What about the social aspects?

Question

How do you get your children to keep up socially?

Most homeschooled kids I know are very antisocial, and that is a major downfall, no matter how smart they are. It always has been.

I'm not homeschooled, and feel bad for the kids who are, because I know without school, I would be the lonlyest person ever, and would not know how to make friends.

Please check back to this question for responses from me.

Answer 1

Actually, most homeschoolers seem to be better socialized than public schoolers. (Of course there are exceptions.) As Lisa said, most are joined with a group of other homeschoolers, from church or a community group thing. They learn to interact with kids of all different ages and social statuses, rather than being with others all day that are pretty much the same as you. There's also sports, classes from community centers, classes at colleges that count as college credit and high school, neighborhood friends, etc.

Answer 2

I have to ask...how many homeschooled kids do you know?  My kids are involved in far more more things, with far more people than they ever were at school.  Here's a one week sample of their "social"  experiences.  We are finished school by 11:00, so  here are the things we did, this week, in the afternoons.

Monday, we met up at a park with two other homeschool families.  There were eight kids of differing ages.  

Tuesday, we had our monthly visit at a nursing home.  This is done with the same two families we met at the park.  The kids interact with the residents by talking, playing games, doing puzzles, reading and performing musically.

Wednesday, my six year old went to his creative writing class while my four year old had swimming lessons.

Thursday (today), we went to the zoo.  We took the neighbor's two kids with us.

Tomorrow (Friday), we're going swimming at a pool with water slides.  There are a total of seventeen kids signed up.  

They do all this while remaining one to two grade levels ahead.  How exactly are they missing out socially? People think we keep our kids locked inside and never let them out.

By the way, you need look up the definition of antisocial.

EDIT:  You have yet to see confidence in a homeschooled kid? That's the kind of uninformed stereotype that homeschoolers have heard so often that we've simply learned to ignore it.

Answer 3

We keep up social aspects by socializing, everywhere we go.  It's not like homeschoolers are hermits.  

In fact, you know enough homeschooled kids to make generalizations about them, so obviously they interact with you.

Personalities develop early in life, and I hardly believe that antisocial personality disorders are more common amongst homeschool kids.

There are place to make friends outside of school.  Life does go on outside of the classroom.  There are many people living and socializing while you're in school.  Where do you think people make friends after they graduate?

Maybe if you had an open mind you could imagine learning from a quiet person.  And maybe imagine what you could do if you didn't spend so much time in a classroom.  There are so many opportunities out here.

:D

Answer 4

Most homeschooled kids' families are in a network, or partner with other homeschooled families. They meet.  Homeschooled families I know take gym at the YMCA, go to church and other activities, and correspond with other homeschooled kids. Because they have less work, they can volunteer more during the day, or even work a job. They don't sit home all day isolated.

Answer 5

All three of my kids have been homeschooled from the beginning and all three are confident and friendly.  They are not the least bit anti-social.  How do I get them to "keep up" socially?   I just let them be who they are.  That seems to work just fine for mine.  I have known some shy kids who are homeschooled as well as shy kids who go to public school.  Some people are shy, that is just their personality.  I was always a shy person, still am.  I know for sure It didn't come from being homeschooled because I was not homeschooled.  I don't think it came from being in public school either, it is just my personality.  I did not learn how to interact with others by being around other people all day in school.  I learned to interact with other people when I got a job.  

I look forward to your responses.

Answer 6

There are some homeschoolers who really don't get out alot but the bigger part of us do I have so many extra activity I had to cut back this year for school work. We have sports, Dance (ballet,Tap,Cheer) extra classes we can take outside of our homes and you can get buddy passes to go w/a friend who is not home schooled  to any of the dances homecoming,formals,Prom. and For people who go to church there are the activity's there..all of my home schooled friends (which aren't many lol) have jobs and in WI I don't know about other states but you can take a few classes or even half a day at a "real" high school.

Answer 7

You do not go to school to socialize, atleast that is what I was always told.  And, if you really think about it, there is little time for socializing-before and after school, at lunch/recess and the few minutes between classes.   I think there is little time for socializing after school as well, because most students have homework to do.

My question for you would be-what do you do on evenings, weekends?  What about holiday breaks?  Summer vacation?  Do you not manage to socialize during those times, because school is out?

