What age do you think is old enough?

Question

I have a 4 almost 5 yr old daughter...my husband says that she is too young to clean her room and make her bed. He will baby her and clean the room for her and then help her make her bed. I stay at home with her so when I tell her to go and clean her room, she doesn't know where to begin....

Do you think she is too young, or do I need to have the dreeded conversation with my hubby and tell him she is old enough?

Answer 1

She is definately not too young. She needs to learn responsibility and cleaning her room is a great place to start.

Answer 2

She is young enough toclean her own room! Tell her to pick up her books, old clothes, and make her bed and it will be almost done!

Answer 3

She is old enough to make an effort - that is - with mom or dad's help and supevision.  If you say "go clean your room" shes not going to know what to do.  But if you go in there with her and say, okay, now let's put your clothes in here - do that - then, let's put your toys here - do that - and continue one step at a time, there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to give a lot of assistance.  I think you and your hubby both need to come towards the middle.

Answer 4

if shes young it be less of a stuggle to when shes older

Answer 5

Personally, I don't think she is too young to clean up her room.  My husband and I went through the same thing - I felt like they should clean up after themselves and he didn't like making them do it so he went in there room and cleaned it up himself.  

I think (my personal opinion) that it is time to have a talk with your husband.  If you don't have an agreement with him about not cleaning up after her all the time you are going to have an uphill battle trying to get her to do it.  

A couple of things to consider, though.  You may have to teach her to clean up but once you are satisfied that she knows what to do don't let her use that as an excuse not to do it (my kids do that often :p ).  Also, the more toys she has the more overwhelming cleaning them up are.  If you think that may be part of the reason she doesn't know where to start then you might want to get rid of some of them.  I know my kids were spoiled rotten by their grandparents and even as adults my husband and I had a hard time trying to figure out where to put all of their stuff - I can't imagine trying to make a child do that.  We still go through their room periodically and get rid of toys they don't play with much.

Answer 6

The technical answer is, a 5 year-old is old enough to put away their toys and make the bed (although not well).   The real question is, at what age should a parent expect their child to do these things?  That is personal choice.   You mentioned your daughter doesn't know where to start.  Teach her by having her clean up with you.  Tell her that she needs to clean her room and Mommy is going to help.  

Ask yourself, do you feel your daughter is too young, or is it that you just want to do these things for her?  It is OK to say that is the kind of Mom I want to be.  If that is the case, then find a compromise with your husband.

Answer 7

She is still a little to young to be cleaning her room,and making her bed. However, she surely can "help" you. You need to start out with small chores for her, maybe setting the table for dinner, feeding her dog, little things like that. See if she can keep up with these things first.

Answer 8

do it in little steps don't create resentment in chores later you will pay the price teach a sense of pride in ownership in own space

Answer 9

Well I have a 7 yr old and what I do is have her help me clean her room.  I think just telling them that young to go clean your room is too overwhelming.  Give her things to do like put all your animals here.  Or put your clothes in this drawer.

Answer 10

That is the right age to tell them that they need to clean their own room. If you don't start now they will never learn, and except people to do everything for them.

Answer 11

She is old enough to do little chores.  My 6 year old makes her bed and cleans her room.  She doesn't like it, but neither do I lol.

Answer 12

She is old enough to clean her room.  Making the bed might be a little harder.

Answer 13

I babysit my 3 cousins all the time. They are 20months,3 and 5. All three of them clean their own rooms,with a little help...yes the 5 year old could make her bed if she was told to.

You should tell themstep by step on what to do.

Answer 14

Wait til six, but gradually start teaching her responsibilty.

Answer 15

She can start doing chores at her age.  It is very easy to make your bed,  an almost 5 year old is certainly capable of doing this chore.

Answer 16

Start them as young as possible.

Answer 17

She isn't to young. you shouldn't expect her to have it cleaned exactly like you would do it. but putting responsibility in her life at at young age will be a part of who she is when she gets older. you are doing right. Your husband is just being a good father and she is probably daddy's little girl!!!

Answer 18

personally  I think that age is far too young to be cleaning her own room. however teaching her to keep it clean by picking up after herself and working with her to clean the room is never too young.. I think you are on the right track.. teaching her to be responsible at an early age is very important...

Answer 19

shes definitly old enough.  Being told go clean ur room is very vague to a 4 yr old.  how about being more specific like...having her sort clothes into piles then put the piles in the appropriate drawers..  pre-school aged children need direction as well as rules and structure.  Your on the right path.  just get down to her level and explain exactly what you u need done and how big she is to help you.  A little reward would also be good .

Answer 20

i have 4 year old triplets who are turning 5 next month. they have to clean their own room but i dont make them make their bed. that just seems too hard for them

Answer 21

You are right to have her clean her room, BUT you're being too vague in your language for a 4 yr old.  

When she wakes up, that's the time for bed making.  You take one sheet corner and she takes the other.  Then have her put all of her pillows/babies/animals on the bed.  When she wakes up, it's time for them to go to bed.

You wouldn't have to make her clean her whole room if she put away her toys as she was finished playing with them.  That's a more specific request.  "It's time to put the blocks away in their bucket"  is far easier to follow than, "Clean your room."  I tell my 2 yr old that toys are sad when we don't put them back in their home.  But remember, after she does what you ask you need to give her a sticker or verbal praise.  Learning to be self sufficient is hard when you're 4!

Answer 22

Tell your husband she needs to start learning.  When you tell her to clean her room again; help her, so she'll start knowing how to do it.