What's your personal definition of fraternization?

Question

I want to go through Navy OCS to become an officer. However, the books I have read such as "The Division Officer's Guide" and the "Bluejacket's Manual" clearly state that officers and enlisted can't be around each other. However, I mainly see things about dating. Are the examples below fraternization (sorry if the below sounds asinine, but I'm trying to see where fraternization starts.)

-Having a normal conversation with an enlisted personnel on your time off on the back of the ship. (Being their friend... man that sounds asinine.)

-Being around enlisted personnel who have to stand watches and making their watch not so horrible.

-Offering to do enlisted laundry for pay.

-Cleaning the officer's head with the enlisted personnel assigned to it.

I mean, I want to be the kind of officer in which I can get the respect of my subordinates, look like one of their kind, actually act like a decent human being, and not having people swear about me behind my back such as "Aye aye, a*****e." I want to be the type of officer in which enlisted personnel would think back in the past and say," Yeah, I remember him. He was a good guy."

Answer 1

Offering to do their laundry for pay is a big no-no.  You would be relieved of your position on the spot if your leadership found out you did that and you would face UCMJ action.

Other than that, having a conversation with a subordinate isn't considered bad as long as it doesn't turn into an outright friendship or more, if you know what I mean.  Cleaning the head isn't your job either but if you volunteer to do it nobody can really stop you.  The idea for being a good leader is to be firm but fair.  Some of the purposes of avoiding fraternization is to prevent your troops from using friendship as an excuse to disobey your orders and to keep morale.

Answer 2

I can't believe you are asking this question, but here goes.

"Fraternization" is any contact outside of the official business of issuing orders and observing work done.

That rule is one of the most important in the services, so if you don't get it, maybe you are not officer material.

Your job as an officer is to issue orders and ensure work is done.  And if it means folks think you are an a*****e and worse, so be it.  So long as they do their job and get the work done.

You do have one thing right, "respect".  That starts with no fraternization.  (You heard of the saying, familiarity breeds contempt?  It is true.)  Be fair, firm, and friendly ... but always make it clear they are going to do their job come h**l or high water or they are going to wish they were never born.

There are going to be times where folks don't like what they are ordered to do, and stuff that might get them killed.  If that bothers you too much, that you might have to give orders that gets someone killed, time to bail out and find something else to do.

Answer 3

It also means you can not hang out with enlisted unless you are having a unit function that included invites to all of the unit, even if you have a party at your house.  You will only be able to socialize with officers outside of work or enlisted that you don't work with.  Otherwise it's considered fraternization.

Answer 4

It's an unprofessional relationship that's detrimental to the unit's functioning. As an officer you're not an enlisted man's buddy and it's far better for everybody if you don't try to be. You can still be a decent human being but you're in a different world.  

Answer 5

the first one can be construed as Fraternization.  you CANNOT be  their friend, you must be their DIVO.  yes it is acceptable to have your entire division over for a BBQ a s Morale booster.  it is NOT acceptable to only invite one or two people over for  poker night.    DH  took the entire division out for Hooters at the end of a deployment as a thank you for them working so hard with no security violations.  you can be a sounding board when they come to you with personal problems.  you cannot fix them but you can steer them to the right places to get them fixed.  Asking how their day went and how the kids are is fine.  

the second one: you won't have time for.  you will be standing your OWN watches or doing your OWN work.   let them do their job, you do yours.  they don't need or want you hovering.  

the third is patently against regs. not allowed and is DEFINITELY not a good idea to even suggest it.  

The last is common courtesy to clean up  after yourself   for the little things.

you earn respect by being tough but fair.  being their friend is NOT the way to accomplish that goal.    Know when to back off and let the Chiefs and LPO do their thing, and when to butt in.