What's your opinion of adoption?

Question

Later down the road, I'm not sure I want children or not, but I've wondered if I should give birth anyway. I have an epileptic disorder and am on strong medicine. I don't know if the child would inherate my brain trouble or if it would be safe to breast feed from my high dosage of medication. What 's your opinion, when married, that I adopt a child at maybe the age of 2 when I know I want to be a mom?

Answer 1

I think adoption is good most of the time because when people give their children up for adoption it probaby for a good reason, so then those children go to a family who really wants children but can't have them, so they give those children a better home then thier real parents could so those children get a happy life.

Answer 2

If you do end up adopting, then that is great.  I am adopted and I thank my parents every single day for giving me a chance.  They also adopted my older brother.  He is 25 and I am 20.  My adopted parents always tell us that we are a gift from God.  And they treat us just like we came from them, not someone else.  But if you do adopt, the child is eventually going to wonder about their birth parents.  They might want to search for them and meet them, and it is going to be hard on you.  I did that to my mom.  I told her that I would like to find my birth parents and she broke down.  She forgets that we are adopted.   And when I told her that, she thought that I wanted to replace her and dad.  So I just let it go.  Its not that important.  But I thank the Lord that I was adopted.  Its a blessing.

Answer 3

Adopting a child takes a special type of person, because unlike when you have your own child you have no idea what the prenatal care was if any or what kinds of thing the child could have inherited. If those don't scare you off then go for it. You'd be changing the life of a child who so desperately needs a home a mommy and a family of their own.

Reading a few of these other posts I don't understand how anyone could think adoption could be bad for "Everyone" involved.

Answer 4

I admire people who adopt.  You see, raising a child a not an easy task.  The hardship you undergo to raise a child not your own is so admirable.

Answer 5

Have your own child if it is safe for you to do so.

If not live a childless/free lifestyle.

Adoption is a lose-lose situation for all involved.

Answer 6

My parents adopted me and two other kids...we are a great family!  I discovered in my 40's the details of my birth-family...I am so lucky, repeat SO LUCKY, that they gave me away.  So, I think adoption is great.

Answer 7

More people need to adopt, and they have to lower the initial cost.  Many good families can't afford 10g's for a baby, but can easily afford to care for and nurture a child.

Answer 8

I have epilepsy and have had it for 16yrs, i was diagnosed when i was 14yrs old, just 1 month shy of my 15th birthday and my first seizure ocurred on new years day.  Like you i too had the same concerns about having children and passing my illness to them.  After extensive research i learned that epilepsy is NOT hereditary it is a rsult of head trauma, maybe as a kid you had one to many bumps on the head or maybe you suffered just one major injury.  After thinking about this and talking with my parents i did suffer severe head trauma when i was a child.  

Much like you i was ona very high dose of medication 3000mg a day for just medication and 750mg for another.  I consulted with 3 neurologists who all said the same thing that the only known safe medication for epileptics during pregnancy was Neurontin.  I am happy to say that i have 3 beautiful children and i stopped taking my medication altogether(don't do this unless you speak to your doctor first) and i had no seizures throughout my pregnancies.

There is light at the end of the tunnel i promise you that, and it is possible for you to have children and lead a happy normal life as a mother.

I thought i would share my experience with you to give you hope for your future.

I also took Neurontin after i gave birth a successfully breastfed all my children with no effects on my children.  Neaurontin is the only medication that is not passed through the breastmilk according to current studies.

If you wish to chat you may email me.

Answer 9

I think that adoption is great.  It is a wonderful option for those with health problems and for whatever reason.  The best thing you can do is probably educate yourself on adoption at this point and make a decision later when you are ready.

Answer 10

I think adoption is a great solution for many - the child looking for a home, the parent who wants a child yet cannot for whatever reason have their own, or even the parent willing and able to give someone something they might not have had the chance to have.

