What's you opinion, am I being irrational?

Question

My bf has his little boy to stay with us every other weekend, so we get one weekend together every two weeks; I am happy with this arrangement. This weekend (our weekend), he spent 8 hours Saturday and 9 hours on Sunday playing cricket. He also did the same two weeks ago. Last night, as I was looking forward to snuggling up in bed with him, he said he was going to play a couple of games of footie on the playstation, and then come to bed. He finally came to bed at 4.30am, very drunk. Today we were supposed to meet for lunch, but he cancelled 15mins before hand saying he felt too hungover.

I am feeling pretty rejected at the moment - should I be mad at him? (I feel mad!), or should I be more understanding and respect he wants his own time playing cricket and staying up drinking?

I think it boils down to the fact I'd just like us to spend a day together, but each time the opportunity comes around, he goes off doing something else on his own, and I am left feeling disappointed again. I know I should talk to him about it, but I would like to know others opinions beforehand, as I have a tendency to be irrational and fly off the handle! Thanks.

Answer 1

Well my Dear, I think you have correctly describe your self very well. like you say, you are arrogant but you have left out one thing, & selfished, you are acting like your step child, the way you g, that is how the child should act, & you are driving

your man away and you do not know because I do not think you want to know because you are too selfished and that is not good for you or any one else.

Your man friend may not want to leave the house, but you do not let

him breath when he is in side so that is why he have to leave his own

bed & gone & get drunk and that is so SAD for what you are doing to him, and you will fiend what you have done when he say BY to you. SO if you wants him and his child well you WILL HAVE TO slow down,

Backed up or PARK then you looked into your ways so that you can keep your MAN & his child OK?? GOOD KUCK TO THE THREE OF YOU.

  

Answer 2

I'm a bit confused, you are counting the weekends when he has his son as "not together"? Have you tried playing cricket or joining with him in some activities - looks like you only want to count time doing your things as quality time. You have to both work on sharing your time together.

Answer 3

sounds like he isnt really bothered any more! tell him to wise up or your'e gone!!

Answer 4

I can see why you are mad, I would be too if I was in your situation.  Its great that you respect that he has to spend time with his son as thats important, but for a relationship to work you need to make time for each other.  You need to tell him the truth because if you dont it will get worse and you will end up growing apart.  If he doesnt understand where you are coming from then you need to seriously address if it is going to work, good luck :)

Answer 5

what you want is normal chick, your bf needs to spend more quality time with you.

he is acting like he is still single (with benefits)

you need to tell him how you feel, you have to have his child with you every 2 weeks so you don't get any quality time, he should not spent the alternate weeks playing with his mates! well not all weekend anyway, he must put the effort into your relationship, afterall you are putting up with his kid. he is taking you for granted!

i'd feel exactly the same as you, i'd have his head on a stick (but that's me)

good luck

Answer 6

You sound like me. So I'll give you MY answer 1st. He should have spent more time with you! Playing cricket is fine. But why so long? Why playstation too? What about you and your feelings? You need some "him" time too. Now to cancel lunch on top of all that. Listen, I think you need to sit him down and let him know NOT to neglect your feelings. Maybe one out of the two weekends he can spend with JUST YOU!! Playing footsie + some! If it continues and he doesn't make the effort then move on.  

Answer 7

Irrational? What you want is what you deserve. Get rid of him, because he'll never change and you deserve to be happy. Good luck.

Answer 8

I think you have every right to be mad at him for his behavior.  If I would you I would tell him how you feel about the situation.  Men don't always know how their actions affect us so they need to be reminded.  The best relationship is built upon being open and honest with how you feel. He should respect your feelings and try to compromise so you can spend time together.  If he's not willing to compromise he might not be the one for you.

Answer 9

Talk to him, tell him how you are feeling.  He has to know that something is bothering you before he can correct it.  I would be mad also though.  I would just let him know that you enjoy your time together and that you feel your time is always cut off.  Let him know you miss him.  Give him a chance to correct it or show that he is at least trying.  But yes, I would talk to him.  Good luck.

Answer 10

I would be very upset as well.  I also think he is being quite a jerk.  You are laying in his bed... and he is playing video games?  Sounds pretty lame to me.

I would tell him what's up.  No one deserves that, especially if you're not even married yet.  Cancelling lunch, the whole day playing games, and THEN coming home and getting wasted.... NOT COOL.

Tell him if he doesn't want to spend time with you that's fine, but to tell you so you can stop wasting your time.  I mean seriously, don't put up with this, I cannot think of any good excuse for this kind of behavior.

Answer 11

Seems to me like he is picking playing cricket over spending time with you.  It is one thing to play it for a couple of hours but to spend the whole day doing it is pretty insane.  You need to decide what importance you want to be in his life and what is important to you in terms of a relationship and make it clear to him.

Answer 12

men are all the same

Answer 13

Hmmm... Ever wondered why he's not still with the mother of his little boy? Maybe she found him a tad selfish too.

EDIT: We ain't all the same, to be fair... But true, there's a significant proportion of us who are self-involved and lazy with relationships.

Though that just makes life cozier for us caring types as we get love and appreciation lavished upon us from previously mis-treated gals. ;o)

Answer 14

Yes, I would be pissed.  If he were with his child the whole time I wouldn't be.  But if I NEVER got to see him and he chooses to drink and act like an idiot with his time, then I would be mad and ignore him.  

Answer 15

ughhh. i know exactly how you feel. just talk to him, let him know how you are feeling and that its making you upset. i dont think your being irrational at all. and if you talk to him and he doesnt change, dump him. his mind is obviously some where else and he doesnt want/and or isnt ready for a relationship.

Answer 16

playing a game or a sport is ok sometimes but a relationship needs "two" people to be considered a relationship (explained in the simplest way possible)

playing sometimes is ok but he should be spending "some" time with you.

especially when hes staying up drinking instead of spending the time he has with you.

Hope This Helped! :D

Answer 17

The obligation of taking care of his child every other weekend should have been something you were aware of before the two of you began dating, so you can't be disappointed with him fulfilling his obligations.

His activities such as cricket, gaming and drinking should not me 'new' hobbies.  If this was something you expected him to give up once you became a couple, then your expectations were a bit out of line and the only one you should be disappointed with is yourself.  Sorry for being so blunt, but you can't change him.