What about s*x?

Question

i had a conversation with my mom and now shes upset.

when i was a teenager, my mom had me and my 2 sisters terrified to have s*x. she strongly advocted against it, how it was wrong, blah blah blah. needless to say, i went through a very promescious time in my life, as well as my sisters. now i have 2 kids of my own and happily married. my boys are 13 and 15 now. well, im not going to tell my kids not to have s*x(when that time comes) i advocate protection and common sense. i know from experience that kids are going to do it regardless, so im not going to raise h**l about it.

my mom thinks i am just horrible to look at it this way. my boys know about s*x, and one even has a girlfriend. as long as he doesnt get her pregnant.whatever. am i wrong? i dont want mom to be upset with me, but we are living in a different world now, ya know?

Answer 1

I agree with you! And this isn't a biast opinion, I've always thought of it this way.

Take it from a teen myself - I've thought of how I'll raise my kids when I'm alot older, and I'm not going to be really strict, like don't go to parties, don't have s*x! I'm going to tell them, I know you're going to party - but be responsable, and let me know where you are and if you need a ride if things come up CALL ME. I'd rather know where they are and riase them to be smart. Because they're still going to do it, no matter how many times you say no. Maybe it's rebelion, who knows.

Also, as far as s*x, kids are going to do it. You can say not to, but it's best just to put your word in. Tell them it's their choice but how stupid it is so young, and of conciquices, and if they to, of protection. And if it were my daughted I'd tell her to tell me soon as the thought crosses her mind and am putting her on Birth Control!

I'd rather be involved them them hide things and do them anyways. Hope I helped!(:

Answer 2

I don't think you should scare your kids into not having s*x, but I don't think people should act as if it's no big deal either. It is a very big deal with very real consequences if they're not married. Apart from STD's and unplanned pregnancy.

Do your kids know that during s*x there is a release of the chemicle oxytocin, which causes the people having s*x to form a bond and trust that person? Every time there is a relationship failure after that sexual union has taken place, the brain's ability to produce oxytocin is inhibited. With each subsequent sexual relationship you have, you release less and less oxytocin, which hinders your ability to create a bond.

I feel hurt that my mother bought me condoms. At the time it was great, but now I feel like she thought all I was worth was a bucket of condoms. Every time I had s*x with some guy I thought I loved, I gave that guy a piece of myself, and it hurts to think that my mom thought 'myself' wasn't more valuable than just avoiding an std or pregnancy.

Kids need to know alot more than just proper condom use if they're going to make an informed decision.

This is a good video for kids who are thinking about having s*x. (There's10 parts)   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0ezYNWID...

yeah turtleba... things sure have changed. Now there's even more chances of catching std's.

Answer 3

i really don't think this is your mom's choice at all.

these are your kids and its your turn to parent. you shouldn't even feel like you have to explain your decision to her.

i also think you are right, if you teach your boys about s*x, they are more likely to do it SAFELY!

Answer 4

i think your right teens are going to do it regardless what you say. There starting younger and younger over the years. I think that your making a wise decision teaching them about it and how to do the right thing.

Answer 5

what your doing is great of course now a days all of us young people are doing things way different and if you tell us no we just do it behind your back and it just gets worse from there thats how i am 18 with an 8 month old so no you are not wrong and just dont worry about your mom she will get over it you raise your kids how you want to

Answer 6

Well you have given them the iformation. That's half the battle. I agree that kids are going to do it, most of them. So I would prefer that they at least be educated. The thing that concerns me is are they emotionally ready to take those steps. And hopefully they are responsible and use protection.

Good luck

Answer 7

there is no reason to be afraid of s*x, but i believe you should encourage waiting - waiting for marriage. So it can be shared with one person.

Answer 8

Yes , you are somewhat wrong !!!   So tell me, what if one of your boys were dating a girl with an std and he still went to have s*x anyway and caught it ??  What would you think about yourself then ? Im a 17 year old male in high school and my mom didnt raise h**l about s*x but she told me to at least wait till marrage and i will do so.  Im not judging you, but you are doing horrible in the s*x department with your kids and misleading them. Remember , 60,000 people are efected with and std everyday and 62 % are coming from people 13-24.

Answer 9

This subject is not your mother's business. You have no need to discuss it with her. If it comes up again, just cut off the conversation and go on to something else. She raised her kids. Not it's time for her to let you raise yours.

Answer 10

I personally think the best thing is to arm your kids with EDUCATION.

Make sure they are aware of the risks of STDs and pregnancy..  let them know that there is no "safe time" in a woman's cycle.. she can get pregnant ANY time!

Educate them about the different forms of protection, what they protect against, the pros and cons.

Educate them about the nasty STDs that are out there.

Talk to them about the ethics of waiting.

Kids will experiement and do what they want, but if they are at least well informed, then they can make a well informed decision.

Answer 11

I don't think your wrong. I don't think you should scare your kids about not having s*x.......

Answer 12

Those are not her kids, and you are going to raise them the best that YOU see fitted. If she doesn't like it, she should forget about it, and mind her own business.

You're not telling them to go out and have s*x. You are just explaining to them what it is all about, and if at some point in time they decide to do it, they need to be protected. There is no harm in that.

Your mother will get over it. For now, don't discuss it with her. If she insists on bringing it up, you will need to be firm and hard on her.

Answer 13

your not wrong its good when teens like maself have parents like you.

Answer 14

i don't see a problem with it.

my dad told me the same way.

DONT GET PREGNANT, or the boyfriend won't have a pinga anymore.

i listened. but i know the consequences and accept them, i also practice safe s*x.

Answer 15

To older people, this is a taboo topic.  I see where you're coming from.  Most teenagers now-a-days are going to have s*x if it is within their reach.  And a lot of teens do it for the reason that they were told not to.  Of course, that doesn't mean that you should tell them to go out and get laid, just be a little lenient on them.

Answer 16

i think you handled it perfectly.

Your mom is older, things have changed since she was a kid.

Answer 17

We aren't living in a different world now.... ya know?

Parents go to jail for advocating statutory rape.

Parents need to be parents in order for kids to be kids.  If your mom had been all, "Go out and start s******g guys the first chance you get" you would be a much different person, and probably not for the better.

Maybe instead of jumping to the other side of the fence, you should maybe find a middle ground where you teach your children that s*x is great for adults.  Teach them how to feel good about themselves and how to avoid problems while dating.  Be a good parent, and teach them how to be good kids.

That way, 20 years from now, your kids won't be saying, "I just had a fight with my mom because she let us s***w everything that walked, and I am going to teach my kids that s*x is just plain wrong and make sure they are terrified of the whole idea"

Answer 18

I do strongly agree with you on that yes, they are going to do what they want to.. but.. if you press the issue.. that it truly isn't safe.. or guaranteed happiness, that might help them with their decision. If you go on saying, "yeah.. just make sure you use protection and dont get her pregnant.." thats their "Q" to  go ahead and do it.. maybe they'll use protection, maybe one day they wont have it.. stuff happens.. so i do agree with ur mother as well.. I feel that you should give them all the advice you can, and just press the issue about making sure its the right girl, and that it shouldnt be treated lightly.. hope this mightve helped a little..

Answer 19

This isn't your moms choice, but by taking the opposite road, you're setting yourself up for some just-as-bad but entirely diffrent problems.  I'd try to find some sturdy middle ground to walk on, like discouraging s*x, or at least emphasizing the importance of it.