What's your opinion on adoption?

Question

I'm 38, and my husband to be is 45. I've had a hysterectomy so I can't have any more children. Lately, though, the urge has been there to have a baby in the house. We have 3 kids, 17, 18, and 20. Am I completely off of my rocker or will the urge eventually go away?

Answer 1

I think that if you want to have anouther child then go for it! Its not going to hurt anyone and your not being selfish one little bit. Who cares if you could have gran kids now! Your only 38!! My mother and father didnt adopt me till late, and everything turned out just fine! Go for it if thats what you want.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

I think adoption is a great idea!  You should seriously consider it! Good luck! :)

Answer 3

The urge WILL go away.. but why not look at urself & work out if its a baby u want or the fact that you think you are a good parent & want to parent others?

If thats the case.. be like me... become a foster carer for a private agency.... its the best thing i ever did.. it pays well... im at home all day & i know im doing a good thing!

Could you do it?

Answer 4

How long have you been thinking of it?  Maybe you are missing having the kids around, and are trying to replace that feeling, or maybe you really are ready to have another child.  If you want babies around teh house, foster.  It is a good thing for empty nesters to do, help a family out.  Some people end up adopting their foster children, but some go home.  We fostered and loved it!

Answer 5

You cant turn your feelings on and off!  I am 28 and cant have anymore children, I have 2 aged 8 and 6.  We are just about to start on the path of adoption and I cant wait.  I think adoption is a fantastic way of adding to your family.

Answer 6

Most likely you are suffering "empty nest" syndrome and the urge will pass. My step-mom said she is going through this now because my brother and I are moved out and married and my sister will be leaving for college in the fall. She says she'll miss the noise and people in the house. That's probably what you are experiencing as well.

If I'm wrong though, and this isn't a phase, I don't see anything wrong with giving a child a loving home!

Answer 7

if you want to look after another child, go for it, there are too many unhappy ones out there.

Answer 8

I know four people who have adopted, It's wonderful! The kids are happier than ever, but this one girl, marie, who I babysit, has her moments. Her mom left her and she god adopted. But you know, the child will always miss thier real parent. But I completely support the casue. There are so many kids out there who deserve a home but don't have one! Just don't make the horrible choice of giving the child BACK! That is cruel. But, good luck., I totally would.

Answer 9

You're young enough to give a child a good start, if that's what you choose. Give it a little time - if you still want to adopt, and your husband concurs, there's no earthly reason why you shouldn't give someone a happy home.

My hat's off to you. It's a wonderful thing you're suggesting.

Answer 10

My mom was 36 and my dad was 42 when they adopted  me and I was only 2. My brother their bio son is 11 years older than me.  So I see no reason for you not to if that is want you want. I personally had a good life being an adopted child.  And I highly recommend adoption to people who desire to do so. Good luck

Answer 11

It depends on what hubby thinks as well. I would say go ahead, but be sure you want to as there is no turning back.

I think I lost points by editing but had to come back to tell this 'Trouble' person not to be so despicable - a child is a child - and that is that! You adopt if you want who you want and from where you want. OK?

Answer 12

It sounds like you're getting the 'Empty Nest' Syndrome but, Go for it....  Please try to stay In your own Race & Country...There are alot of American Children who NEED Help....let Angelina & Brad do the rest!

Not being Racist or Biggoted but,  PLEASE, HELP OUR AMERICAN CHILDREN...Ooppssss, I assume you live in the USA!

My BAD?   ;-x

Answer 13

I would consider it very carefully before you decide. But if it's what you both want and your both healthy and well and can provide a good and loving home to a child then go for it and good luck.

Answer 14

their is nothing wrong with adoption .if you really want a baby and your husband want one go for it if your sure.

