What Choices Does This Working Father Have Open to Him?

Question

He was 20 when he married her at 18.

He has a basic college education, and works a blue collar job.

They have two children, which she stays home to look after.

His income does not keep pace with their financial commitments, and he has become resentful and angry, which he takes out on his wife.

He wants to leave her, but fears that he could not afford to cover the costs of a settlement, and that he would be forced from his home.

A home in which he feels like a stranger.

What Choices Does This Working Father Have Open to Him?

How do you feel about this situation?

Answer 1

think of time,most poeple dont know what thay have lost untill its gone,  maybe a break

Answer 2

In all honesty, I feel two ways about this:

1.  I feel a little bad for the guy because he got married very early and probably didn't know that years down the line they both would change.  Usually at 20 you're not thinking like that.  Also he wants out of a situation that he can't much get out of, so I'm sure he's feeling trapped.

BUT!

2.  He takes his anger out on his wife.  It's not her fault that he's feeling this way, and his actions will come back to him in a big way.  He'll get what he deserves someway, somehow.  I think he needs to decide to be a man now, and make up his mind.  Though he'll have to sacrifice financially, at least he won't be jeopardizing the happiness of his family, as well as his own.

Answer 3

Jail, for beating his wife, hopefully. I feel sorry for people's misfortune only up until they start taking it out on others. And whether he stays in the house will depend on who has "school day" custody of the children.

Answer 4

He might want to consider getting a postnuptial agreement. It would allow him to give her only the settlement that he can afford in the event of a divorce. Besides that, they should both do their best to cut expenses. And, obviously, he should tell her how he's feeling.

Answer 5

They need to figure what effect this is having on their children.  Money isn't everything.  

Sell the house and split the proceeds as its not just 'his' house.

Answer 6

all too common as well.

frankly, i'm not sure what his choices are.  he will find little help from not for profits or the state.  perhaps he has family to turn to, but not all do.  in my guesstimation he has a dilemma not options.

Answer 7

First, see the county MHMR for help with anger management.  He's in a bad situation and he shouldn't make it worse by being abusive of being sent to jail.

(I was going to say that he could start selling weed out of the house, but now I take it back - erase that.)

He should discuss his unhappiness with his wife and see if she might want to go to work while he goes back to school and gets an education at night, while he stays home and takes care of the kids.  The change of scenery might lift his depression and it might be a shot in the arm for a marriage that is quickly going down the tubes.

Here in the US he can easily get school loans.

Or the weed thing - either way.