What Should I Do About This A$ Hole??

Question

Well first in for most im not asking this question to get rude feedback, so if thats the case, keep it movin!! but anyways.... Im 31 weeks pregnant, and me and my baby's father are more like friends then boyfriend n girlfriend, but we do hang out, have s*x, talk, and keep in contact, but sometimes things do go a little sour, but during the whole time of my pregnancy ive been hearing nothin but talk!!

i told him the babies due in nov, and i need for him to get certain items before then, and he hasnt bought or done anything for her yet... and he saids im gonna do this, im gonna do that, my baby is gonna have everything she needs, and ill be sure to get this and ill be sure to get that, but for some reason its botherin me in the back of my mind, and somethings tellin me not to trust him, and i honestly dont believe him... so what the h**l am i suppose to do?? seriously! i was thinkin child support but i want us to remain cool, but i honestly dont need him, i jus hate for people to tell me there gonna do somethin and dont do it, u know wat i mean??

Answer 1

You do not have to do anything about him because one of these days, soon, he will simply disappear and all your problems are solved.

Answer 2

One thing is for sure - if he is an *** hole - perhaps you shouldn;t have slept with him 29 weeks ago.

What you can do now is give him the ultimatum...  pull his socks up or pay the child support...  make it his choice and then follow through if he still acts like a ***.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Since you basically requested we refrain from rude feedback I will tell you what I know little of.

The state loves to go after dead beats, especially if you're on welfare or medical benefits requiring financial aid from our taxpayer dollars.

I predict that this guy is shady has no respect for you and may possibly claim that this baby isn't his.

My advice is have a backup plan, talk to mom and dad about it. You already did the deed before marriage so they can't really be disappointed anymore than they already are.

Answer 4

My BD is a dead beat too. Get everything yourself, and if he does buy something eventually sell it on ebay. You can buy diapers with that money.

Answer 5

Well the nest time he says he is going to get something for the baby say well lets go pick it out together. It puts him in a situation where not only do you get to pick out what you like but he won't feel so awkward going into the stores picking out little girl things. As for the child support I think you should file for it anyways. If it hurts your friendship over it then it wasn't that strong to begin with. And you might not need the money now but if something happens you want to know your little girl is taken care of and he should want the same thing. I wouldn't just spring it on him though I think you should sit down and voice your opions with him because guys really are clueless when it comes to what we are thinking about so something that is a big deal to you may not even be on his list of priorties.

Answer 6

i feel you. he sounds like he has more important things to do than help you with the baby, unfortunately. try not to get irate with him just yet. he could just be thinking its too early, since she is due in nov. wait and see what he does then make your decision after the baby's born. if he doesnt help, just keep him out of your life, dont even keep contact or try to get child support. thats drama you dont need, and you dont need to be constantly reminded of him. but who knows, maybe he is a good guy and its just your hormones playin with you head?

Answer 7

I would get as much as you are able alone and if he does buy something you can always return it for something else you need because there is always something, not to sound mean or anything but maybe he has doubts if the baby is actually his and he does not want to buy a bunch of things for a child that is not his, stranger things have happened.  I hope that is not the case but tell him that you need to have EVERYTHING in six weeks no later because really you can deliver anytime after 37 weeks and everything is developed just fine.  Hope everything works out for you, if you have limited money for these things, then try second hand shops, garage sales, or your local free cycle sites,   the only thing I'd say you really should buy new for sure is the car seat.

Answer 8

well go for child support i mean thats the best choice h**l my sister is with her BD of 3 and he has to pay child support for them and the same goes for her other BD. do child support. then if you still need the necessities like bassinet clothes so on and so forth go to freecycle.org join the group in your area and post a wanted add and hope some people will help you out. thats what the group is about is to recycle items and help needy families out.  also if you went to your church they could help you out as well. hmmmmmmm craigslist.com you can get items for decent prices as well.

but sounds to me your BD is a dead beat and good for nothing liar dont rely on him for nothing rely on family and thats it ask friends and family for help and maybe ask for a baby shower since you still need a few items.

congrats and good luck

Answer 9

he can keep saying he will and never do it believe me, go to court get child support that's the only way he will actually grow up and help you out

Answer 10

My baby's daddy and I are about the same, except a little bit worse. And I don't trust that he will buy anything, so I am not even going to expect anything.

Answer 11

Well sweetie, this may be a hard pill to swallow but, he may not trust you.  Perhaps he may have in the back of his mind that the baby may not be his.  Guys really get silly sometimes, and especially when a woman says she is pregnant.  Perhaps, have a deep discussion about it.  It may turn up some sour feelings it may not, but at least then you may find out the truth of where his inconsistency is coming from.

Wish You Well...

Answer 12

Hi, poor you all this stress while pregnant isn`t good, this should be a happy time for you.Make sure you have some timeout  and make a plan to do something nice for yourself tonight. Never the less lets get to the question. This guy does need to show some commitment. I would be honest with him and tell him straight up that he needs to start putting his money where his mouth is.

Give him a deadline for buying the baby the things you need i would say 20th Sept if the bubs due in Nov. Write a list of essential items that you will need for the first month or  and ask him to pick a couple of items of the list a week.

See if he does it.  if he doesn`t it gives you 6 weeks to go and get the items for yourself. Now if he doesn`t support you with money to buy these  items you`ll have to get tough and go the child support route. Its not nice but the reality is you`ll both need money to support yourselves, he is the father after all  and you cannot live on thin air. If this guy is reasonable he`ll accept that he was given the chance but didn`t come up with the goods. Start the boundaries tough from the start, you don`t want your life, nor the babies to be one disappointment after the next. If he cannot live up to it there will be plenty of opportunity in the future to meet a guy that can.

Good luck

Answer 13

Yeah

He sounds,interesting

You need to go to court and file for child support  wheather you need it or not.

Hes not going to help you otherwise

And why would your kid need a dead beat dad?

Plus hes obviously not taking very good care of his daughter if you didnt know she even exhisted for half of her life!

good luck

Answer 14

I broke up with my sons father before I even found out I was pregnant and when I told him he promised to help me out and buy stuff etc. He then got a new girlfriend and conveniently 'forgot' to help me out. I ended up buying everything out of my own pocket and when my son was born, I applied for child support. My son is now 7 and we are doing fine without him.  

Just remember he was involved in making this baby and you are entitled to receive child support from him, whether you want things to remain cool between the two of you or not. Make him own up to his responsibility.

Good Luck!

Answer 15

I would just tell him...Hey you're my friend and I want us to stay cool but my baby is the most important thing in my life and I am going to make sure she has everything she needs to you can either step up and be a father right now or I'm going to have to go to court and get child support. Tell him that you are not waiting, but he has the choice.

Good luck :)

Answer 16

go to court, get child support and in the future don't breed with losers.  

Answer 17

Have you tried going shopping with him???? if you say you guys go out just randomly take him to a store and make him buy something for her. He WILL NOT BUY IT ON HIS OWN! My bf didnt buy anything on his own. hed rather give me the money to buy it. As long as he gives you the money to buy the things, u should be ok. I know as being a mom to be u wish he were excited to buy her cute things. I know u probably are and already have a bunch of baby outfits. Some guys are different and are "not into that". If nothing comes out of his pocket, sorry but then child support.