What's your opinion on my poem, "In My Savior, I Put Faith"?

Question

In My Savior, I Put Faith

I thrive in passion's vibrant light,

Where, with pride, I shall fight.

Die for the one who died for me,

For faith is the vital key.

He watches me from far above,

Glaring down with blessed love.

Although I can't be sure he's there,

My belief is what I share.

Deceitful, scalding fires of sin,

Lie beneath all our kin.

Forgive us from our horrid deeds,

All the while the devil proceeds.

© Nemo 2008

~sig~

7 days without soccer makes one weak

Answer 1

Very good poem. I rate 8 of 10. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Yeah I thought that was good.

Answer 3

i like it. it's one of hose poems i would hang on my wall

Answer 4

its ok

Answer 5

i like it

Answer 6

I think its great. the imagery you create with the words you chose is very strong. you get the idea of this stern god who loves you very much, and a sense of everlasting faith. over all very good. Thanks

Answer 7

i think its a good poem

hows mine

a voice

avoice in the wind whipering to me

telling me stories of the past

i learn all things from history

i end up acing my class

i know, its stupid

Answer 8

It's good... well what I get from it is that you're talking about the sins of humanity and how we are in an age where goodness is eroding away while corruption and deceit take over. Is that what you were trying to convey?

When you say "die for the one who died for me"... it reminds of the American soldiers in Iraq.

Answer 9

thats a pretty good poem, i used to write some myself. i give it a 5/5

Answer 10

this poem is very well written im glad to see people writting about god get his word out there!

Answer 11

The imagery is nice but I feel the rhyming in the poetry makes it a bit predictable and sing song

"Although I can't be sure he's there,

My belief is what I share."

I feel the second line is a little stunted and changes the flow a bit. I could put it into a rhythm but I would be forcing it a bit and its come back to me feeling like I am reading a nursery rhyme, Your words are good I would never compare them to a childrens story, just the flow reminds me of it

I do like the last 4 lines, but again Lie beneath all our kin feels like it cuts off too soon

I hope that all made sense

Answer 12

LET GOD BE YOUR WINGS... Let God be your wings,To carry you away,

Let God be your compass,To help you find the way,

Let God be your strength, To help you bear the weight,

Let God be your salvation,To lead you to a better fate,

Life is a battle, but through this fight,Never lose sight of the Good Shephard's light.

-J.D.         Awesome poem by the way!