What The Can I Do? (Long Question But I Really Need Answers)

Question

My mum and I have NEVER had a good relationship. Im 15 and she is 35. Her and my dad were always arguing and I stayed with my gran most of my early years because both my parents worked nightshift. When I stayed with my parents I was constantly getting shouted at etc. Then, at 28 my mum had my younger brother then, 15 months later she had my other brother. Then, 2 years ago my mum and dad split up. My mum and I get on sometimes and other times she just drives me nuts - I can't stand her. She has recently lost weight, and can now fit into my clothes - so of course she shows off to me about how shes lost 3 stone and is a size 10. It drives me nuts. Now, she has two jobs, also, to keep us going - to give us a good life. She has friends now and goes out clubbing at the weekends. My brothers stay with my dad every 2nd weekend and I don't get asked if I wanna stay - so if my mums goin out one night when my brothers are at my dads I dont even get asked what i'm doing - I just automatically have to go to my grans, even if i've made plans. Also, she makes me come home at 9pm every night - even when i'm not at school the next day. She says i'm out too long - but the truth si - I don't wanna be in the same house as her. She now is complaining about me having a boyfriend, she has taken my house keys from me because I was coming home half an hour late. I just want away from her. She shouted at me for using her brush the other day there when she is the one who wears my clothes. Then she has the cheek to ask me to put "fake tan" on her back - I am soo unhappy - I actually want to die. I hate my life - everything about it. I'm constantly getting into bother about my school work and my brothers are 6 & 7 so are very annoying and to top it all off, my mum wants me to stay with her so I can't stay with my dad. I hate her so much and I hate myself, my mum hates me and she has made my gran (the only woman who I love) hate me, they both said I was selfish and spoiled. What can I do?

Answer 1

for one thing noones listening to your feelings ask for consuling  to express how you feel it is not wrong to feel resentful for your moms bragging but she really is proud of herself for the weight loss and probally wishs you were too consuling could help you both understand each others feelings and have a more tolarable relationship without her having to get grandma as a reinforcement  maybe your dad or a teacher could help you and your mom get on better playing field it probally is hard not to resent her when she seems to be unconsiously compeating with you dress size clubbing etc but she probally loves you but even us adults can get blinded so ask a go between to help with consuling so you can express yourself

Answer 2

talk to your school councelor

some of it your wrong about, other things your rigth about and they can help you with those hopefully

Answer 3

first start of everyday my looking in the mirror and say

" i am a beautiful person, and today will be a good day"

you shall not hate yourself, because other wise that is what you give off to the people around you. If you act a certain way, that energy will be drawn to you. So if your angry, people will get angry at you. If your happy, and try and live your life as best you can, then you get attract good things.

Your mind is powerful, and remember your life is what you make it to be.

Don't let you family hold you down, im sure there is an amazing person inside you. i would know im fifteen too. We just need to find our own place in the world sometimes. At first we will be alone, but the you find that angel that makes your life perfect.

If you wait with hope, good things will come your way.

Answer 4

The 1st thing is do not let your school work suffer.This is your way of having a decent life after you leave home.Trust me,without that you have nothing.Plus you are playing into their hands by failing at school.

Could you not live with your Dad? Your Mum has no say as you are 15 and old enough to choose where you live.

It is not written in stone that parents and children have to get along.You are bth individual and are probably clashing.When you are older and move on you will probably find you get on better.

As for your Mum having a social life etc now,she prehaps thinks you are old enough to sort yourself out.Not right,but it's probably what she thinks.

I'm sure your Mum loves you deep down.It's a tricky age on your part and your Mum is also starting to get her life back now.

She obviously cares otherwise she wouldn't set times to come in or make sure you are at your Grans when she is out.

I have a 15 year old and she has to be in at 9 too.I think it's a reasonable time to be in.

Trust me things will get better.And i'm positive that your Mum loves you.

Have you thought about talking to her properly?Maybe suggesting a day in town or something?

I hope you sort this out.

Hang in there!

Hugs

:O)

Answer 5

just get on with it, you can choose your friends but not your family!  

Answer 6

Ask your dad if you can live with him hon.I agree with her taking the house keys and makiing you come in early though.Not to be mean to you hon, but with your feeling unloved and your hormones going crazy, being alone with a guy at night that your horny for is the LAST thing you need right now.

Your mom needs a boot up her rear though.If you go live qwith yuor dad, then you can copy this question and e-mail it to her.That will make her think.She will either get mad and deny she has  done anything wrong or apologize.All you can do is wait and see.

Answer 7

aww im really sorry to hear that, i have a similiar problem with my mum, i have 2 younger sisters and my mum is always going off her nut at me. We just have to stick through it till we can move out of home and thats the time they will realise how much of a nightmare they were. It does sound like your mum cares about you though seeing she works 2 jobs to support everyone. I blame stress for these things.

Answer 8

I think your mum is very unreasonable, and doesn't understand you and what you want or need. I also think its not fair on you being controlled and treated as if your irresponsible. I think you are a good person, you appreciate you mum working hard to support the family.

I think your mum is being quite selfish, and maybe she deserves to be since she's had a tough marriage and she is a single mother and has two jobs. I think she's is trying to be happy and start afresh, be free and enjoy herself and gain confidence. BUT she is forgetting about you and your needs. Maybe she thinks since you're the oldest, you can take care of yourself whilst I go out and have fun. But every child needs their parent.

I think what needs to be done is for both of you to understand each other, you can do this be saying to her 'Can we talk?'...I think you mum needs to realise how she is making you feel and how you believe you are being treated unfairly. Try not to argue or shout, instead raise you voice.

I understand how neglected you must feel by everyone which has increased resentment of your family and for yourself unfortunately. But you must realise that you are important and so is your happiness. It's great to hear your mum moving on with her life, losing weight, having friends,and socialising, but she is forgetting you in particular.

You both need a looong talk. Let nothing get in ther way of it. But not just a one off talking session do it everyweek as often as you can or want.

She also needs to respect what you want too. I really feel for you. I hope i've helped even if its just a little bit and that things start improving...

If you want to talk more send a message ^_^

Good luck and take care.

Answer 9

Nothing, you go to school get your education and appreciate your mother and all she has sacrificed for you. Or go live with your dad.