What Do You Do When Your Child Doesn't Feel Safe?

Question

My 11 year old daughter was assaulted at school in which she didn't fight back. The perpertrator was expelled only to be reinstated with the same mentality. I filed charges against the child, and had a hearing with her mom. Whom by the way, feels as if her child can do no wrong. I've meet with several school officials concerning this matter.... to no avail. In the meantime, this child is still harassing not only my child, but others. One of the teachers walk the children to their destination to ensure their safety. Bullying is a nation wide problem irregardless to creed, age , gender...etc. The BOE seems to wink on such a serious matter. I mean seriously, The Board Of Education has taken a great disinterest in the safety of our children. I'm devastated. I watch my child go from being so confident and socially incline to being withdrawn from school and any of its proceedings. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I don't want u to take it the wrong way, but I'd suggest you teach her how to fight. Honestly...bullying is not stopping anytime soon. (Regardless if u transfer her to a new school or not.) And Idk where u from, but here in Memphis? We take it outside. We take it to the yard and fight it out. My mom always told me:"Kids gon talk about you...Behind ya back.And sometimes even in ya face. Let dem, shoo.They aint doin nufn but jaw jackin." Then she went on to say ((And I know ya moms done told u this before.)) "Somebody hit u?You hit they a$$ back." Lol. Eh. And true, violence doesn't necessarily solve everything. But believe you me, it's worth trying something over nothing. Cause 9 times out of 10, a person aint gon mess with somebody who stands up for themself...Jst a suggestion tho. =/

Answer 2

I can't say that this is the right answer, but it IS how I would handle it. After talking to the police, I would go to the principle, all of my child's teachers, the school board, and the other child's parents and threaten legal action if the situation wasn't resolved to my satisfaction. FOLLOW THROUGH!!! Retain a lawyer. Yes, it'll cost money, but so does a child psychologist. If it came down to it, I would take a few days off from work and spend the day with my child at school. Take a book or your knitting or whatever, but spend every minute of the school day with your child. The school administration will get the idea real quick that you mean business. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO MOVE YOUR KID TO ANOTHER SCHOOL BECAUSE THE OTHER KIDS ARE BULLIES!!!!! Take a stand. If more people did this, more schools would take this seriously. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Change schools, get her involved in counseling, get a restraining order against the little punk(s) that attacked her.  Pray with her and for her.  

The poor baby...I feel badly for both of you.  :(

Answer 4

Small private schools are a good solution. if you cant afford a private school then i would recomend having the teachers keping a good eye on your child to make sure she isn't being bothered. also try some self defence classes so that your daughter can defend herself in the worst situations at school or get the police involved. im 16 and have have been bullied quite a bit in the past but no longer have people mess w/ me because they know a close family member of mine is a local police officer and is on duty in the area during most of the school hours.

Answer 5

I was bullied pretty bad when I was in elementary school as well, I don't think there is a real reason for it other then kids can be cruel and it makes them feel good to have that power but as to doing anything about it, it is very sad that BOE lets things like this happen, I defiantly think that those kids should not be allowed back in a school where they have been so cruel to other kids. Unfortunately there isn't much parents can do because they simply just can't be at school with their children. All I can suggest would be to move your daughter to another school and maybe she will not have that problem any more. It's sad to say that this could be your only option it seems now a days.

Answer 6

Ok to the idiot that thinks homeschooling with "affect" your daughter's social skills, you are wrong. But thats not what this is about, this is about your daughter's safety! My brother was picked on in school at a young age and no one would do anything about it, my mom moved him three different times to different schools and it kept happening. The reason being was because SCHOOLS DON'T CARE! So my mom enrolled him in Martial arts. Not only did it stop the bullies, it boosted his self esteem! It only took one time for a bully to go after him and that was it! My brother didn't even have to touch to guy, but with a few little "step aside" moves he was able to thwart his bully. I was 14 when I enrolled in kung-fu and it gave me a feeling of self confidence knowing that if one of my peers came after me I would be able to handle it. I personally never had the problem with bullies though.

Answer 7

You could file a lawsuit against the school board for not providing proper security for your child.  Many states now have bullying laws!  You could also have a restraining order placed on the girl who is harassing your daughter.  I think what is tragic in this situation is that the financial burden is placed on you along with the emotional burden.  It's possible that you can find an attorney who specializes in this type of law and is sympathetic to your situation.  Lastly I would say that there is power in numbers.  If other kids are experiencing the same bullying at the hands of this person, you need to get those parents involved. Even if you don't want to take the legal route, get the parents involved and the teachers who are walking kids to class to keep them safe.  Organize a meeting and take it as far as you want to go.  Have the kids make shirts or posters so that have a voice  against bullies.  Many voices are louder than one and the kids will feel more safe if everyone can band together.  This is a super important issue and I hope that not only for your daughters sake, but for for all the kids at her school you are able to go the extra mile.

