What age should parents stop putting their children to bed? (laying in bed with them until they go to sleep)?

Question

MY little brother who is 9 years old is constantly having my mom put him to bed. Not just tucking him in (if she just tucks him in he'll complain and cry)staying with him until he falls asleep in bed with him. And he is now taking advantage of my mom and having her put him to bed every night. and now she has no time with me or my older brother. when i was his age no one put me to bed so i guess he feels he gets what he wants (UGHHH).So this concludes to two questions: Is he too old to be being put to bed every night? And should my mom be ok with this?

Answer 1

Yes, he is well beyond the age where he should be putting himself to bed and not having to have your mother with him until he falls asleep.  If she continues to do this it is going to last until she puts her foot down and completely kill his sense of independence.  He's too old to continue to be coddled.

Answer 2

Im a mum with 2 kids my son is 10 & my daughter is 7.For me I have always taken my kids to bed kiss them goodnight and then I leave the room.If your brother wants your mum to take him to bed thats fine but let him know its time he fall asleep on his own.He is a big boy now he doesnt need mum to stay with him to fall asleep!

Answer 3

9 years old is just fine. Let them in if you like. My kids are now a bit older and in high school and both honor roll students with 4.4 GPA's and stars in sports and involved with church and my kids turned out perfect and I had no problem letting them in bed when they were 9 despite what some "so called professionals" told me to the contrary. Some of those professionals kids are fu**ked up now I learned so my advice is more professional since I have proof in the pudding of how to raise children into perfect adults.

Answer 4

9 is way to old for doing that, we do not even do it for our 18month old (full size bed, asleep within 5 minutes) so she should put a stop to it now !!

Answer 5

My boys are 10 and 12, I still walk to their doors at night as they are getting into bed to say good night and have been doing it this way for 3-4 years now. So yes he is too old to have your mother laying in bed with him. If he starts to cry she needs to shut the door and let him cry eventually he will learn to fall asleep by himself. Unfortunately she let him get away with it for so long that he will continue until she says enough and actually follows through.

Your mom shouldn't be okay with it, she should stop it now.

Answer 6

Tucking in i'd say fine, but he's too old for her to stay til he falls asleep though.

Answer 7

If it comforts your brother I do not see the problem. If my girls can't sleep-they just go to each others rooms and snuggle up. Some kids just need that.

I still *rock* and sing to my 5 year old sometimes to fall asleep. It makes her happy and I'm not inconvenienced by cuddling with my children.

Answer 8

Sometimes it's hard to let the youngest child grow up.

We still went in every night until my daughter was about 12 to "tuck her in".

Sometimes she's tell us about her day.....or an assignment that was bothering her......or something she was trying to get her to buy for us.

It was a quiet time and I don't see the problem with it.

She's 23 years old now and she's lives on her own and she's fine.

Answer 9

WOW 9 YEARS and still wants mummy to lye with him... my daughter is 8 and has been running off to bed since she was 4.5 years old - kiss hug i love you night... seeya in laa laa land....

still now same routine... kiss hug love you good night... zzzzzz

try the not sitting on the bed.... but on the floor... each night move a step closer to the door.... after 5 nights you should be able to kiss hug etc.... its call separation anxiety...

dont sit on the bed.... and dont touch him eg hold hands... he needs to be able to put himself to sleep or he may have serious dramas later in life... you want a confidant young boy ... not a needy sooky kid...

good luck

Answer 10

5or6 is when but hes way to old to do that!!

Answer 11

Sounds a bit weird to me, i've never stayed with my boys until they fell asleep unless they were sick or in hospital.

Answer 12

9 years old that's ridiculous I don't agree.... parents should never even start staying with their child until they fall asleep I have a 9 year old daughter and couldnt imagine her wanting me to stay with her till she fell asleep unless she had a bad dream but everynight your mom needs to get a backbone and send the little one to bed by him self

Answer 13

I think from the day they are born  you should not lie with them till they are asleep. Kids need to learn to put themselves to sleep

Answer 14

i agree with laying down with and soothing your child of any age IF that child is seriously unwell or in a great deal of pain (physical or emotional).

Otherwise, it's important for all children to have the self confidence and independence to be able to fall asleep on their own.

in my opinion, you have to approach your mother and let her know that you are missing her and you would prefer to spend more time with her. She won't know unless you tell her.

I believe that he is far too old to be put to bed at night and i think she should be concerned about him and his neediness.

Answer 15

um, my 3 yr old does not need me to lay in bed with her. i read her a few stories and sing a song or two then get the h**l out of there. sometimes she cries for a few minutes, but kids need to learn how to self soothe....especially by the age of 9!!!

Answer 16

you definately should talk to your mum about this... sounds like your little brother is taking advantage.. maybe just suggest like.. on tuesdays she lays with your brother... thursday night is your night to pick what you do with your mum.. and then another night for your other brother.. so everyones getting a little alone time with her...

good luck

Answer 17

it sounds like your brother wants alone time with mom.  It also sounds like you dont get much time with her because of it.  I would do 2 things.  tell your mom how you feel and what you have observed. make sure you add the part about missing time with her.

then suggest to your mom that she start her routine with your brother earlier,( so you'll get some time) and....brother gets a time limit, like 15 minutes.  make sure he knows this in advance.

I know from experience that my boys just enjoyed having me alone for a few minutes to share things about the day.  It was much more that instead of ' tucking them into bed'

good luck....

Answer 18

Honestly he is WAY too old to have someone lie in bed with him until he falls asleep! In my honest opinion I don't even think parents should do this with infants seeing as it poses as a security object for the child to fall asleep and later in life(in which case your brother) they will demand it and not go to sleep without it no matter what!

Your mom seriously needs to break this habit NOW,especially if it is abusing the time with her other children(meaning she does not have time for the other kids due to this) She needs to realize that he is eventually going to be 15 and want mommy to lie in bed with him until he falls asleep. She needs to stop this immediately before it gets way worse than it already has. Its not gonna kill your brother to cry and whine because he doesn't get what he wants...HE IS 9 YEARS OLD he can handle it.