Answer 15

I think what you are feeling is natural empty nest stuff

As an adoptee I would love to see kids in foster care adopted and given a loving home, but so many of you are demanding babies, I find that part of your story very sad for the kids who are waiting- please consider them too

Answer 16

If thats what you want you should talk to your husband and kids and then go from there. Im adopted but although i think its a great thing to give a child a loving home i hate being adopted i just feel so rejected i know thats not always the case but its just how i feel i dont fit in with my family, im so different to them, its like i know i dont belong.

Answer 17

my mum had my sister at 46!,we were all adults.if you and your husband feel strongly enough to adopt then why not?.it could take several years to get a baby,but there are plenty older children looking for a home.

Answer 18

I would say if both you and your husband feel the same way then go ahead and adopt.  It takes a few years atleast to actually get a child if you want an infant.  I would also think about the fact that in a few years you may have grandchildren and would get your longing for a baby around that way.

Answer 19

at 38, you're not off your rocker for wanting a little one,

but i suggest a test drive, try foster care for a while, if after running ragged caring for a toddler again you still want one, look more into adopting,

if it turns out to be more than you remember, then just relax and wait for the grandkids,

you could just be have "empty-nest" feelings

Answer 20

I am 27, my sister is 25, and my brother is 10. Kids are awesome (I have 2 of my own) and if your husband is feeling the same as you, you should look into it. The older kids would learn alot from having a baby in the family... My little brother is only 3 years older than my daughter, and I tell you, if I wouldn't have had the experience with him, I would have been clueless when I had my own. Nevermind the fact that there are countless children in this country that need a family...

Answer 21

I think it is a good idea to adopt a child. Even if you can have children yourself I feel if you can offer a child a warm loving home then do it. However you have to think hard first if you do adopt a child what will happen when that child gets to 17/18 will the urge come back. Just think about it and 'm sure you will make the right choice.

There are loads of children (not only babies) out there which need loving homes. Please work out which will benefit more from you adopting them. Alot of the time older children get more out of it has no one wants to adopt them. Everyone wants babies.

Answer 22

i acually think adopting is better than birthing. i wont want to bring a kid in this world cuz the earth is getting so messed up. why not use th kids with no family that need a family.

Answer 23

I don't think you are off your rocker at all. I have a friend who decided to have a baby at 38 even though her oldest was graduating high school. Adopting an infant can be difficult though because there arde so many waiting. If you are willing to adopt out of foster care there are thousands of kids waiting for a forever home. Check out www.adoptuskids.org. Otherwise contact a local adoption agency.

Answer 24

pick one and make them feel good they have been in a fosters house and has no parent they that they are loved by love him or her she will like you after 2week of love you give him or her.

Answer 25

Try to adopt a disadvantaged child.

Answer 26

The urge will pass. Unfortunately by that time you may have already made a commitment and you risk destroying more than your own life.

Think carefully, do you want another teenager round your neck on a dozen or so years?

Answer 27

My opinion of adoption is wonderful-  since I am adopted and have 2 adopted children- I am very thankful that I had a great experience- so of course I would recommend it- there are many children out that need a good home- and it sounds like you are ready to open your heart and home to another child-   go for it.

Answer 28

I know several people in your situation, including myself.  My wife and I are 41 and have a child in high school.  We just adopted two little boys through the foster system.  I have a coworker who is older, with older biological kids, who is also adopting two kids.  It is a great feeling.  There is nothing unusual or strange about your feeling

If you are serious, and if your husband agrees, start the process of becoming a foster parent.  There is nothing that says you have to stay in the program, but it is a good way to test the waters.

Answer 29

I think it's wonderful that you want to adopt a child, there are so many little children who need help from people like you. I hope i can do the same when my kids are older, good luck x x

Answer 30

I'm considering adopting myself. My husband and I want kids, but we haven't been so lucky in that area. I think it's beautiful to adopt, especially in a loving home.If your wife wants to do it then I say do it. Your three blessings are grown and moving on, open your heart, mind and home to a child with no place to call a home.......Good Luck!

Answer 31

No stranger on a board can answer that for you!  Only time will tell.  If wild horses can't keep you from something, go to it!