Is this the solution for YOU?  Only you can answer that, really.  As an adopted child and a psychologist I think my main concern would be about the age at which you would like to adopt.  Age 2 is a tough age, regardless of other circumstances.  Bonding issues may be a problem - where is the child coming from? A stable foster home? Many foster homes?  Both present their own bag of issues. Removing a 2 year old from a stable foster home or from birth parents needing to relinquish the child would likely be traumatic for the them, and consequently you as you struggle to form your own bond with the child.  A child coming from multiple placements might have an attachment disorder.  I guess I would recomment adopting a child at birth, based on the above.

There are many great adoption books out there.  I would look into them.  If you really want to adopt a child that is not an infant, I strongly recommend you read up on adopting this age group so you can be as prepared as you can about potential hurdles.  Being proactive is the best way to parent.

Answer 11

I love the idea of adoption, I feel it's our responsibilty as human beings to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves. Whether it's an orphan, the homeless, drug addicts exc.

Answer 12

Adoption for natural mothers is most often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Epilepsy is not passed on as other genetic disorders are. If you do choose in the future to adopt do so from foster care where thousands of children languish in a system that does not provide all it says it can. As a natural mother I can tell you that no mother I have ever met wants to lose her child to adoption. In most cases all that is needed is a little support and that enables the mother to parent her child. Foster children are all too often seen as damaged "Goods" and many are not adopted because of this. If you must adopt then personally I feel you should adopt a child who actually needs good stable home that will have the means to help the child with any problem whether mental or physical.

Answer 13

ya any child after the breast feeding stage would be great for you

Answer 14

Adoption is the most unselfish thing you can ever do.  I personally do not want kids, ever, but if I did, I would 100% adopt.  I definitely recommend you to adopt ust because there are already soooo many children who need a home.  Why bring ANOTHER baby into this world when we already have too many?

Good-luck. :)

Answer 15

I don't want my own kids. I want to adopt in the future. Mostly a kid around 5 or so. Or to be a foster parents.

I find it sad that so many people only want babies. These children need love, regardless of the age.

I hope more people see that in the future :(

Answer 16

There is nothing wrong about adopting a child .As every child needs to be wanted so follow your heart.Ask your Dr. of the chances your baby could have your disorder.You are a wise person to care about this and whatever decision you make I'm sure your child will be well loved

Answer 17

As an adoptee and a mother  I recomend you either give birth to your own children or enjoy a childfree life.

Adoption is founding a family upon loss and heartache.

Answer 18

Speaking as an adoptee, I think it';s a noble decision to want to adopt, as much as it is a noble decision to give up a baby you can't care for.  Adoptees go through a LOT of mental issues.  That is just a fact.  But, if you are honest with the child you adopt, and ALWAYS let them know that they were loved by their birth parents and that YOU love them unconditionally, everything should be fine.  I think it is wonderful of you to consider raising a child that needs you instead of taking the chance of bringing a baby into the world that may have serious problems.  I wish i could ask you what your doctor thinks!!!  Good Luck Sweetie!!!!

Answer 19

Does your condition cause you to drop things or is it possible to have a seizure while driving?  Consider what the real reason is behind your decision to adopt, your condition will affect any child in your care.  Having your child by birth or adoption is life altering and the rewards are great.  I think even I at my age could love a child that needs a home, but I have to weigh the effect on their lives, consider the long wait that you will have before you are approved and what if years pass and this child's natural parent shows up and takes them from you.  Lots of things to consider.  Blessings to you.

Answer 20

I am living my life down the adoption path.

For our family, it was a GREAT thing.

We adopted our kids, who are now 10 and 11, last year.

Answer 21

The first question you need to answer is if you want to be a mom or not. Only you can answer that and your answer now may be differnet that your answer a few years from now.

If you are concerned about your epileptic disorder and it's effect on pregnany, plus the possibility of passing it on to a child, then have a talk with the Dr who treats your epilepsy. S/he should be able to answer those questions for you now.

I know some women on anti seizure meds need to change meds to a safe for pregnancy anti seizure medication.

If your Dr dosen't think it is a good idea for you to be pregnant or the risk of your child inheriting your condition is too great, then adoption might someday be the answer for you.