My children have always been homeschooled.  They have numerous acquaintances and some very good friends.  They go to church, are in Scouts, play baseball.  They have cousins and the children of our friends.  We are in a group where we get together for field trips, play dates, classes, and activities such as dances, spelling bees, science fairs...Not to mention all of the other activities they participate in (4H, drama, etc.).

Other than that, they socialize with children of all ages and adults alike.  They do not limit their friends to people born the same year they were.

I am sorry that you have to have school as a crutch to make friends.  Do not feel sorry for my children, though-they are smart and socially adept without the aid of a school environment.

EDITED TO ADD: I was a quiet child in school, I am still shy.  I was PUBLIC SCHOOLED.  My homeschooled children are quiet confidant.  My daughter has gotten up and performed in front of thousands of people.  She sang a capella in front of several hundred.  My son will walk up to children on the playground and introduce himself and ask if they want to join him in .............. (playing baseball, having a race, on the seesaw, whatever).  Some homeschooled children might be quiet, just as some public schooled children are.  Perhaps in some cases, they are homeschooled because of their shyness (I certainly would have preferred it), not shy because they are homeschooled.

Answer 8

Here is one day in the life of one homeschooler - my 9th grader.

Today: Coop classes this morning... at 1:30 instead of sitting in a classroom or at the kitchen table he went hiking with 10th, 11th & 12th graders all afternoon.  

At the moment he / they are all eating pizza at some pizza joint in the down town area of a nearby college town.  Lots of kids around - mine most likely the youngest.

A 9th grader with a bunch of older kids!!!!  Probably contrary to your social template but much more real life than being stuck all the time with same age kids.

All of the homeschool kids that I have met (100s) and I run a local homeschool club are socially different but in a good way.

Now, if you want to talk about anti-social behavior... think about a bunch of 3rd graders plotting to kill their teacher and carrying out their plans to the extent of bringing weapons to school.... Or, how about a bunch of cheerleaders imprisoning a peer and taking turns beating her in the face for a 1/2 hour or so...

Not sure what kind of society you live in or hope for...

Answer 9

"Keep up socially"? What does that mean exactly? My kids interact with other kids fairly regularly: community lessons, community sports, friends, park days (this is very regular), play dates, parties, family (fairly large extended family and lots of family get-togethers). They also get coaching from me when I feel they need it.

If they were to go to school, I suppose they might stick out or be clueless in some ways. I consider that good because there are things I saw while teaching that I do not want my kids to adopt as their attitudes and personality traits and behaviours.

My kids are not antisocial; they are far more social than I ever was in school. Most of the antisocial homeschooled kids I've met were kids who were just pulled out of public school--seriously. They came around in time, getting used to not always being with exactly the same kids and not worrying so much about ages and grades.

I see regularly how the group of homeschooled kids we know are very social and very laid back about socializing. They have no problems making friends and interacting with others. And when problems arise, as they do in life, there are plenty of adults available to guide them, if need be.

Do you believe that before most people went to school, most people didn't have friends? I know it is hard for you to imagine a life without school since that's all you've ever known--I'm sure I couldn't have imagined such a thing while I was still in school--but that doesn't mean it's impossible to socialize with others and have friends.

You might also consider that you *have* met social homeschooled kids that you didn't know homeschooled. I've konwn homeschooled kids who had been friends with public schooled kids for a long time before the public schooled friends found out about the homeschooling. They never would have guessed. "But you're so nice, and not weird and not hippy-like and..." They never would have known had it not been brought up.

One last thing, you have to stop thinking that homeschooling automatically means being home all the time! For many homeschooling families, this is far from the truth.

ADDED: I just read your added detail and the other responses. You seem to think that all homeschooled kids are quiet so they can't possibly learn social skills from each other. You have to stop thinking that all homeschooled kids are quiet. Just because all of the ones you have met might have been (or might have been the time you were interacting with them--maybe they just didn't feel they were able to connect with you because you had nothing in common) doesn't mean that all or even most homeschooled kids are quiet.

Are 2yo's quiet? 3yo's? 4yo's? They don't go to school. When you get a group of kids around that age together, they naturally interact, don't they? Keep that 4yo at home for when s/he's 5 and keep doing social activities... S/he's still going to be social, isn't s/he? Keep doing so for ages 6, 7, 8, 9, ... Why should they be quiet? Do you believe all people are naturally born quiet and it requires school to make them social?