What Should I Do About My God Daughter?

Question

My 14 year old god daughter had a bad pregnancy experence. She was 13 and found out she was pregant and was really worried about it, she tried to kill her self but didn't manage. She talked to me about it and i told her it would all be alright. She wanted to keep the baby but at 4months she lost it. Now she is back with the boyfriend and says she is going to be sencible but i know all she really wants now is the baby she lost and i'm worried she will try to get pregnant again to replace it. She is 14 and extreamly cleaver at school and could do any thing she wants with her life and i don't want all her potential to be thrown away because she wants a baby so much. What should i do? please help!

Answer 1

help he to get on birth control if she isn't already. an IUD is a good one because she cant simple just stop taking it and then pretend that it was an "accident"

Maybe you can do like that baby borrower show and find someone with a baby and make her take care of it ALL DAY and see what its really like.

Answer 2

talk to her. tell her how long she has to have another baby. tell her how much you love her and that you are here for her if she needs to talk about that tramatic experience. tell her that if she had a child now, she wouldnt be able to go to school bc she would have to look after it and then she wouldnt be able to support her daughter bc she would have no money and no job bc she is too young to work.

tell her you understand why she would want to try and get pregnant again, but also tell her that she has a long life to live. then ask her, wouldnt she rather have a child with a man she loves and cares about than a boy she could possibly lose any day now?

then tell her how much you love her again and say all you care about is her happiness. and if its a child she wants than you will support her, even though you think she should wait.

Answer 3

are there no adults to supervise this young girl? she should be separated from this "guy" and nobody is mature enough or has the guts to do the right thing..she is going to experience a lot of heart ache with this guy ..but as long as you and other enable her to continue this destructive lifestyle

then she will never grow up and mature..she is not old enoughh or mature enoug..she needs an intervention

Answer 4

Demand that her and this boy end their realtionship, otherwise, you all can just  plan on her having another pregnancy.  Demand that she join some

extra -curricular activities at school and church, so that she will have good things to do with her time.  I have found that when children have nothing to do with their time, they will find something to do with their time.  They typically, do not find the things to do that we would like for them to do.  Get her involved in some kind of organized activity.  13 and pregnant, is absolutely ridiculious.

Answer 5

This is a very common problem now. Research shows that those girls who didn't get proper care & love in their life are gonna get a baby by any means. Actually they wana give their love & care to their babies which they didn't get. Only proper care & gentle love can help. May God bless u.

Answer 6

Losing a baby is very hard, especially at a young age when you haven't developed all the coping mechanisms you have as an adult. She may be experiencing a wide range of emotions, including guilt, regret, sadness, fear and self-loathing.

It sounds like you care about her very much and are supportive of her. I can understand that you are worried about her, but remember that she must find her own path in this. You cannot prevent her from being with her boyfriend, or trying to become pregnant again  if that is what she wishes. Being too strict or imposing rules on her at this time may increase her distress. However, by providing support and guidance you may be able to help her cope with her pain in a better way.

Start by having a talk with her. It sounds that you are already close if you have talked about these things before, and you may be able to give her much needed support. Be genuine. Tell her what a beautiful life you see ahead for her, and that you are worried about her making decisions based on her current distress rather than on improving her life.

Sometimes it is helpful to know that others have experiences similar things. She might take heart in knowing that many women lose their first babies, and that at her young age it is possible her body wasn't able to handle a pregnancy. She may not be ready. If she is still dealing with the emotional turmoil of her first unplanned pregnancy and subsequently losing the baby, she may be very focused on her pain and require some professional counseling to help her work through this difficult and intense emotions.

Give her credit for everything she's been through. She is a strong person, and has been through a very trying few years. Even just acknowledging this with her might help. Do show her some trust. She may want a baby but she may also realize that it is not for the best right now. If she assures you that she does not intend to be pregnant, don't press the issue.

Please remember that if she does succeed in getting pregnant, or has another unplanned pregnancy, it is not because you have failed her. Sometimes when we are in great distress we will do anything to alleviate this pain. If she strongly feels that having another baby will help her cope with this pain, she may become pregnant again. If this is the case, try to offer support and guidance rather than blame. I know you see a life of potential ahead of her and do not want to see this lost, but she may have a different view, and you must respect that. She may have some difficult at school as she gets through this and may even take some time off to be a mother. But she can always go back later on if it's in the cards for her.

You could have a talk about her future with her if you wish. Ask her what her hopes and dreams are, what she wants to do with her life and what she feels she has potential for. Tell her you believe in her. She may not know what she wants right away, but this may provoke some thought with her.

