What Do I Do? (Adult Child Living at Home)?

Question

My son is 26 years old, extremely handsome, has a great paying job (makes about $56k/yr), but the problem is, is that he doesn't want to move out of our house. He has never lived on his own. He is afraid of commitment so he doesn't stay in relationships long enough to end up living with his previous girlfriends. His siblings have even offered him to live with them but he refuses because of his pride. He doesn't have that many friends to rely on (all his friends are married). He makes more than enough to live independently. My husband isn't much of a support, so he doesn't mind our son living at home. What do I do? I have tried to not cook his meals, clean his room, and do his laundry. Anybody have any experience like me?

Answer 1

Send him my way, I'll get him out of the house.  Nah seriously, maybe that's just what he's comfortable with.  I still live with my parents and I'm 24...not that I want to, I just fell on some bad luck.  Anyways when I was 18-22 I still wanted to live at home because it was easy.  What I mean is that my parents let me come and go as I pleased and never really said anything to me, I got to eat their food, have tv, a phone, internet etc and I never had to pay for anything.  You said he paid rent but I'm sure it wouldn't be as much as paying for an apartment or a house.  I liked it because I got to use my money on extras for me and didn't have to worry about all the bills that come with having your own place....heck I don't know.  You might just have to sit him down and have a talk with him about why he doesn't want to move out?!?

Answer 2

can i get his #  ?  i'm 26 and still live with my mom.  not because i want to.  i can't afford it alone....

Answer 3

Wow, you would be best going to family counseling to see whats up or asking him hinting questions like "hey, so i looked at apartments and condos on the internet today and did you know that there building these brand new apartments down on (whatever) street. They'd be perfect for someone that likes the clubs and all that other stuff downtown."

That wasn't great but I'm sure you understand the idea.

Answer 4

I can't relate. We were all tossed out on our keisters at 18 or 19. Just tell him that it's time and give him 3 months to find a place. He has officially entered the ''weird" category for a guy his age. It will just get weirder as he gets older and become more of a turn-off for prospective mates, relationships, etc. I'm sorry but he doesn't have much pride if he's still living with mommy and daddy at his age. Good luck. It's for his own good.

Answer 5

It sounds like immaturity to me. All children should be thrown out as soon as they finish school, just like other animal species send their young off to learn to live in the world. Learning independence is good for them, and for the parents.

Seriously, I left home a year before I finished studying to rent with my girlfriend. We married and bought our first house when I was 24.

Try, "Son, you are a grown man, get your own place."

Answer 6

Ok...first of all I wouldn't have dated a man who still lives at home no matter what money he had..quality women probably pass him up when they discover this...because they think he has a controling mother...or he is lazy.......however untrue that is...

tell him that you want grandkids someday and that he will never find a decent wife if he doesn't move out. tell him "its time"..and that you want some privacy with his father...after all haven't you earned it?

Tel him he is welcome to visit, but he needs his own place to sleep, so you and your hubby can do the romantic stuff again...you have an identity as a wife and as a woman..not just as a mother!

Answer 7

Get him to watch "Failure to Launch" with you, and once the movie is over tell him "hint-hint"...

Answer 8

It's called "Tough Love."

Tell him that he is now old enough to be on his own, he is earning sufficient income to afford a place of his own, and so he has 2 weeks to pack up, find a place to live, and move out.... PERIOD.  That's it.  No if's, and's, or but's.... OUT.

It's not going to be easy to do.  That's why it's called "Tough Love."

There's no negotiating... he must move out.  No matter what his excuses or reasons, it's out... out out out out.

Of course, you have to have your husband's support in this, and BOTH of you to "confront" him as a "united front."  Without it, you're on your own, and that will be more difficult.

Don't even pay for his moving expenses, or help with the move... he can obtain help on his own.  It is YOUR house, and you have now decided that it's time that you wish to have the house to yourselves.

Have a polite day.