What Can A Victim Learn From Abuse?

Question

whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological?

How can one make it positive?

Answer 1

By helping others that have been abused.

This in turn will help the victim as it empowers him/her. And shows that the abusers are not invincible.

Answer 2

As much as it makes sense that abuse victims can 'take control if their lives etc' and learn from their experiences, I have struggled a little dealing with anger at the fact it has had a huge effect on my life and was out of my control.

My parents fought constantly. I lived with an abusive and volatile stepfather for 14 years and as much as I'm a positive and happy person now, I still beleive it had a huge negative impact on my life in terms of career and stability. As much as I have never played the victim, I don't know if i'll ever forgive my mother for keeping us in that environment and making the whole thing about herself.

How can one make it positive? It's hard - when you look back in retrospect and see just how much of a negative effect it had on your life it's difficult to forgive. What's positive? I will never put my future children in a situation that will teach them to fear adults and fear for their safety every day of their lives - ever!

Answer 3

Helping others who have been through the same.

Answer 4

If it is abuse from a significant other, you can learn what to watch out for next time.

Answer 5

Compassion for others that are abused.

Answer 6

How to avoid doing it to others unintentionally.  

How to help others who have suffered similarly.  

To find and push through pain with effective coping mechanisms, and be a better person.  

They can use it to realize and give themselves motivation to stand up and be heard.

They can know how to recognize the behaviours and "nip them in the bud"

They can write about and educate others through their experiences, creating awareness leading to prevention, or rehabilitation and/or support from those suffering.  

But is it really a positive?

The event is never a positive, and they are likely to struggle with it for a long time, possibly permanently.

Answer 7

I was an abused husband and I learned:

1.  Never trust the cops, they will always see the man as the aggressor.  I also learned that pursuing police officers who behave improperly through the courts is worthwhile.

2.  The idea that a man can be physically abused by his wife is taken as a joke.  The idea that she can forcibly rape him is taken as being impossible.

3.  That there are no support systems out there for men on any effective scale, and that governments are politicallt scared to admit that abuse against men exists.

4.  That I had to learn to trust again without help at first.

5.  That my church gave me a lot more help than any loony leftie feminist inspired Labor government would ever do.

6.  That I can find people to trust again and move on with my life.

7.  That fighting the govermnet and feminist following bureaucracy is worthwhile because it exposes hypocrisy and double standards.

8.  That not all women are like my ex-wife.  This may seem self evident, but continuous distrust in battered women is looked at as normal, so why is it considered a sign of judgementalism in men?

Sorry this is not all sweetness and light, but there are tremendous double standards and a wilful ignorance regarding battered men.