The most important thing is that she evidently has a family who loves her, she is a bright girl, and will be clever at whatever she wants to do in life, whether that means being a young mother or becoming a doctor.

Good luck!

Answer 7

well c is rele brave 2 want 2 hav a baby at this age, but try explaining 2 her from ur point of view...

Answer 8

It's good to see a God-parent so involved.  You have to talk to her parents.  Since she is so emotionally unstable she needs some help.  If they are not in the picture and you are now her guardian get her into counseling.  She needs to grieve for the loss of her baby.   counselors are readily available in every state or she can confide in her pastor or school counselors.  Losing a baby would drive anyone crazy not to mention the sudden loss of all the hormones that you have when you are pregnant.  This is why women can get post-partum depression.  

At 14 there is really no reason she needs to be alone with her boyfriend.   If you suspect that she is going to try and get pregnant make it difficult for her.  She needs comfort but a strong hand.  She needs to be shown the realities of life.  

There are a lot of teens that are seduced by the thought of having a baby but they have no idea what they are getting into.  Some teen moms are great with the blessings of their parents and supportive family.  However, it should not be done on purpose... though some girls do (most the time in order to try to keep their bf).  

Obviously she is in an emotional state and those things need to be addressed before anything happens.  

I will pray for her and that those in charge will be given wisdom.  I pray that she gets the help she needs.

Blessings:)

Answer 9

it's simple. kill the batman

Answer 10

I sure hope your God Daughter  thinks straight , but in the mean time , buy her this book , believe me it's BRILLIANT !! The book's name is "The six decisions you will ever make" by Sean Covey -son of Stephen covey and it's written for kids ,I mean teens.It must be there at the local bookstore , otherwise place an online order for it , believe me , it's worth it.The book's in pretty casually . Make her read it and I guarantee you will see some changes.

Answer 11

She is lacking something in her life. Where are her parents?  Have her volunteer at a daycare or babysit. She needs to know that parenting is a hard job!  She also needs to be on birth control. You know she is sexually active and she needs to protect herself.

Answer 12

talk to her its all you can do she is no where near redy for a baby age wise poor her she has been through alot explain it could happen again ect good look

Answer 13

Take her to Planned Parenthood to get birth control! She doesn't need a baby right now.

*edited* I wanted to add that maybe you should try getting her some counseling too, that might help her deal with the loss of her baby.

Answer 14

just talk to her about it and tell her how she wouldn't be able to go out with her friends or anything like that

Answer 15

i think every girl gets that feeling. and say to her not to try and get pregnant and use protection because you can't afford a baby there alot of money to keep! also say to her that when shes older and the time is right and she falls pregnant then it was the right time for her and everything happens for a reason. so when shes older and more stable with life she will fall pregnant again and it will be ment to be when it happens xx

Answer 16

tell her not to have a baby

make her watch the chow "baby borrowers" on NBC

Answer 17

She will not make that mistake again. Might surely have romance for sure

Answer 18

Try to arrange for her to be in charge of a baby or toddler for a day, (try to make it a difficult child) that might change her mind! I also think she should be in some sort of counseling.

Answer 19

I think you should firstly talk to her parents about this.  It's good that you are there for her and she can talk to you and you want the best for her, to guide her as a good Godparent, but her parents really need to deal with this.

Hope all goes well.

Answer 20

No FRIKKIN WAY!

Are you kidding me? Ok, this is why children are the way they are. She is a baby-how can she have a baby?

Lay the rules down, don't tell the parents unless you cannot handle it. never ruin trust with a teen.

Tell her no more babys, no more s*x. Give her a shell shock, take her to a baby ward for teens and underage mothers. Take her to a nursery or an environment with babies. Show her the consequences of abortion if she carries on making mistakes...

Overall, MAKE her learn! Please!

Answer 21

She wants a baby at 14?

She's obviously not very cleaver @_@

Explain to her that she cannot take care of the baby herself, and that life is more interesting if you aren't tied down. She's obviously too young to understand any of what's going on >.>

Answer 22

bring a baby into her home, where she has to look after it, feed it, clean up shite... on her school holidays.... show her the reality of actually having a baby... really emphasise to her the real downfalls of being a young mother and what she would miss out on... or send her on an oversea's trip so she gets the travel bug!!! Good luck, you're a fairy godmother! : )

Answer 23

she could take some parenting classes and babysit.. then she wont have the full responsibility of taking care of a baby but she would still feel important.  I'm only 14 and if i was having a baby i couldn't handle it.  i do babysit though, and if you babysit for the same people then it fells after a while that the kid is like yours, but you don't have all of the expenses.  it's a lot less stressful too (:

hope i helped (: