What's your favourite comedic Bill Hicks quote?

Question

What's your favourite comedic Bill Hicks quote?

Answer 1

Ok it's a bit long for a quote but :

"Anyone dumb enough to want to be in the military should be allowed in. End of ******story. That should be the only requirement. I don't care how many push-ups you can do, put on a helmet, go wait in that fox-hole, we'll tell you when we need you to kill somebody...

You know what I mean? I'm so sick... I've watched these ******* Congressional hearings, and all these military guys, and all the pundits, seriously "oh, the esprit de corps will be affected..."

Excuse me, but aren't y'all *******'hired killers? Shut up! You are thugs, and when we need you to go blow the **** out of a nation of little brown people, we'll let you know. "

Answer 2

So, so many.  But here's one that's up there: "A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a **** cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."