What's your view on marriage in today's world? ?

Question

Does anyone else feel extremely hesitant to ever get married? It seems like marriage is a lot less sacred these days with divorce and cheating seeming so common. I would love to get married one day but honestly it really scares me...I never want to go through a divorce. Anyone else agree or disagree that marriage has lost it's value and importance?

Answer 1

If you believe that marriage has value and is important, you have no reason to feel hesitant to get married as long as you find a partner who believes the same things.

Answer 2

i feel that marriage has lost its value in most people eyes but not in my eyes nor my husband's. if you dont want to go trought a divorce thought you can't predict , there are things you can do to prevent . know your partner well enough . marry somebody you know it is right for you, your right guy . you have your expectations in a man , make sure he has most of them , most of the qualities you want in your man . then get married when you re ready , and dont think that is it . it needs work , put in the work that it needs and pray ,pray . and hopefully yours will not fail . that is if you want it to work . mine isnt perfect but i respect my vows and prmoise to do all i can to makeit work for myself and my kids . i grew up in a broken family and promised myslef not to ever ,ever let that happen for my kids . and thank god i met a good guy who is willing to put the work in it too .

Answer 3

I think too many people see marriage as the "end game", or the goal.  They do so much to romance their partners and tell them all the right things and then after they "have them" and the honeymoon phase is over they simple stop trying.

I think if people were focused on continuing what they did to get their partners to keep them both partners would feel loved and committed to their relationships.

I also think that there should be mandatory counseling before marriage, and when you are expecting your first child.

I truly believe that this would put the marriage success rate over 80%.  But since this ins't mandatory for all marriages - you should make it mandatory for yours.

Answer 4

I got married 16 years ago, back then, it was fine, my husband and I are still married, after all these years, but if I was getting married in these hard times, I would definitely think twice.

I like your question!!!!

I will mark it interesting!!!!!

God bless!

Misty :-)

Answer 5

Marriage hasn't lost its value and importance...people have. I didn't feel hesitant to marry my wife, we both knew who we were dealing with when we got married, and we both knew we didn't need variety, a singel life, or whatever to be filled before getting married.  We wanted just each other, desired only each other, and depend on each other.  So we plan on making it long lasting, we have the patience and effort to work through our problems, cause we both know there most likely isn't anyone else like us that would treat us like we treat each other...i know i'll never find a woman as amazing as my wife, and my wife knows i'm unlike the dog statistic...we're in it for the long run.

Cheating belongs to those who just don't care about morals, who feel they DESERVE to have whateve they want regardless the cost, who depend on convenience rather than hard work given the conveniences technology, philosophy, and society has given.  For some religion held fast the values marriage upholds, and now that many question that even now they have more fuel to their fire to just 'cheat' and fulfill their own selfish values, not realizing that there are things in religion that DO make sense moral wise...like some points in marriage.  

And now that it's easy to just 'divorce' and avoid inconvenience rather than work at something because life is too short and there's a world to explore the idea of working with someone and grow is more of an old cliche.

You don't get married to not die alone...not to show you love someone, not because they fulfill your infatuation or your lusts....you get married because you know in your heart that there is no need to explore different people, no need to find your karmatic or tantric s*x unless it's found with that one, and that you want to show the other person that he/she is your best friend, best lover, best everything, and that you'd be willing to spend every bit of your life, through pain and suffering, and arguments and stresses, and of course all the joys and happiness, to be with that one particular person.  

But no one seems to understand that...it's marriage for me me me...not us us us.

Answer 6

Marriage in itself hasn't lost its value. People have lost their values. If you believe that it is a sacred union between two people and that divorce is not an option, then you are half way through the battle. Most people go into a marriage with the mentality that if it doesn't work out or you fall out of love, you can just start over with someone new. But when you find someone who shares your views you will find ways to make your marriage work out even during the worst times.

Another misconception of newly married people is that the marriage will work itself out because they are in love. Yeah whatever! Being in love has nothing to do with all the hard work associated with being life time partners. It truley helps but it won't fix disagreements over who will get up with the baby in the middle of the night, if you know what I mean.

I think the smartest path to take is to go real slow, and get to know your potential partner in every way first, talk about every little thing you have ever heard of and find out exactly what their values are. How they would handle annoying situations that could potentially harm a relationship. And always look at the way a man treats his mother because that is an indicator of how he would treat his wife.

Answer 7

It does have something to do with the influence of modern and civilized world. But it's still up to people how they handle their relationship. Not all marriages are failure.  People just tend to be more selfish and needy from their partner and does not look into reciprocating the same.

Answer 8

Like anything worthwhile, marriage has its struggles and growth period in people's lives. Sometimes maturity and recognizing good choices help the couple in the earlier times in this big change. Family values and support also contribute to their success. Fear of divorce should not be a consideration, if one takes the steps to weigh the choice with all those factors. Divorce and cheating imply the lack of knowledge of the partner and who he or she is capable of doing. Love seems to blind on their values of keeping the marriage solvent and proper respect for their partner. I hope you think over these with the prospective candidate for your lifetime partner. Maybe this will help avoid the pitfalls that overcome the others in less than needed consideration. Marriage hasn't lost it's value and importance but people's consideration for others to pass off their marriage, if the work is too great to move on with their lives to a next step or person.....

Answer 9

i think too many people rush into marriage.. no one takes there time to get things right... they feel like if they dont get married now, then they never will.. but what i have learned, from doing that very thing, is that the best things in life take time... if you want your marriage to succeed, then you have to live your life the same way.. what i mean is, i got married at 19, after dating the guy for only 8 months.. we moved in together after 3 months... he cheated on me i am pretty sure, 4 years into it, and i got divorced aftrer being married 6 years... but, the man i met shorty after is wonderful.. he has 2 kids so we are really taking things slow, taking tm eto do it right... we dont really even live together yet.. we've been together over a year, yes, we spend every night in the same bed, except the nights he has his daughters.. that night, we have dinner together and then i go home, he stays with them at his parents.. and things are better... i know i would love to live with him, but in all honesty, we're both so broke since our divorces that if we had to try and support each other, it would destroy us... because then we'd fight about that.. but, we are completely committed.. we decided last year that break up is not an option.. and thats how we live it.. he is afraid of marriage again, but i am sure that once he see's that i am committed with or w/o the piece of paper, he will want to get married for real... thats what i mean about living like you were.. you have to know that you're devoted to each other because you want to be, before you have to be.. in my opinion!

Answer 10

just make sure you are marrying someone who shares the same values.  

a 50% divorce rate just means that a whole heck of a lot of people "stay married".  sure we would prefer a sure thing, but take away the irresponsible people who marry for the wrong reason, and the success rate skyrockets.  take away those people who are on their 2nd 3rd and 4th marriages, and again, the rate goes up (hey, they couldn't make it work the first time, so most of those that marry multiple times also divorce multiple times).

there are alot worse odds than that to many things in this world.