Mentally and physically. Hollywood is throwing us off, and it's hard for us to put up with it. We just have to stick together. We can all pull this off.

Answer 11

There is nothing wrong with you, you are doing the best you can, with what life has given you.  You must be very strong.

You are not alone, other young people feel as you do.

You have taken the first step - looking for help.

Please talk to a school counsellor, or call a help line.  Depression is serious if not treated, it will grow worse overtime.

Your body is reacting normal, to unnormal circumstances.

This is too much for any person to deal with on their own, regardless of age.

When emotions don't get expressed in a healthy way, tension builds  to a point where it seems unbearable. Cutting yourself may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. But there are other, safer ways to cope with the pain, for you to be in control.

Take care,

Answer 12

first write down the names if you know them of the people who sexually assulted you and go to the cops. it sounds like you had a rough time and are depressed. but it also seems like your very strong for a young girl and still optimistic. seek some one you can talk to and dont hurt yourself none of this is your fault. dont worry, people can help you. you have been through the worst part now do good for you.