What's wrong with my niece?

Question

She will be 3 in January and doesn't talk much. I can recognize 4 words she says. Drink, pee, dada, and Jakey (my son's name). She doesn't know anything, like her colors, numbers, alphabet, she doesn't communicate well with me. When she wants something she goes uh uh uh and pulls my shirt and shows my what she wants. I have been trying to work with her but she just doesn't get it. She also has a larger head than other toddlers I know. She doesn't have great eye contact and does not stay still. She can't watch a tv show for 15 minutes, it seems as though nothing interests her either. She can't play with the same toy more than 10 seconds. She has my son's toy room torn apart within 15 minutes. I tried doing my own research but came up with nothing. She seems slow, and her dad is a jack***. I can't say anything to him about it or he gets all defensive.I don't speak to her mother.

Does anyone else know a child that sounds like this? Could it be something serious or is she just not as advanced as my son is. My son is going to be 4 and I know by age of 2 he knew colors, his alphabet, and sorts.

Answer 1

Your niece sounds interactive which is a good thing, but her attention span and lack of eye contact kinda flags of the Autism spectrum.  Her parents might want to take her to her pediatrician to have an evaluation booked.

Here the spectrum evaluation covers everything from ADD/ADHD to other developmental and behavior related disorders (I'm not sure which country you're in ;)  )

I used to care for a child older than your niece, for five years, who had Severe Autism; and my own child (5 yr old) is waiting to have the same spectrum evaluation your niece should be referred to.  He flags like silly for Asperger's Syndrome (which is in the mild autism range).

At the very least, if she's having trouble focusing on people's faces to keep eye contact (which could be why she doesn't keep eyecontact long); of if there is anything else that needs to be tended to, the pediatrician will be able to pick up on it and see to it she's sent to the right specialists.

Parents can be protective of their children, especially if they're worried something isn't right.  When you speak to her parents about this try to make sure you don't accidently come across as implying they aren't taking care of their daughter (I'm sure you aren't, but sometimes good advise can be taken like that from protective parents).

~on the flip side~

All 3 year olds develop at different rates, some have trouble speaking, some take a little longer to be able to focus on one activity like TV for more than 15 minutes.  So what you're noticing could be still in the "normal" range for a 3 year old.  If her parent's haven't already, her pediatrician should have phamplets that list what a 3 year old who is developing on schedule should be able to accomplish attention-wise and activity-wise, as well as example words of what she should be able to wrap her tongue around.  I was given one when I was getting ready to enrol my son in Kindergarden this year but have since lost it.   :(

Either way, if she isn't taken to a pediatrician, her preschool should be able to help her parents identify any concerns (if she attends preschool) or her primary/kindergarden teacher will pick up on any concerns as they are educated specifically for the age groups in their field.

Its hard, but if her parents choose to not take her to a pediatrician its their right (it sucks, I know) as long as your niece isn't in any danger.  If her parents aren't receptive to a pediatrician's advice, the best you can do for your niece is be there for her and try to help her as she grows and gets ready for school in 2 years.

If any preschool teachers or her kindergarden teachers find she isn't within the average range for her age group when she's in their care, they'll talk to her parents and have a lot more certifications than I do backing them up :)  

Take a look at these links to see if they help.  Remember, there's a broad range of "normal" in childhood development.  Good luck :)

OH!  Another thing you can do is get ahold of the contact number for an "Early Childhood Intervention" group in your area.  When I got in touch with the one here in NS (Canada), they went through my concerns for my son over the phone; but because they didn't have space to take him into their program themselves, they were able to direct me to where I could have his hearing tested and sign up to have the Developmental Spectrum Analysis done.  They were a great help, and even asked me to call back to let them know how we were doing :)

They might be able to give you local support information, or resource locations for your nieces parents :)

Hope this helps. *hugs*

Answer 2

she sounds like she is delayed in all areas. her speech is delayed, her social is delayed and since she isn't worked with then those areas will affect the other areas.

even though you are working with her if she isn't cognitively ready for what your teaching her then its all for not. FAS has physical characteristics that come with so make sure your careful when doing your own diagnosis as it can be dangerous.

as the other poster said, its the parents choice to take her to a pediatrician and parents are very, very defensive about their children especially from anyone on the outside.

if she is 3 and is delayed then she wont act like a 3 year old and when she is required to go to school then the teachers there will test her and go from there and they wont have much choice in the matter. its sad however that she isn't getting some early intervention. here is a copy of the link for developmental milestones. I didn't really see anything that pointed to autism spectrum just a lot of environmental issues of course I don't know the whole story either. but good luck and just keep working with her to sit and color for so long and give her some drop and release things (connect four) and work with her forming her words correctly and then you can start working up to more academics.

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-...

http://www.blankees.com/baby/speech/

Answer 3

It could be a number of things.  Sadly, a lot of parents don't work with their kids and sadly again, some kids just aren't blessed with the brightness that others are.  It could be that she is just not as intelligent, or she could just need more people to pay her some attention.  It makes me so mad when parents don't care to work with their kids or take suggestion,  

It did kind of sound serious when you mentioned that her head is larger and she has a very short attention span.  Did her mother drink during pregnancy?  Those are two signs of FAS, only there is no way you could determine this yourself unless you were a doctor.  Other signs I know that are prevalent with children who have FAS are a flatter upper lip and the eyes sometimes appear further apart and different shaped.

Answer 4

Sounds like maybe it could be Autism?

Answer 5

Definitely sound like she needs to be tested for a spectrum of things-ADD, ADHD, Retardation, Developmentally Delayed. Could be a whole lot of things--but the sooner they test her the sooner she can be bought up to speed.

Answer 6

Every child develops differently and the more parents work with children the more they will learn It is not unlike a 2 1\2 year old to not be able to sit still.  She should be evaluated by a pediatrician contact your local birth to three program and maybe they can direct you in the right path.  You can call your child welfare services and leave an anonymous request for someone to check on her and maybe that will get the ball rolling.  And my daughters are 16 6 and 3, the oldest two could write their full names by age 3, and other things that my 3 year old cannot do. Every child is different