What Is She Up To?

Question

I have a nephew who I take care of on the weekends, and I buy him tons of clothes usually name brand and very expensive. I love him and want the best ok. I always send a size or two bigger to her. Even sent brand new back packs, tickle me Elmo and all that.

Now, he lives with his mom and my brother pays child support to the mother..... Every time my neph, comes she sends the most cheapest clothes and clothes that were from 2-3 years ago worn out, and frayed, which makes him look poor and uncared for. It makes me upset and I have asked her what about the clothes, and she claim he outgrows them.

I have documented and taken pictures of all the clothes I send and she is lying. What does she do with these clothes and items? Why does she lie???

Answer 1

are you close to the mother?

how far away are you from them?

i'f you're willing, i'd see if you could be the caregiver..you know..if you reallythink it's a big enough deal.

i probably would.

does anyone else live with her like an adult or teen? i'd ask them also.

Answer 2

well, first of all, have you ever seen what a young boy can do to a good pair of jeans?

second, some moms send kids to visit dad wearing the worn out clothes because dads sometimes let kids rough house more or play in the dirt, or they just don't wash stuff as much (some of my clients do this--claim it saves a ton in clothing expenses).

third, if you want to give him stuff, give it to your brother so he can wear the clothes and play with the toys while he's at his dads. that way you can monitor everything.

fourth, kids do grow fast. it's more important for kids to be loved and taught values and morals than to wear the hot brands. seriously.

EDIT: some name brands do last longer. it just depends on what's more important--the status of the name brand or the character of the person wearing it.

Answer 3

My Cousin's mom used to do the same thing when he was younger...basically she's trying to make you guys buy him more I'm not saying that its wrong for you to buy your nephew stuff...but what she's saying of it is "let them buy you some clothes...let them pay for this" because she wants to see if you'll actually do it and when you do she just really is saying that she wants more or she wants to see how far you guys will go. What my uncle did was he kept on buying my cousin good clothes and kept them over his house for whenever he came over but when he went home he would go to K mart or Walmart or Target and would buy him some cheap clothes and send my cousin home with them on...that way his mom couldn't say that he wasn't buying him new stuff. Now that my cousin is older he has realized the games that his mom played and he now lives with my uncle (his dad)...I'm not saying for you guys to do this but I'm just sharing what my uncle did and what worked for him.

Good luck

Answer 4

just keep the nice clothes at ur house it'll save u trouble all around cuz u wont spend so much on clothes n if he get anything dirty u;ll have a change of clothes on hand.

Answer 5

i think she tried to show that she doesn't need help and that they aren't poor. this may be a form of jealousy but just talk to her and stuff. and try to get really close to her.

Answer 6

she is tryin to act like ur brother ain't sending child support so it looks like she don't have no money. mainly she is tryin to make her son look poor so it looks like ur brother not supporting his son

Answer 7

Well, it's pretty clear what is happening here. She's probably just keeping the good clothes and sending him with the ratty clothes so that your bleeding heart will continue to keep the little one in style.

Or

She may feel like an inadiquate parent when people ask "Oh where'd he get such nice clothes?" and she must reply about how she couldn't afford them and the wealthy aunt bought them.

Easy fix, ask.

Easier fix, buy more inexpensive clothes in greater quantity.

I would probably go with the second. However pure your intentions, It is a little impolite to be overly gracious to a child keeping them in an unreasonable fashion echelons above what the caregivers can provide. It could create useless tension between the gifter and the caregiver and the caregiver and the child.

Answer 8

She doesn't like you.

Answer 9

maybe she doesnt want you to buy things for this kid because it makes her feel like she cant do it for herself. then she with the child support money she buys things for her own personal self?

Answer 10

Maybe selling the name brand stuff for money.  Just a thought.

Answer 11

why doesn't your brother try to take him away

ask around maybe she is selling the stuff

isn't he old enough to ask him where his stuff is like the toys

Answer 12

maybe you should buy clothes for when he is with you and keep them at your house-my sister was the same way with her daughter and everyone in the family was buying her clothes and winter jackets(we still have no idea what happened to all the clothes) but we started keeping a wardrobe at our house for her so she at least looked nice at our house and when we went out. and when a wedding or something came up we bring an outfit that is fitting for the occasion, baby wipes to freshen her up, a hair brush and ties. now at least she can feel good some of the time-she spends way more time at families houses than at her own.

Answer 13

Well... idk.

Answer 14

she could be throwing them away or she just does not like you.people lie becouse they want to feal better and have no sence of direction and realy dont care fore any one else. it could also be that the kid does not like it.

Answer 15

could be selling the items. i had a family member that did the same thing. she was a herione addict tho, but it took us finally realizing what was going on for us to get her help.

Answer 16

She is probably selling them at a consignment or eBay.  Sorry to say but if you want to buy your nephew clothes you will have to keep them at your house.  no reason to be feeding someone else's bank account and the person you bought it for doesn't even benefit.

Answer 17

is she selling them for some kind of bad habit she has possibly? No one can lose that much stuff.

Answer 18

Do the clothes have the tags on them??  My guess is that she's returning the items and using the cash for something else!!  :(

Answer 19

I would quit sending the good stuff home with him and keep it at your house. Start buying Wal-mart stuff to send home for awhile and see if she says anything. She may be selling the stuff at a consignment shop.

Answer 20

I think maybe your nephews mother is feeling maybe jealous about the fact that you are able to provide her son with decent infact in your case expensive and good things where as she probably isn't able to afford that kind of stuff.

I know you are just sending him things because you dearly love him but his mother might be feeling a bit insecure and worried about that fact that maybe her son will like you better because you can give him things she can't.

Just back off for a while, and don't send things to him for a while, and when you do, don't buy really expensive clothes because it may seem like you are showing off that you have more money.

She might be sellin the stuff for more money.

Anyways I hope all gets well and Best of Luck! :)

Answer 21

she sells it or returns them(exchange if no reciept)