If/when you decide to adopt, you can decide if you want an infant, toddler or older child. Perhaps even a sibling group or a child with special needs.

Good Luck

Answer 22

I think that first, you should consult your doctors and ask their professional opinion. I have a friend who has epilepsy, and she was discouraged from having children due to the meds she is on.  She has two healthy children, however, that is not to say that there was a potential risk.........

Here's what I have to say on "my opinion" as your first question states........

Do you want to Parent????? If so, it should not make a difference if you have a child biologically or through and adoption option.............the right child comes to all of us who truly want to parent. I believe that.

Answer 23

I think it's a good option. If you love kids and are willing to make sacrifices to make their lives better, you should definitely do this. Good luck!

Answer 24

I'm adopted and I think its wonderful.

Answer 25

I think you have a great attitude and are very intelligent.

My opinion of adoption is it is wonderful! There are so many children who exist right now, who need a real home and a loving parent(s).  You'll be able to pat yourself on the back for doing yourself, this world and the child an incredible act of kindness and you won't be adding to this already over-populated planet. There is no rule where anyone HAS to be a parent and no rule that the only way to be a parent is giving birth.

Up until I was 27, the thought of being a mother didn't appeal to me, at all (I think mostly because of my parent's divorce). When I was 35, I KNEW I wanted a child. I was injured in a horseback riding accident when I was in my  early twenties. I cannot tell you how relieved I was when 3 different doctors said I probably wouldn't be able to carry a baby to term and for the sake of my health, it would be best not to try to conceive. With those diagnoses, it took so much pressure off me. It was my permission slip to adopt. When I KNEW I wanted a child, I had imagined that I would adopt instead of giving birth. For me, knowing there are so many children out there in need, I couldn't conscientiously go through childbirth.

After that, I no longer had to worry about passing on any inherited diseases and undesirable genes from myself and my family. I didn't have to go through childbirth, which frankly scared the daylights out of me. Because I've intentionally remained single, I don't  have to worry about  a divorce and a custody battle. Since I did an international adoption, I don't have to walk on eggshells wondering if someday her birth mother will come back and take her away...there's an ocean between us. (I do wish only the best for her birth mom & am so grateful she made this heart-wrenching decision to go full term & to place my daughter in an orphanage.)

When I KNEW and was satisfied with my research, I took a leap of faith and I adopted the most beautiful and sweetest baby girl from Russia. She was 7 months old. It was a long and difficult process but worth everything. She is so awesome! I can't begin to explain how incredible she is. I didn't know how really alone I was until I had her. She's my whole world and has completely filled my heart up. I didn't know how deep my capacity to love was until she came into my life and I thank God every day for her and putting the 2 of us together.

We have our moments sometimes, (she's an Aries & I 'm a Leo) just like any typical family, but it sure beats the heck out of where I was before the adoption. The good definitely outweighs the bad.

I don't know how old you are, but you might want to go ahead and get on a waiting list. It took me 4 years (talk about hard labour.) At least you can sort of feel your way through the system and do plenty of research, to make an informed decision. I didn't have a computer then so I read everything about adopting that I could get my hands on. I made sure I had plenty in savings. I went through 2 agencies and wouldn't recommend either of them. Had I not been adopting 2 girls, I know I would never have been fortunate enough to adopt my baby. (Long story, but Katya's adoption fell through a couple of weeks before I was set to go to Russia and get both girls. They weren't related to each other.)

I didn't mean to go on & on but I'm so impressed with your question & I thank you for actually THINKING about such an important issue. I wish you the very best & my advice is to continue taking the path you are on and don't make any split-second decisions (you don't sound like you would).

Thank you for being so responsible & take care always.

Added Oct. 29: I'm looking at the votes in here. Anyone else notice how anyone who is adopted or has adopted gets the most thumbs down? Was this a trick question or just a bunch of jerks decided to mess with the answers? Hmmmm....

Answer 26

So you're pregnant now and are considering abortion....is that what you are asking?  So if you have an abortion, you still want to adopt later?  Do you really need to ask this question?  It would be a slap in the face.