What Do You Say To A Church Freak Who Tries to scare you into their religion???

Question

Have you ever had that happen too you? It happens too me all the time. It really makes me mad. What do you say or what would you say if someone tried to scare you into their religion. I dont say anything, i usually just sit there and nod my head, agree and go on. But i hate doing that, i wanna say something to p**s them off.

just like they p**s me off

Answer 1

I had 2 "sisters" or some such c**p come to my door once.  I think they were jehovahs.  They introduced themselves nicely, then started to talk about their god and all this c**p.  I cut them mid sentence, and said I have a religion, and that my Gods were old when theirs was a little boy.  Thank you and get off my property.  The sheer SHOCK in their eyes actually almost made me feel a little sad.  Almost.  (they were cute).

Answer 2

I use my knife and convince them that:

IF I START STABBING, GOD AINT GUNNA SAVE YOU

and they promptly exit my vicinity.

Answer 3

tell them that Jesus is the divine mercy, the all loving God, and then pray to hear him call to you.

Answer 4

"Since I don't like wasting my time, I'll tell you what. Why don't you pray for me. That way you're just wasting your time and not mine. If your god is real, he'll talk to me personally."

Answer 5

I try to ignore them

if they persist, I just flick them off

Answer 6

why are there 20 thousand different denominations of the Christan religion. cant you agree on anything?

Answer 7

Ask him if he has accepted satan as his lord and master. :)

Answer 8

Explain that you have already dedicated your life to not being in cults.  When they try to tell you they are not a cult, ask them to tell you the difference between their religion and a cult, when they cannot tell you the difference, then tell them again that they are a cult.  Especially if they ask for money.

Answer 9

I usually hiss.

Answer 10

Qoate Albert Einstein:

"if people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for a reward then we are a very sorry lot indeed"

Answer 11

Tell them that if they do not worship Odin and die a honorable death that they will freeze for eternity in Hel, while you enjoy the feast in the halls of Valhalla.

Answer 12

Just tell them you are unemployed, they tend to move along if they think you are not a viable source of income.  

Answer 13

If they're talking about burning in h**l, then I just respond that h**l is a fictional place invented by people to scare people into believing their religion, because they're forced to resort to trying to scare people because they can't show any truth for their claims.

Then I say, "That sort of dark-age mentality might have worked for uneducated, superstitious ancients, but it's not going to work with me."

I don't even say that for the purpose of trying to p**s them off, I just say it because it's a fact.

Answer 14

f*****k OFF works fine for me.

Answer 15

Retaliating won't get you anywhere.  You can, however, ask them politely (once) to stop.  If they do not stop, ask why they feel the need to resort to such tactics to get their message across.  Ask  what their gain is.  Ask whether they are, at that moment, living the life of Christ and whether Jesus would treat others in this manner.  It should calm them down.  If not, walk away.  I have to do it frequently.

Answer 16

Ask them to share with you the love they've learned from their religion. If it happens, both of you will benefit.

Answer 17

Yawn and say, "Whatever."

Answer 18

(if its a guy) make some reference to how his *** looks great in the pair of jeans he's wearing and wink at him...

they'll run away xD

Answer 19

Dude, you need to accept the teachings of Jesus Christ before it's too late, and you end up burning in an eternal lake of fire in h**l.

*Edit*  I'm approaching a personal record with the 11 thumbs down.  Keep 'em coming!

Answer 20

It sounds to me that you have handled the situation maturely.

Answer 21

"Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here."  

Answer 22

absit invidia: let ill will be absent

Don't act out of malice towards them. Just tell them thanks for sharing and would they please take it somewhere else. Remind them that you, as an individual, have a right to privacy, just as they do. If it gets really ugly, threaten to call the authorities for breach of the peace.

Answer 23

I always tell them that I fulfilled my life-long quota for religion by the age of 18.

If they continue, I ask them specific questions about their private parts <male or female>

I then explain that my religion, to me, is as private as their genitals are to them.

If they still don't get it, I get ugly.

Answer 24

You say, "Hi, Chris!"