Answer 8

If this was my child, and the school was doing nothing about it, I would pull my child and homeschool.  Send a message to the school.  They will surely do something when they lose the funding they get for you child being in the district.  Also, we have told our boys to fight back when they are getting harrassed and the teachers do nothing to stop it.  Maybe she needs to know that is okay.  We also tell them that if they get in trouble for defending themselves, that is okay.  It is one thing to pick a fight but a kid has to defend themself.  Good luck and don't back down with the school.  Your kids safety should be your first concern.

Answer 9

homeschool

Answer 10

I've heard martial arts is a great confidence builder for bullied kids and it teaches them how to protect themselves.

Answer 11

The school board in your area is obviously different then our area.  Here there is zero tolerance for bullying,  you do not end up being suspended or expelled but in a special school which is very much like a prison....

The reason it is like this here is because somewhere along the lines someone took a stand.  They forced the school board to accept that the safety of the students is paramount.

In education you learn about "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs".  It states that before you can learn anything, certain conditions must be met.  One of them is safety.  If you are worried about your safety you cannot learn, if you cannot learn in school, then what is the point of school.  If learning is not being accomplished you end up with a giant day care facility, dropping test scores, and teachers out of work.

I would suggest taking a stand.

I am not one of those people that is crazy about suing, but in this case a token law suit may wake up your board.  

I say this because of your statement that one of the teachers walk the children to their destination to ensure their safety.  Therefore the teachers know there is a problem, but are limited in what they can do.  There is a frustrating problem for a bunch of people, and if properly addressed, can affect the lives of a lot more people then just your child.

Take a stand, MAKE them take notice.

Answer 12

There are alot of great answers posted on here.  I personally agree, that I would take a stand and let the principal know that "my child should not have to tolerate a bully!"  Visit the principal every time there is an issue. If you can atleast seek advice from a lawyer. Most schools these days have rules for no bullying tolerance. If all the advice you got from everyonedoesn't get you anywhere, then  I would teach my child how to defend herself so she won't be an easy target for bullies. I know that might not sound so great but I have always told my children that first let their teachers/ principal aware if there is a problem and second if it (bullying) keeps on then defend yourself, because I can't be at school to do it for them. I have always told my kids never start a fight but if someone hits you then kick butt! My kids don't get pushed around at home and it shouldn't happen at school! Good luck! No child deserves to be bullied!

Answer 13

Move her to another school.

Answer 14

Transfer to a new school. Just don't homeschool because that may effect their later social skills.But if i was assulted i would fight till my bones breck no one assults me. But i would also suggest takeing her to like karate or some other form of martial arts. It teaches you how to protect yourself and its quite fun well i really don't know if its fun cuz i've never taken it but my friend seems to enjoy it very much so i'm guessing it is.

Answer 15

does she have friends at this school? If so then I wouldn't move her unless she wants to. Bullying is in every school and it is better if she has friends. I would be in the principals office and let him know you are going to become his "best friend" as everyday there is an incedent you will be in his office. Ask him to set aside a permanant time everyday for you as you expect to be there everyday until her fixes the problem. Make yourself a pain in his butt until it is dealt with and she is expelled for good. Find the other parents od kids being bullied and approach as a group. this will make an even bigger statement that you are serious as a group about this

Answer 16

Keep pressing the school board! that bully should be the one escorted to each and every class and have no time to be alone to be able to harass any child in school!!  If school doesn't 'want to that maybe threaten that you will come and walk this bully to each class and to the bathroom and sit w/them during lunch boy this kid will be humilated!!!

Answer 17

tell her to stop being such a punk and swing dem hands on dat h0

Answer 18

moving to another school will not help.

The reason this goes on is because of the NCLB law.

This law mandates more money for schools who have no disclipline problems.

You would think that the schools would actually STOP the bad behavior in order to get that money, right?

NOPE !! They  IGNORE ALL bad behaviors because the only way the powers that be with NCLB can know if there are bad behaviors or not is by the schools written disclipline reports.

SO, ignore the bad behaviors, no reports to make, more money!!

Lots of parents have to go ahead and go to police. You have done this, ask police what to do now since it's still going on?

I would write a letter to newspaper and also contact local tv news.

Is there any way you can homeschool?

Answer 19

move to new school. but i would and i will tell my son/ daughter to fight till someone wins. dont be a whimp my dad always told me. someone slaps you slap them back!