What Do You Think Of These Poems?? Be Honest Please?

Question

Poem 1

Staring at the garden I wonder

Why don't black roses grow

And why dont white roses come with blood

But right now all I want

Is my lack Rose From Mr Right

Poem 2

Every night laying in bed

Fighting the pain

Fighting the tears

Wanting iit all to end

Oh how i wish that it all could just end

and then I pray when

I wake up I find that it is

All just a dream

And that it never

Really Happened

Answer 1

Shakespeare hates your emo poems.

Answer 2

sad but not bad =)

Answer 3

They are good if your a dark souled person.

Try to think more positive and make brighter poems to light people up, instead of darkening their ideas.

Answer 4

to be Honest these are great and passionate poems

but they lack something and i'm not sure what??!!

Answer 5

depressing, sorry.

Answer 6

poem 1

the last line says lack rose from mr...

poem 2

4th line double i in the it

Answer 7

everything after 'black roses grow' was c**p.  Read the Nightengale and the Rose by Hans Christen Andersen.  

Answer 8

I like the first one especially.

In some ways it seems to be quite a traditional poem - you're wondering why Mr Right won't turn up with a rose. Simple.

BUT...at the same time the poem shows that your feelings aren't simple, and they aren't traditional. You want a black rose - not the colour normally associated with love or romance.

And then the line "and why white roses don't come with blood" - this could be read in a few ways:

1) blood is red, the colour of traditional romance / roses, so you're wondering why the roses you CAN grow (i.e. the feelings that you DO feel) doesn't fit into traditional or "normal" ideas.

2) blood could also be a symbol of courage or strength (as in "bloodless" to describe something weak or boring) - so you're wondering why you don't find so-called "pretty" flowers (i.e. normal ideas of romance) to be interesting or stimulating.

3) you see the white rose as a symbol of yourself, and you're wondering why you can't be stronger and take command of your feelings better

4) "come with blood" could also mean that you have put your own blood - i.e. your hard work and passion - into growing the roses, but they still won't "come" (i.e. flower / bloom). So you're wondering why even though you've totally committed yourself to finding love, it still hasn't happened.

And in the last line, i love that typo, you wrote "lack" instead of "black" which is sort of fitting - this is a poem about the "lack" of something after all.

Answer 9

NOT BAD

B+

Answer 10

ok

Answer 11

LOVE THEM!

very descrpitive

and emotional!

dont listen to the others

they dont have a poetic side

i think you've used metaphors wisely

and alot of people could relate

well done!

Answer 12

very expressive,good,looks like u have great sorrow

Answer 13

They need more of a sense of rhythm, at the moment they look like prose broken up into lines.