What Would You Do If You Were In My Position?

Question

I am 17 years old, and have been having a rough time these past few months. I am trying to recover from an eating disorder, and i recently went to a doctor who told me i have to gain weight now or i will be admitted into inpatient. (i am 5'4, 80lbs) Part of me wants to gain a little weight because i am hoping it will make me feel better, but part of me is afraid i will become out of control and everything will go all wrong. The doctor was really rude though, but she told me and my mother that i have to keep seeing her or she will call child services on my mother. I have been eating well (around 2000 calories a day, sometimes a little more) but i am afraid this won't be enough. My mom knows i am trying, but i am afraid she will send me to the hospital if the doctor tells her to. I am also very depressed and anxious about many things (starting school, my parent's divorce, the weight gain thing), and i cry almost every day. I feel selfish for saying this, but sometimes i just wish i wasn't living. I have tried talking to my mom about this, but she is stressed as it is and she is rarely home (she likes to go out and drink with friends). Sorry, i know i rambled on, but honestly, what would you do in my situation? Any advice?

Answer 1

It really sucks that this doctor who's supposed to be helping you is so rude. As if on top of all of your stress and problems you need someone threatening to send you away. While she doesn't sound like she's a very warm person, your doctor likely sees that you have a problem and wants to put you someplace you can get better.

You mentioned that you're afraid to gain weight because you might "become out of control". The sad truth is that if you've let it go this far and you're this small, you've already lost control. Your eating disorder has the control now, even if it feels like you do. It's great that you're eating the 2,000 calories a day. You're showing that you can beat this and are serious about it.

You mentioned that your mom drinks. Does she do this a lot? If you know anyone with a drinking problem, you probably know just by observing it that an addiction is a hard thing to overcome. You have an addiction to not eating, and despite your best intentions, it can still take the wheel. If I were you, I'd see a psychologist and keep eating the 2,000 a day. Maybe make another appointment with your doctor so she knows you're taking it seriously and say, "How much should I be eating? I've been eating at least 2,000 a day. Is this healthy?"

If you show her that you're serious and keep eating enough, plus find a good therapist who specializes in eating disorders, you can beat this. If you lose control again and it gets worse, don't be afraid to get help. A lot of people wait a long time and it just makes it that much harder. Nip this in the bud now before it gets any further. If you mess up, try again. It's not all or nothing; it's a process. You can do this!  

Answer 2

I've been in your situation and know how hard it is to gain back that weight when you don't really want to. Eat small meals each hour, around 100 to 400 calories. When school starts back, try to focus on your studies and eat at school. If you start thinking about suicide, talk to your councilor, its free and very helpful.

What really helps is if you keep a diary, it is a vent to your problems and helps you stay on the right track, kind of like a silent listener.

Hope you get better and stay strong!

Answer 3

Your situation is tough. Your health is your wealth. Take charge of it.You will only look beautiful if you feel beautiful and you can you can only feel beautiful if you are healthy. You won't overeat if you strictly follow the diet the nutritionist had adviced. Once you've attained proper health, then you can deal with the other problems. The divorce is h**l on your mum but she's dealing with it wrongly. Look forward to school. Seek help via a school councellor. Study hard, do well in your exams and lead a better life than that of your mum. Good luck.  

Answer 4

Well your problem is that your mother is really never there to pay attention to your needs. Your mother is an alcoholic, and I would suggest living with your father. What does your dad say about this?

Trust me school is nothing. Your a good person and your worth living. School kids are mean, especially if you are that underweight. Maybe you should get a better doctor, since she isn't reccomending you a counseler. As for your parents request to live with your Dad, since your mom isn't stable enough.

My parents divorced when I was 4, Dad died when I was 11 and my mother was always out as well. I got a job when I was 14 and kept me busy for 5 years till I moved out and had a life of my own.

Sometimes parents don't always make the best decisions but you can by turning your life around. I would start eating and request to go to a counselor. You should seek proffesional help, but not that of a hospital.

I feel sorry for you, do you have any good role models that you can live with? Like an Aunt or an Grandparent?

I love you, and there are a lot worse things out there then Bad parents. TRUST ME!! Things can only get better, you get your own place, I have a dog and a Job, as well as go to school.

Answer 5

You may have seen a doctor but exactly how did he help you...did he tell you you needed to start healing from the inside then to the outside?  You have to face the depressed and anxious feelings first, build self esteem and realize that the things going on around you are not your fault like your parent's divorce!  You are 17 and have a whole lifetime of things to live for.  I would suggest you find a counselor or therapist who will teach you techniques to deal with issues in a healthier way not just put them aside to come up later!  Ever minute you are breathing is a chance to make a choice to change your life and the path it is following!  Have the strength to overcome something that is achievable.  

Answer 6

just get your self together and try to stay healthy for your well being also get into some sports anything you like to keep yourself busy if you maintain yourself busy you wont have time to think or be depressed about those things that depress you stay focus go to school and be the best you could be and eat well you are very young you have allot ahead of yourself don't worry so much stay focus i think your mom is selfish because she should stay with you because you need her just remember something there is always light at the end of the tunnel take care and good luck  

Answer 7

Easy I would start school, eat at least 2500 calories a day and let your parents worry about their divorce.  You are responsible for your own weight gain and your mother shouldnt be called in to child protective services because of it.

Answer 8

Tell your mother that you would like to see a different doctor because the one you have now isn't helping you feel good about yourself. If you switch doctors, the new doctor will contact your old doctor for your medical records, so they will be unable to report you to child services.

You are eating 2000 calories a day, which will cause you to gain weight. Especially for people with eating disorders, gaining weight quickly is very hard! Your doctor should understand this (yet another reason for you to switch doctors).

Honestly, I am in awe of you. I can't imagine giving up my eating disorder.

Other than your mother, is there a friend or another family member you could talk to?

If you want to talk, feel free to email me. I completely understand where you are coming from with an eating disorder (by the way, I am 17 too)!

Answer 9

Your mom is coping with the divorce, please don't be so hard on yourself.

Talk to your older sibling or a aunt,

talk to someone

This is the bad side of divorce, a child thinks maybe they were responsible,   believe me , you were not

please talk to someone ok?

You are a good person and this is just hard on you and your Mom. God bless

I wish you nothing but the best

Jill